Comments by "Christopher Conard" (@christopherconard2831) on "Count Dankula" channel.

  1. I've got pubes in my eye. I've got pubes on my face. I've got pubes in my coffee.... Yeah, I've woken up after that party too.
    363
  2. It should also be noted that the soldiers returned the weapons they had taken from the armory. All were properly stripped, cleaned, and reassembled ready for storage. Basic training, and the fear of handing a dirty weapon to a DI is a lifelong thing.
    212
  3. I feel disconnected from the audience. I have a growing contempt for them. Rodger Waters: I'll write The Wall. GG: I'll literally shit on them, then attack any who stick around.
    195
  4. Promise of the internet. Anyone can communicate with anyone, anywhere about anything. Dilemma of the internet. Anyone can communicate with anyone, anywhere about anything.
    115
  5. As long as Marines know the flat part goes against their shoulder and the angry tube points towards the enemy. Along with orange crayons for breakfast, blue for lunch they'll be fine.
    73
  6. A friend worked for a group that came up with a system that was quite advanced for the time. Unfortunately too advanced, almost no one could afford a computer to run it. No one bothered to mention that last part to investors and they had truckloads of cash being dumped on them so they could develop an even bigger, faster, and better version. That fewer still (meaning the technology hadn't been invented yet) computers could use it. It was fun and profitable up until people started asking silly questions about sales.
    58
  7. I know it's a recreation, but I've had a deputy move faster towards me when my phone went off in court.
    54
  8. I've never understood why attempted murder is treated so lightly in court. Why should either my ability to take punishment or your incompetence reduce the amount of time you do for a crime? The intent was the same, only the outcome was different.
    42
  9. If they added a moose rodeo or bear wrestling he'd have gone. And probably participated.
    40
  10. ​ @DoctorWhat210  Thanks, I've always associated that with Charles.
    33
  11. Ex employee sends 900 grievance letters. Employer finds a bomb. Police "Dead end, no suspects that we can think of." Sounds about average.
    31
  12. 224th.
    28
  13. Unfortunately modern (very modern) history has shown too many people will do whatever a government bureaucrat tells them to do, they'll do. Especially if a talking head on TV reinforces the message.
    28
  14. The article describing the events will start "Florida man....."
    21
  15. But those silly natives just ate them. It took Russians to unlock their true purpose and glory.
    18
  16. If you rearrange the ad reads he's been doing the Madagascar video in chapters for a few weeks. You just have to know the code.
    17
  17. At least we're not Detroit. Unofficial motto of Chicago when I was younger. Unfortunately Chicago took it as a challenge, not a warning.
    15
  18. If you aren't on a couple watch lists you aren't living life right.
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  19. East St Louis. It serves as a premade post apocalypse background, ready made for any movie.
    13
  20. Legend in the same sense as Jamaicans trying to do a bobsled run.
    12
  21. Who among us hasn't smoked questionable substances through an improvised apparatus?
    12
  22. Brandon Herrera will be building a Luty for his channel in the next month or so.
    12
  23. While Mumsy Thatcher wasn't directly involved. It is widely assumed she was quite aware of what Junior was doing.
    10
  24. Idea for the ever mentioned video. Dank and crew face off against Sargon and his people. The winners write the script and edit the video. Losing side has to read it on camera. Guaranteed lots of views. And possibly being banned from YouTube.
    9
  25. Check out Drachinifel Voyage of the Damned parts 1&2.
    9
  26. Okay, maybe (But we aren't confirming anything) there might be a connection. Here's 800mg of ibuprofen, see you in two months.
    8
  27. Doomsday cults become a real threat when they decide to "save" the non-believers by taking them out first.
    7
  28. ​ @jefferymosdell2490  From the outside almost all religions look odd. I say this as someone who was raised very Catholic.
    7
  29. A few, but they're really weird.
    7
  30. First reaction. No. Second reaction. Remember those things I lost in a boating accident? Yeah, I just found one.
    6
  31. There's a variant in every state. Jury nullification, convince the jury "Yeah I did it. So what?"
    6
  32. If Beavis and Butthead had spent a week spun up on crank.
    6
  33. I'm not sure if it is accurate. But a teacher at my old highschool said the company that built it was also the go-to company for building and expanding prisons in the state of Florida. It was probably just because that was the construction style in vogue at the time it was built, but if you added a stronger fence around the outside it would have been believable as a jail.
    6
  34. In an effort to keep up views during the sponsor ad read he'll add it a few lines at a time each video.
    5
  35. I knew an Armenian who could probably grow one during a video. I'm pretty sure he was born with five o'clock shadow, and about 10% of his metabolism is geared towards growing hair.
    5
  36. Police: "I believed he was reaching for my gun." Well, thankfully cops have learned to use a better excuse today.
    5
  37. I could imagine it in Catch 22.
    4
  38. For an additional level of fun, turn on YouTube auto translate. It has no idea what to do with a Scottish accent.
    4
  39. A reason contracts are so long. A lot of it is obvious, but if it doesn't specifically say you can't, you can.
    4
  40. Obligatory comment to help spread the word of Dankula. And a good video too.
    3
  41. Listerine was named in honor of Dr Lister who worked a few years later. Though Dr Lister had nothing to do with with inventing it he is credited with being an early proponent of germ theory and it's connection to infection. He developed several methods of sterilizing equipment and demanded cleaner operating areas.
    2
  42. A bar I used to go to had Bladder Buster Night. They'd ring a bell and all beer was free until someone went to the bathroom. We figured out when they were about to ring it and duck off to drain any excess. Then stand like a guard unit protecting the doors. Yes, people suffered, but free beer so we didn't care.
    2
  43. But only robbed banks that supported anti LGBTQLMNOP legislation.
    2
  44. ​ @natemckenzie8933  I was one and done. My ex was on husband #3 last time I heard.
    2
  45.  @robertsmalls2293  Rajneeshies (Sp?) Used Salmonella to poison over 700 people in Oregon. Another group used sarin gas in Tokyo. People's Temple (Jim Jones) killed people visiting right before they died. And, for the record, I've never played Far Cry.
    1
  46. Death related to meth is probably linked to the questionable decisions a person makes after being awake for four or more days.
    1
  47. The part of the claim about Iraq having chemical weapons later on that no one wanted to say out loud, "Because we sold them to him". US, French, and German companies all sold the equipment to make chemical weapons to Iraq. This was done with the full knowledge of their respective governments. They weren't found in the second invasion (At least not much) for two reasons. 1) We destroyed most of them during the first war. 2) Sadam Husain used what was left on his own people. Gassing the Kurds, among others, was well documented. We just didn't know how much he had left and wouldn't let anyone check. Which, in all honesty, wasn't a bad policy. When you are in a violent neighborhood you usually don't like to advertise that you are out of ammo. Because Iran couldn't be sure they chose to stay on their side of the border. Husain underestimated the West's desire to get rid of him and their willingness to use the lack of inspections as an excuse.
    1
  48. I admit to a secret joy by making Google Translate try to follow a Scottish accent in the closed captions.
    1
  49. There are several stories of more aristocratic officers refusing to surrender to men of a lesser rank. But refusing to be shot by one is definitely a whole new level.
    1
  50. Jewell wasn't the bomber. His story about finding a bomb and trying to warn people turned out to be true. It took a long time for the FBI to admit they screwed up, but not before destroying his life.
    1