Comments by "Widdekuu91" (@Widdekuu91) on "Tiger Mother: Socialization is Over-Romanticized" video.

  1. I know someone that got ill and went into the hospital at 6. She stayed until she was 11. She did her homework, sure. Plenty of time to work there. But barely anyone came to visit. Now she is 35 and we regularly meet, we join the same club. She calls me her best friend, which means she has nobody else to talk to. Her social-mental age is far behind, probably between 8 or 12. I'm nearly 30 and meeting her is, shortly said, very unpleasant. She has never learned how to communicate with others. She is rigid and stuck in her own world, her own stories and (still!) does not understand that others have feelings too. Besides a severe dislike of children and anyone that seems to be in need of help (which she doesn't understand, because she's never learned that others deserve care too) she is unable to be around animals. She taunts them on purpose (like a child would) and doesn't understand when they fight. "Look, they play!", she'll say. She also thinks that hitting animals or children is a good method, if they misbehave. She has never learned that that is a "mean" thing to do. I have expressed my opinion about meeting her, to her social-mentor, who instructed me to try and avoid meeting her more than once a week, no matter how much she asks me to. "She needs therapy and a social guidance-workshop", she said. "She is leeching the attention and energy of people at the moment and doesn't seem to notice. When you get up to leave, she physically grabs your arm and tells you to stay and listen to the same story one more time. You can only help her by showing the boundaries of a normal human being. Get up and leave, once she starts to do that.' Recently, this has turned into a real mess, because she doesn't know how to express her emotions and will burst into tears as soon as she meets you, because of something that happened last week and she 'still needed to talk about.' She'll press her face on the table like a child and, while drooling and screaming, talk about her problem. There is no way in the world she will let you interrupt or talk. I am not responsible for her actions, she has people to help her. But she recently mentioned; 'if my brain doesn't stop with the overwhelming amount of difficult emotions, it is too much and I will jump in front of a train." (Sometimes these emotions are legit and difficult, sometimes they are about her car being in repair or forgetting her pea-soup. All the same.) If you never learn how to be social, you will not learn how to recognize your own social emotions. It's like not-knowing how a bucket works, while your house is flooding. You'll drown.
    3