Comments by "yessum15" (@yessum15) on "Charisma on Command" channel.

@adriansoul7223 What you just wrote is self-flaggelating nonsense. No one gives a damn about rewarding bravery & confidence. The very fact that you see someone enjoying your company as them rewarding you reflects a poor self esteem that can only conceive of others' approval as some sort of trophy. People are open to individuals who demonstrate confidence mainly for 3 reasons: 1) Humans are mostly conditioned to expect honesty. Therefore when we see confidence, we tend to assume it is backed by value. 2) Confident people are comfortable, and speaking to a comfortable person is relaxing as you don't get that restless feeling that you should be doing something to assist them. 3) People enjoy happy people because mood is contagious. That's pretty much it. And yes, this instinct is often flawed, as many scammers draw their livelihood by creating the illusion of value and sincerity through projecting confidence.
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@tyranttitanium5721 You are generally correct. Don't listen to people telling you otherwise. "Con man" is short for "confidence man". Scammers make their livelihood by exploiting the flaw you identified. The issue is that this generally doesn't apply to Shark Tank because: 1) The Sharks are the con men here. These are billionaires who don't really need any of these investments. The product they are selling is the manufactured drama of the TV show, so part of their goal is just looking to publicly embarrass the contestants. 2) When the Sharks actually want to invest with a company they have a team of analysts and accountants who can cut through the bs regardless of how slick the presenter is. At this level I would actually say slick confidence probably hurts you. Large investors will praise you up and down for your confidence while simultaneously quietly rejecting you. They only care about the underlying numbers. If you have that, no one gives a damn about anything else. Confidence is nice, but a lot of these self help channels exploit young people by overselling the importance. At best, confidence is just a byproduct of comfort. It's better to focus on making yourself comfortable than trying to make yourself confident. It's self-esteem that teaches us to prioritize our own comfort. Self esteem comes from recognizing your own worth and value as a human being irrespective of what you can do for others. Learning to love & appreciate yourself is more important than trying to project a veneer of confidence. Also if you don't have a guaranteed killer product, get an advanced degree in a high demand field. No amount of bravado trumps that.
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