Comments by "KGS" (@kgs2280) on "Lisa Bilyeu"
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@DiamondsRexpensive Amen! This is so spot on! The way our society is set up (primarily by men), poor/single women practically “have to” get married just to get by financially in life. That was the case with me. All I wanted was to have my own house (ha! What a fantasy that was!), or just my own nice apartment and not have to put up with roommates or even with a husband if I didn’t want to get married. One time, I got that, for a short time (months, not years) a tiny little studio apartment and it was almost heaven to me even though it wasn’t much at all. But, I had to work two jobs just to pay the rent and the bills and also be able to eat! Men (and the “traditional” women who support the Patriarchy) have set things up that way, pay women less and make life harder for them if they don’t want to “settle down” (how appropriate that phrase is. I don’t want to settle for just anything, and I don’t want my SELF, my power or independence to go down!), all the while telling young (or even older) women to find a man to “take care” of them (and who ends up doing the most “taking care” of whom in a marriage?!) But it was so hard and so exhausting trying to get by that when some “great guy” came along and said all the right words and did all the right things, I gave in because I felt like life was just too hard for a single woman, and, after all, he was a “great guy”, and life would be easier if I just went ahead and got married, so I did. Well, many of you already know how that worked out, because it’s exactly how it works out for far, far too many of us). I always say that once a man does the “hard work” of being wonderful and sweeping you off your feet then he gets the license and says “I do”, after a couple of years (or sooner) he reverts back into the man he really is, and it isn’t so great after all. I was so determined to make it work that I stayed for ten years, which was at least five years too long (more like seven or eight to tell the truth). I think men must set society up this way because they’re so afraid that if they didn’t, we really wouldn’t want them at all, and it’s much easier (for them) to entrap us than to do the work of making themselves into actual great men, or even just really good. Just my theory, but it’s the story of my life, and I know it’s the story of many, many, far too many, other women as well.
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@greaterishe7197 I’m always happy when some women make it, but I think ALL women should be given more opportunities (like men have) to make it. Not to be better than them, just to have equal opportunities. We can do the work if given the opportunities. And I’m probably quite a bit older than you, and women were very discouraged from getting ahead on their own. I had two years of university (and it was still relatively a new thing for women to go to college at that time. People actually asked me if I was going to college to get a Mrs. degree, meaning to find a husband!), but the Federal government changed the finance system (saying that my father could afford to pay for my education, as I was not yet 21, but he refused to offer a dime for that, so I had to drop out, even though I had a work-study job on campus in addition to a loan, so, of course, I then also had student debt to pay off as well). I was also NEVER, not once, offered more than a minimum wage, even when I asked for or demanded it, no matter what job I applied for, until I was almost 50. And I did also work to raise my skill levels, even going to trade schools and getting several certifications as well as an A.S. degree, but it never seemed to make a difference, or certainly not much. Not to mention that two of my “careers” ended when the internet came into being. Other than age and societal changes or even familial assistance, I don’t know how you managed to do so much better than me when I didn’t even have children to support, unless, of course, I’m just an AH no employer wanted to give an equal chance to. And, yes, I’ve meditated on that, but I always strived to be a good person and treat other people with respect (maybe THAT was the problem?!). So, I don’t know, but I do know that my situation was not unique at that time in the U.S.
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