Comments by "Widdekuu91" (@Widdekuu91) on "Drew Gooden" channel.

  1. I would've liked; 'Hey, nice! Doritos" and then a handsome smile, a sortof half-wave or half-a-indexfinger point and a small nod, you know what I mean. I will smile and nod back and say; 'Yeah! Haha!' If I find him interesting, I will give him a few glances at the cashdesk and if he's outside, he can say; "Youknow, maybe this is too sudden, but I like you and I've just scribbled my number down on my receipt. I would love to hang out one day and eat Doritos together. If you'd like that too, give me a call!' and then hand me the note. That gives me the chance to say; 'Yes, sure!' or 'Oh thanks but..I don't think I'm currently looking for something. Thanks though, I appreciate it. You seem like a great guy. I dó really appreciate it." To which he'll then say; 'Ah, all good, no worries! Enjoy your Doritos lady! as he walks off a bit) and I answer; 'Haha, thanks, I'm Emma bytheway!' And he'll reply; 'Ah, well I'm ... have a good day, Emma, bye!' I mean, back in my day, this was flirting (depending on the answer, ofcourse. No was no.) Now, it seems you have to hand over your number like you're held at gunpoint after you smile to someone.
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  2. As a Pedagogic Worker from the Netherlands, I can assure you that if someone learns sex from the internet it is not a nice person to have sex with.
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  3.  @SearaChar  Thankyou :) Well, maybe I should start a twitter-account that- just kidding. :P
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  4. Youknow, in Dutch, the word for woman, female and wife is the same. And the word for husband, man and male is the same too. It's vrouw and man. If you get married, the only thing that changes is that instead of being 'een vrouw' (a woman/female) you are now 'his vrouw' and he will say; 'I am her man.' It's the one that you've picked to be yours and they have picked you to be theirs. If you really try to say husband or wife, you'd likely use the word echtgenoot/echtgenote which means "companion-who's-presence-I-enjoy in marriage." Genootje is a bit like the humanisation of 'little pleasure/enjoyment' and klasgenootje is your classmate. Someone who you enjoyed being in class with.
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  5. That's brilliant, I once shut down Jehova's Witnesses by answering; 'I don't want to talk about your Gods, but I want to talk about MY Gods. Let me introduce you to my favorite band (after which I presented them with magazines, posters and music. And some printed out pictures that they were allowed to take.) They didn't want that, ofcourse, so they were off quite quickly.
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  6. I've felt trapped once, when some drunk dudes started putting their arms around my top half, pinching my sides, tickling me in a sortof grabby way while a third one started acting like some discount-Disneyvillains (looking me into the face drunkishly and slurring; 'Ohnonoh noh noh...noooOOooow what do we have here? Why are you struggling? There's no need for that.." I mean, if he'd had enough hair on his upper lip to create a mustache, I bet he would've twirled it. He really felt powerful at that moment. Asswipe. Either way, I angrily screamed that they had to let go and stop being pathethic and tried stamping on his friend's foot (while the other continued groping) and the one in front of me kept 'Tut tut tut'-ing which infuriated me, so I gave up and shouted; 'HELP!' to my boyfriend that was standing about 5 steps away from me. Sadly he was too busy hitting on a girl that he'd later cheat on me with, so he was preocupied and did not do anything. It took me ages to wriggle myself free and when I confronted my boyfriend, he did not feel sorry, he just said; 'Well, had you stayed close to me, they probably wouldn't have done that. That's what you get when you walk away on your own." Which creepily reminded me of my parents when I was 4, youknow, telling me not to walk off on my own. I was 22 at that moment, so that boyfriend had no right to act like it was normal for me 'not to be able to walk off on my own.' Either way, he's my ex now. I am in therapy for the whole thing (not this incident, this was one of thousands) and I've come as far as pitying my ex for his spineless behaviour, because this was constantly happening. And I was álways sticking up for him if it was necessary. Conclusion, I might not be able to fight off three guys, but I am stronger than him, luckily.
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  7. You can, but it is frowned upon. I have done that before though, with bread xD
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  8. I had a boyfriend that tried to 'prank me' by calling me up and pretending to be in big trouble. Whether a man on the street was 'attacking him' with light-explosions or he was 'balancing on a thin road with ice everywhere and a massive cliff-like situation on the right" or he pretended that he'd seen aliens and that all the car-alarms were going off in the neighbourhood. He would usually hang up midway during the phonecall and then shut his phone off. I would be worried (whether he was having a psychotic episode or was laying dead in a ditch with a broken neck, after slipping on ice with his bike) and then 3 days later he'd gaslight me and tell me that he did not remember a thing about it. I was worried for a long time that this was a symptom, but he started doing it with other things too, so eventually, I knéw this was on purpose, to mess with me. He also started pretending that a woman called Bianca was a childhood friend that had been exceptional in every way possible, súch a close friendship and that she wanted to meet up. He also put a picture of her, on the wall and argued that he could have pictures of friends on his wall, coïncidentally the wall next to my nightstand, but o.k. whatever. He kept on talking about her, showing pictures of her on a horse and her art and her music and her singing and eventually I was só intimidated and jealous that I burst into tears, saying that I had barely slept last night, because all he had been talking about for the past month was Bianca and I was worried. Meanwhile he kept saying that I shouldn't be jealous of his friends and then his male friends backed him up, by saying that I should be happy that he was so close to women, that way he might learn things that would benefit me and the fact that he was friends with people, was good, right? (Forgot to mention here that he also had planned a future friendshipdate with Bianca, but I was not invited because he was afraid we wouldn't match. She would likely 'think of me as a simple woman that didn't have any guts' and I would 'just annoy her with my presence' because Bianca was, youknow, a cowgirl from Australia (where she has moved to) that just didn't take shit and I was, as we both knew, a woman with a broken spirit.) Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and had a small breakdown, sobbing about something else lead to me screaming; 'And waking up to that face of Bianca every morning is really exhausting!!!" He then laughed and showed me the back of the picture, which had been a stockphoto. Bianca did not exist, it was all fake. He told his friends the good news (Widdekuu91 fell for it, she even cried, buhaha) and the new prank was developped right there, with them.
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  9. I think it has more to do with wanting to controll people. He'd have to unpack that with a therapist and figure out where that urge to controll others comes from. I dated someone that probably went for me, because I was easily influencable and manipulated and he did that, because he had been 'controlled' by people his entire life and his worst fear was to be with a woman that just like his mother would controll his life and tell him what to do. So he nééded someone to be emotionally unstable and lean on him, so HE was the one in controll. I don't think he realised that that's what he was doing, but I hád mentioned to him; 'Interesting, how all of your 11 exes were all the victims of s-assault before you dated them.' To which he probably thought; 'Ah, yeah, I am a rescuer-type-of-man.' No, he was the kind of man that could not handle anyone being as strong as he was, out of fear of being surpressed by her (even if that was not her intention at all.)
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  10.  @killian2365  No, I don't talk to them anymore. The breakup was actually initiated by him, because he said he had no feelings for me anymore. It was a good thing that we broke up (so I am not angry about that) even though he blamed me for a whole lot of things. But I think that just made it easier for him to break up with me, because he had tried it 2 times before, but had always changed his mind. The second time he broke up with me, it was because I 'disobeyed' him when he asked me to stop speaking about something bad that happened. He broke up with me, ignored me for a week and then invited me over. I (stupid) came over and he said we were together again. He said to me; 'I hope you realise why I had to hurt you. Sometimes we need to hurt the people we love the most, because they are the ones that need to feel how they would suffer without us. You needed to be reminded of what your life is without me, which you did not like, right? You vomited and cried the whole week? Yes, so, you realise now that you don't want that to happen again right? That was what I tried to teach you." I said: That sounds abusive to me.' but he did not answer. The last time he broke up with me, he changed his mind again, it was all very confusing and he tried to sleep with me, etc. But I went home to my parents and told him that he should think about it, REALLY think about whether or not he loved me. And then, a month later, he still hadn't said anything, but some of his friends warned me that he had been involved with other ladies, not to mention, he was bragging and boasting about his single life and his future summeractivities. I asked him, via FB, whether or not he had already decided. He said that it was rude not to greet him properly (was very insulted) and said; 'I did not know there was a deadline or something.' I informed him that I was done and wanted someone that wouldn't have to think a month long about whether or not they miss me and want to be with me. He then started vomiting and was very upset. I told him I was sorry, but it was over. He asked me if I could please not inform our friends yet, because he said he wanted to be able to sleep, without questions from friends. We had been together for 8 years. He said he wanted to tell them, the next morning, together. I said that was okay, and went to sleep. He spend the entire night, informing his friends that "the cold bitch, Widdekuu91, decided to dump me out of the blue via Facebook' and that everyone should delete me. They did, apart from 7 people. I ignored this and just went to get my stuff. He wanted to keep a little less than half of my lingerie, because he was "going to put it on his new girlfriend, that would either be skinnier than me or just as skinny." I did not argue and just went home with almost all my stuff. My art on the wall, was something he still had to think about, because it was made for him, so he was going to keep a few things. He was going to send the other paintings to me, together with 4-5 other things that were spontaniously missing that day. (not really) A few weeks later, his friend called me up and said he was at the trainstation with the box of art and stuff. I cycled over there, but he accidentally forgot to get out of the train. This happened again and again (I even left my mothers birthday and my grandma at some point, to be able to be there in time) and each time, he was not there. Then finally, I met him and he gave me a small box, an angry look and went away again. In the box were 2 paintings, that my ex had once made for me, with markers. None of my art. A load of mud covered the bottom, he had thrown my old tampons and pads from the bathroomcabinet in them. And my one plastic spider that I requested, was in it. I asked if I could have my art back, but he said he was going to burn it in a fire, on a mancave-weekend with his airsoftteam. He said that he could not stand the idea that I was not missing him (because he was missing me) and so, he wanted me to feel the loss of something dear to me. And in this case, that was all my art. I have had confirmed by a friend (at least, I thought it was a friend that later assaulted me) that he witnessed my ex throwing stuff into the flames on that weekend. I did not ask specifically, I asked; 'Anything special that happened on that weekend, with the fire?" and that's how I got that story. So it must have been true then. I was also tagged on Facebook (arguably, not as bad) by people that were told by him that I was cold, distant, coldhearted and mean. I was tagged in messages like "Happy to see you got rid of your lump *tag Widdekuu91 and hope you have fun travelling and being your awesome self" or things like that. Or people that tricked me into thinking they were my friends, would ask me all about the breakup and then reveal that they would copy it all to him. (I dont think that would be anything to make him happy, he knows everything already and I dont think he likes to be confronted with it all over again, but okay.) Either way, I have been contacted over the years by his friends, several times, that told me that he wanted me back and wondered if I would want to, but I do not. I am in therapy and it really helped me. I mentioned to my therapist; 'I think I was just very unclear and vague at the time, about my boundaries, it was partially my fault!' and my therapist said; Well..no, I just listened to your story, Widdekuu and I heard you say "no" and "I dont want that" in this situation, a few times. Just because you eventually caved under pressure, does not mean your boundary was unclear. You were very clear." That helped me a lot, because I was already putting myself down over that. So, apart from that, I am alright. I am doing a lot better now, making art (still get a lump in my throat sometimes, when thinking about my burned art) and I have been in the newspaper a few times, because of spontanious "acts of kindness." They still dont know who was the mysterious lady on the bicycle that left all the gifts and threw the candy and biscuits through people's letterboxes with notes, but pssshht that was me. :P So, yeah, I dont know what else to say. That was part of the ending of the relationship.
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  11. Make sure to always stay within other people's nearity and speak loud and calm. "I will not give you my number!' and "I do not want you to say that to me/do that." It's really difficult, especially to find the courage to speak out loudly in a scary situation like that, but IF you have to, speak loud and clear, like you're talking to an old, deaf person. No anger, just like you'd speak to your grandma. And make sure to pack your bag and get your stuff directly, so you can leave. And find other women or trustworthy-looking men to sit with and tell them; 'That man is not treating me right and I want to sit here.'
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  12. I confronted my surgeon mid-cutting that I could feel it and he did not take it serious, until I mentioned that I could feel that he cut a triangleshape in my gums. He lookd very shocked for a bit and then convinced himself that the surgery "was going to be over soon anyway" and that the amount of numbing was fiiiine. I mean, it was not and the surgery ended up being 45 minutes instead of 15 to 20. But I did enjoy seeing (part of, I was under surgerypaper) the look of shock on his face and his whispering mouth saying to the assistant; She is right, I did cut a triangle."
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  13. @@appleswithpeanutbutter609 I'm an autistic woman and PUA is not good advice. Read a social book and speak to some folk. The last thing you need is bad advice that "might occassionally work if the setting is right." That is exactly what will make you a creep in the other 99% and women will warn eachother if you get a name somewhere. If a girl looks at you and smiles comfortably, you might approach. Smile back, see if she keeps looking at you. See if she frowns or her smile drops, in that case, walk on. Don't run directly at her/stand superclose/walk in a straight motion, like you're in a shop-aisle going for the last box of cornflakes. Just casually stroll past, as you probably were already doing. Smile, say hello and if she turns away and ignores you or she says; 'Hai' and turns back around, she is not interested. If she puts a step on your direction, smiles, nods, keeps her body aimed 'at you' then she might want a conversation, which you start with; 'It seems you're having fun!' or "Is the water not too cold? I was considering going in the water, but was afraid it was too cold.' Or anything else that you genuienly thought (as long as it isn't "nice bathingsuit" or something.)
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  14. My go-to-turndown story has always been to recall that time my toe was infected. I don't know, people always recoil in disgust when I talk about how the puss had the consistency of thick mayonaise and came seeping out, covering the bathroomfloor. No guy has made it to that point though. Also, naked grandma's and mouldy refrigerators. Those subjects always work. And dog-vomit. Go right into detail about what you saw in it, which undigested stuff was still there.
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  15. Some of my bra's had that 'soft pink part' that it had in the video. I think that's fairly new. Mine surely didn't have that, back in the day. It was just sharp metal, square metal.
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  16. Why sáy that someone's on the way? It's not like a phonecall costs a lot nowadays...call them up!
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  17. Probably, yeah, he just went on when I politely asked him to stop, not to mention his assistant actively mocked me when I burst into tears near the end and started taunting me, saying I reminded her of a birthing mother and "cheering me on" for the "birth" of my molars. I asked her to stop, but you probably guessed what she did, she did not stop. If it makes anyone feel better (it does make me feel better) when I had to return for a checkup, I accidentally scraped my sharp teeth on the thumb of the surgeon and he screamed in pain and said; 'That really hurt! Why did you do that?!' I said; 'Sorry, it was an accident' but I didn't feel sorry about it, because now we were even. @@majesticmarely
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  18. @@majesticmarely Agreed. The second time, there was the same surgeon (that was before I hurt him) and the new assistant was a lot nicer. I had demanded a new assistant, this one actually ásked if she could take my ponytail-elastic out of my hair and then gently did it, whereas the first didn't ask and yank at my hair, pulling out a whole lot of hair in the process and not even bothering to apologize for the rough behaviour. Some people say that nurses/assistants are either angels or devils. In this case, that's definitely true.
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  19.  @lounirs  Thankyou. He probably knows how awful he was, but given the low selfesteem he had, I think he tries to avoid reminding himself of it. Whenever he was drunk and did something very nasty, and I confronted him, he always said; 'What did I tell you?! Don't confront me about what I have done when I am drunk! That is unfair, because I was drunk and when I am drunk, I do things I would normally not do!" No matter if it was violence or other things, I was not allowed to confront him about his actions. Thanks for the wellwishes when it comes to the art, I spontaniously started a new painting today haha, with hearts all over the world, connected through roadways and neon colours and cities... I am not sure. The idea came to me in a state of utter exhaustion and thyroid-issues (makes me become quite loopy in the head, a sortof high, I think) but the result looks quite cool haha. When I had near-anemia issues, I also started getting wacky and wrote down a whooole lot of ideas that came into my mind, a bit LSD-trippy, with flying goldfish and eyes and mammoths. I am on medication for the thyroid-and-iron-issues now, but it's good to know that if I ever get those issues again, at least I also get a ton of inspiration from it :D Not to mention, I've gained strength, because coïncidentally, I had a (strange) conflict with my 2-month-new autism-counselor last Thursday, in which she lost controll and started raging against me. She had no reason for this, other than the fact that my official feedbackform struck a nerve (but I can assure you that my feedback was polite and I kept it dignified.) Her response was to stamp her feet, scream that I was just an arrogant person that used their autism to get help for things I could already do. She raged for two hours, refusing to write down my feedback, calling it 'a bucket of shit' and, with a breaking voice she shouted that I was just a very mean person that wanted to get her 'under me' and that I was trying to 'put her under me like a servant" and that I should show some damn respect. (I can assure you, I had been walking on eggshells since the day she came into the house. Did I mention she was a former cop? She's been a cop for decades, she's never worked with autistic people before.) Either way my point was that, as soon as she started screaming I was a disrespectful, arrogant person (and refused to explain why she could call me arrogant, if disrespect was frowned upon here) I told her to leave my house. Because I live here on my own, and she only visits once a week. She refused to leave, but I got up, opened the door calmly and asked her again, to leave. As soon as I included her name in the request, she (tauntingly slowly) packed her items and slow-mo walked to the door. It didn't seem like a lot, but I closed the door and cried about it later. I was so damn proud of myself. It is my house, and she'd been crossing boundaries since she walked in 2 months ago, actively mocking me, intimidating me, demanding to see the content of bags or cabinets (again, she was a cop) and laughing whenever I shared personal issues, amongst those, the story of my ex. And I ofcourse, was constantly shifting between blaming myself and wanting to stand up for myself. So, this was the boundary. And I am very proud for removing her from my house, haha. I will not let myself get treated like that again. Either way, I keep oversharing, I guess that's a side-effect to the therapy, I should get that under controll soon, haha. Thanks for your message, I'm doing better each day ^_^ Have a good week!
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