Comments by "Regulus" (@xXx_Regulus_xXx) on "The Shame of Adult Virgins and their Identity Crisis" video.

I think the biggest reason virgin is used as an insult is that the ability to relate to a romantic partner is a very important developmental milestone, and someone who can't get along with others well enough to make it happen when we're physically and mentally compelled to can be a red flag in an adult. social norms like waiting until marriage used to give people kind of a grace period so it didn't create as much anxiety, and it also gave people leave to be more picky instead of one's first time being something you just did to get it over with. just some thoughts. Edit: thanks for the quality replies, everyone. I hoped this would spark a little discussion and you didn't let me down :yougotthis:
335
@YoUtUbEhAnDlEsArEgReAt to be fair, religion in general was the norm pretty much globally. That said, I'm not trying to force it down anyone's throat, I'm just proposing voluntary, conscious celibacy as an alternative for people who are still virgins and hyperfixate on it. Not trying to convert anyone, I just think we've lost a useful social convention seeing as this is an upsetting issue for a lot of people.
14
@ada5851 this describes somebody I used to know perfectly. Very impressionable even to this day, hung out with people much older than him, lost his virginity sometime in HS, and still has complexes about women and intimacy in his mid-20s. He's also got a strong preference for women who are around the same age as the young woman who he first had sex with at his current age. I don't think of myself as a prude, I've been having sex with a long-term partner outside of formal marriage for years, but I've noticed some people go a little bit funny in the head if things go sideways in their intimate relationships.
10
@JonathanTash you're right about that, I didn't mean to imply marriage is going to magically fix anybody. Definitely didn't happen with my parents who have been divorced for about 10 years now. In my original comment I tried to lay out the good faith reasons someone might be skeptical of a virgin past a certain age (even if the reasoning is a little bit superficial but we all gotta use heuristics here and there to get by), and then I explained why (imo) abstinence ought to be seen as a real option for people who want it and not automatically just a cope.
6
@StochasticUniverse false equivalence is cringe and intellectually dishonest. if you want a serious reply from me you're welcome to try again without talking like you've had a lobotomy.
1