Comments by "" (@A86) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. Sounds more like Hillary.
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  2. Actually this almost happened for real. After Michael Jackson died there were so many people around the world on the Internet searching for all things MJ-related that the Internet was under immense strain and slowed way down for many people.
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  3. "Thank you Obama, you're a godsend." Obama keeping jobs over here is better than keeping no jobs at all. Reagan and Clinton were the ones who got this "let's outsource our jobs" shit rolling.
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  4. That's probably how all presidents for the past 35 years have been elected. They're all owned by the same interests anyway. Both parties.
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  5. I fell out of my damn chair laughing as soon as I saw the title of this video. Lol!
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  6. Exactly. Africa's economy is struggling (well, not all of it but a lot/most of it) because the US and the EU use Africa along with other developing regions as warehouses of cheap labor and resources. If Africa ever takes control of its labor markets and resources the West would have only two options: start treating them as an equal trade partner or watch their supply of cheap imports and outsourced industry dwindle.
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  7. Lol, if they get desperate enough they might actually try this.
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  8. The Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone has been President ever since JFK was assassinated. Every 4 years they just hold a charade to give the public the illusion that it changed appearance.
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  9. You do realize the main source of the deficit is the War? Insanely larger deficit? Obama has spent $2.7 Trillion so far. Bush spent $11.5 Trillion. When Obama spends as much as Bush then we can talk.
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  10. He claimed ACORN was going to receive billions of dollars and they weren't. They've made a whopping $23 million since 1994. Less than the Salvation Army. Don't let that EEEVIL Acorn Illuminati get you! He claims the SEIU is behind just about everything but never offers evidence. Ironically most of his fans had never even heard of either of these organizations prior to 2008. Glenn Beck should be an embarrassment for conservatives.
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  11. No he didn't: mediamatters (dot) org / research / 200909020004 Sean Hannity (who started this rumor) is distorting an article.
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  12. Lol, "Onionheads". Is that what they're calling us Onion viewers now? Rofl.
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  13. Sadly that map of Africa pretty much represents the average American's (of all races) knowledge of Africa.
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  14. So far Obama has spent about $2.7 Trillion (Bush spent $3.1 Trillion in just six months). $23 Trillion refers to all the potential assets, stocks and bonds of the corporations bailed out that they have in the global economy. Not the amount of money they were given.
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  15. WHY OH WHY couldn't Glenn Beck have been on that planet that crashed today and killed Ted Stevens?
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  16. It is ridiculous isn't it? I'm 23 and I'm always a bit baffled by how grown-ass adults who are 2 to 3 times older than me can actually fall for this crap. Anyone with at least a brain stem can see the logical holes in his "airtight theories". His "theories" are like a bad spoof of Stephen Colbert's "The DaColbert Code" except Beck appears to be serious. But his audience isn't rational. Their world is coming apart and they want to blame anyone but themselves.
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  17. Lol, Friendster. What civilization?
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  18. If only it had been Glenn Beck that died yesterday instead of Amy Winehouse. I wish Glenn Beck would take Justin Bieber along with him!
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  19. Exactly. Even though I don't care for his ideology I'd have more respect for him if he weren't so dishonest. Most of what he says is nonsensical conspiracy theories that he makes up on the spot. Like accusing NBC of being Communists because they're in a building with a piece of artwork made by an artist who was a communist because it was put there by Rockefeller (who he then accused of being a communist). Seriously. The world's biggest capitalist is a communist for owning a piece of art? WTF?
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  20. Dude..........I would so eat ALL of those....
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  21. Well, $23 Trillion is how much could possibly be lost were all those corporations to fail. The actual bill doesn't agree to cover all their losses. Most economists agree the possibility of them losing all that is very, very remote. I know the Dems supported the war (and the Patriot Act), I can't stand either party. IMHO the election should have been between Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul.
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  22. They're needed elsewhere like Lechnya.
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  23. Lol, that map of Africa is pretty much about how much many Americans know about Africa unfortunately.
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  24. Idi Amin and Mubuto Sese Seko were both backed by the West as bulwarks against communism in Africa. Mubuto is actually believed to have been inserted by the CIA itself after the mysterious assassination of former democratically-elected socialist president Lumumba. Idi Amin was supported by the US against Obote until he went crazy. The US government has backed many dictators before.
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  25. Rid Congress of gang members? You'd have to get rid of 99% of Congresspersons.
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  26. Is it just me or does that Congolese economist look like Gary Coleman 10-15 years from now?
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  27. "Thats probably good compared to the rest of Africa" Less than 5% of Africans in total have AIDS.
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  28. Lol, this is nothing new. 99% of US politicians ARE robots and almost all US presidents in modern history have been Manchurian Candidates.
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  29. True but conservatives were the same way about Bush. I was called "anti-American" like 300 times over the years for being a non-believer in Bush.
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  30. I don't know what's funnier: the Onion videos themselves, the comments from people who think it's real or armchair political scientists with Ph.Ds from the University of Mom's Computer arguing politics on YouTube.
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  31. "From my point of view (Europe) looks like the biggest racists in the USA are the black guys." That's just opinion. Every group claims the other group is more racist. It's word against word and there's no way to quantitatively measure which group is more racist.
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  32. Such as what?
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  33. @ahhhhjjjj - That's my ideal world. Sounds sorta anarcho-communistic.
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  34. @p0rcelaing0d - .........Wha?
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  35. This is kind of racist but it's funny. Sorry. I'm black and I've laughed at jokes about black athletes running fast because their ancestors are supposedly used to running from cheetahs.
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  36. 1) I didn't say this video was real, dumbass. I know what The Onion is. 2) I didn't say there is a central hub. No shit. 3) Even though the Internet has no "central hub" of course it was backed up by all the traffic after MJ's death. This wasn't just some shit on Twitter. This was in the Wall Street Journal: blogs (dot) wsj (dot) com/ digits/ 2009/ 06/ 26/ the - day - the - internet - almost - died / Instead of hauling off and calling names why don't you ask me what I meant next time?
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  37. Roman Polanski's ancestor.
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  38. I wonder if any schizophrenic people saw this and if so I wonder what they thought. I also wonder what any of them who see this video and read this comment think about the fact that I'm behind them right now and that I'm in their head while they sleep. ˙ɹǝpɹo plɹoʍ ʍǝu ǝɥʇ ǝɹoɟǝq ʍoq ˙sʇɥƃnoɥʇ ɹnoʎ ǝǝs uɐɔ sǝʇɐılıɟɟɐ lǝʇuıoɔ ʎɯ
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  39. Storyline made sense? How does an extremely high tech civilization being suddenly destroyed by a supernova make sense? Stars take millions of years to go supernova, not weeks.
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  40. I just noticed that @ 1:15 there's a sign above the kid's head that says "He's actually a boy" LMAO!!
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  41. Sad. Seems like a lot of the American people care more about corporations than they care about their own selves. And what's even sadder is that the corporate masters they defend don't give a dam about them.
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  42. Seriously. If it's okay for Glenn Beck to joke about poisoning and killing Nancy Pelosi and poking and prodding people to enact violence against Pres. Obama and/or Obama voters why is it not okay to joke about Glenn Beck not dying? Conservatives are the main people who complain about political correctness but when their own idols and sacred cows are attacked they become PC just like most everyone else.
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  43. Exactly. ;)
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  44. Does anyone know if fire speaks English?
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  45. Lol, true. True.
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  46. In other news Jerry Sandusky offered to give 12-year old boys testicular exams......
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  47. "True enough, but it's a lot better than some Commie owning all their asses." Corporate masters, bureaucratic masters - same shit.
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  48. Can you list what he has fucked up so far?
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  49. This must be what the world feels like to Fox News viewers. At least the way they carry on about Obama and everything to the left of Bush.
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  50. Well, we'll have to see. Maybe the sane Americans are ready for more control over their own lives and sick of the status quo but apparently a nice percentage are also batshit crazy and fighting to bring back the Bush years.
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  51. This is The Onion. They make fun of everything. I'm pretty sure you don't care about them making fun of Obama. Get over it. Beck talks shit about everyone else so we can talk shit about him.
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  52. It's not like they haven't been trying. Every time they elected decent presidents the CIA or European agencies sent in hit teams to assassinate them and replace them with puppet dictators who would preserve the order of African resources being controlled by Western companies. Mubuto Sese Seko and Idi Amin being one of the most egregious examples.
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  53. *sigh* I was being facetious if you couldn't tell. *facepalm*
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  54. "Blagojevich compares himself to Martin Luther King, Jr., citing famous 'I have a fucking gold mine and I'm not letting it go for free' speech" LMAO! XD
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  55. Lol @ the Glenn Beck fans getting their panties in a bunch. I bet these same people laughed at The Onion videos that made fun of Pres. Obama. Lighten the fuck up. It's The Onion. They take the piss out of everyone. Eventually they're going to take your idol(s) and sacred cow(s) to the slaughterhouse too.
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  56. "The geographical map, or the political map?" Both. Sadly, the average American probably couldn't list 15 African countries. Let alone tell you anything about the countries politically.
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  57. Fact: PETA kills 97% of the animals they "rescue". Fuck PETA.
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  58. Even sadder is that 30% of Americans take this crap seriously. I don't even think Beck seriously believes what he says. He says it because he knows there's a niche market for crazy right-wing tin foil hat theories to explain away why they keep losing elections. This is why people don't take our country seriously any more. In other countries people like this are either taken as trolls or admitted into mental clinics, not seen as prophets.
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  59. Most of what Glenn Beck said has been proven false. I would respect him if what he said was actually true and not just a regurgitation of Bush Republican ideology. Who even gets their information from a self-admitted "entertainer"? I also don't think it's cool when Glenn Beck jokes about killing certain people or almost blatantly pokes and nudges disgruntled Americans to become violent by trying to scare them into thinking they're in eminent danger and encouraging them to take up violence.
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  60. "you know who really doesnt need presidential security? vladimir putin- he is one baaaaaaaad mother fucker. i feel sorry for his attackers." HELL YEAH!
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  61. @spiinn76 - Yeah, all the people who had jobs in 2008 who found themselves unemployed in this recession: totally just because they're lazy. They just up and left their jobs and let their houses be foreclosed because they felt like it. (sarcasm) Christ. No wonder liberal and progressive voters tend to have higher income. A lot of Glenn Beck's listeners never finished or just barely finished high school.
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  62. I know The Onion is fake.....but........I would not be at all surprised if this shit is actually true.
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  63. I mean, this humor is kind of dark but that's not unusual for The Onion. They made a video about women making excuses for domestic abuse (that's pretty dark too). I guess the reason I don't really feel bad for Beck is because he's openly joked about killing people many times and has poked and prodded at disgruntled Americans to possibly take up armed violence. If Beck was a nicer person I might be more sympathetic.
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  64. I love how Glenn Beck fans, who claim to not like political correctness, become very politically correct when their own idol becomes the subject of ridicule. Glenn Beck talks shit about everyone else, so it's time someone makes fun of him.
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  65. Well of course this is satire. Africa actually has several emerging economies right now and has had a steady growth rate of ~7% since 2000. This is just satire poking fun at the Western image of Africa as uniformly poor and barren.
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  66. A white guy ate someone recently as well...
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  67. Sadly this isn't far off the mark about the general American mentality these days. A lot of Americans are always worrying about some unseen bogeyman. We can't seem to get anything done as a nation (at least since the late 60s) unless we think there's some doomsday scenario around the corner.
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  68. @RaDihauti - Dumbass.
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  69. The second-best part of watching Onion videos: reading all the dumbass comments from people who think The Onion is real news.
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  70. Even though this is satire I think this is probably almost exactly how things would pan out if the Internet did crash. LiveJournal, Myspace, 4chan and Twitter members and contributors would probably commit suicide. Mr. Eric Tipton would have been a dead man since they showed his identity on TV. Nigeria's economy would probably go into a deep recession.
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  71. 1) The election in the states recently were about local politics. Not about Obama or the public option. But it is a fact most polls show 57-70% of the public supports the public option. The Republicans won two governorships but lost two seats in the House to the Democrats. Both sides lost and gained something. 2) Why the hell are you people arguing politics over this video? Be quiet and enjoy the video.
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  72. Gary Glitter's ancestors.
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  73. Notice he's not floating very high. I guess even in space he's too heavy.
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  74. Most black people in the US don't know any more about Africa than the people in this video.
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  75. I don't know what's funnier: The Onion videos or comments from people who think it's real.
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  76. I don't know what's funnier: the dummies in the video or the dummies who think this is actually a real news report.
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  77. And now Whitney Houston, not Glenn Beck, dies of a possible mixture of alcohol and Xanax. Why couldn't it have been Beck??!! :'(
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  78. "smartass responses" Smartass responses? How are facts "smartass"ed? "Name the last global African-based superpower that has existed in the modern world" That's asking for quite a lot considering that Europe left Africa in quite a shitty condition after colonialism and most African countries just became independent less than 50 years ago. But some African countries do have relatively high living standards, such as Mauritius, Gabon and South Africa.
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  79. Then go correct the Wall Street Journal since they're the ones who made the claim.
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  80. How? Because I used the word "facetious"?
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  81. 11th grade reading level? You think more highly of Stephanie Meyers "work" than I do. I think it's more like an 8th grade reading level. I watched the first "Twilight" movie for the pure hilarity of how bad it was. But it was so bad at some parts I couldn't even laugh because the suckiness was just cringe-inducing. "You're like my own personal brand of heroin" WTF? Stupid lines like that (actual quote) tells me a lot about its readers.
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  82. @Imnotyourmary - It's ironic that a homophobe would have "fire" in his moniker..... ...Then again maybe not. A lot of homophobes are just closet cases. Dude's probably as big a flamer as "Big Gay Al" in his spare time. His over-the-top hatred of gay people is a red flag.
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  83. I'm American too.
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  84. "But Africa is still extremely poor and irrelevent" Not all of it. Some African countries have become relatively wealthy in the past 20 years and some have actually regressed, unfortunately. But Africa does account for a lot of the world's natural resource trade and some industrial trade. "Although South Africa is fairly wealthy" In terms of GDP. There are other countries in Africa with higher standards of living now.
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  85. @XblackswanXx - If you're telling the truth, then on a serious note I hope your brother helps put that scumbag in jail. Even if you're not being serious I just hope Sandusky does go to jail.
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  86. @callhelpwnage - I know, it was a joke. I was saying he's so fat (and therefore heavy) that even in microgravity he still has weight. XD
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