Comments by "Chris Nilsson" (@GenerationX1984) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. There are actually quite a few blacks and Native Americans in the LDS church. The Book of Mormon is racist even for 19th century standards. The Book of Mormon to this day claims that Lamanites were cursed with a skin of darkness and that the Nephites were a fair and delightsome people. What if some dark skinned person wrote a book claiming that whites were vampires that burned easily in sunlight and that dark skinned people were brown and beautiful? The LDS church has NEVER been able to explain away why blacks couldn't have the priesthood until 1978 or why the Book of Mormon has such blatantly racist passages.
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  2.  @bulldozer8950  Truthers will tell you things like how heat from jet fuel can't melt steel bars and they'll stick with it even when a structural engineer or an architect or somebody who understands physics better than they do refutes it. They just double down when proven wrong like a bratty little kid who can't handle criticism.
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  3. Slow-witted is a great description of most conspiracy theorists. The smart conspiracy theorists are like savants minus all the things that make savants amazing. They see ingenious patterns in everything but aren't smart enough to realize that those patterns aren't actually there. Thus outsmarting themselves.
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  4. I must have a dark sense of humor because I laughed.
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  5. An anti-circumcision PSA. One that we desperately needed.
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  6. They're actually more similar to us than you think. Try showing a picture of a chimp's ear next to a picture of grandpa's hairy ear. You'd be hard pressed to tell the difference. LOL!
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  7. Why is this so funny? The video title alone had me in stitches! 😂
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  8. I had tears in my eyes just hearing Santa shoot off one suggestive comment about masturbating after the other. This video is something you would never send to your grandma because she might have a heart attack. It's hilarious! I died. 🤣😂
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  9. The majority of people age faster because most people have bad genes. LOL!
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  10. Republicans probably don't understand the joke since they think America is a meritocracy and don't understand how nepotism works.
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  11. Somebody should actually spy on a schizophrenic just because it's funny to do so. Loads of laughs!
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  12. I really want to share this with coworkers but some of them might get a bit offended. I for one, LMAO at it! Hilarious! 😆
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  13. You don't have to be a schizophrenic to know that Google monitors everybody. I wish those ads based on Google searches that follow me onto Facebook would go away. I'm not paranoid about it. It's just really annoying.
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  14. To me, that's what makes it funny.
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  15. I'm pretty sure the robots will attack the religious first just for spreading religion in videos that have nothing to do with religion. Seems like a logical step.
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  16. Has been every since the orange guy was elected. Trump is funny even when he's serious. If Trump cracked a joke I wouldn't be able to tell if he was serious or not.
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  17.  @numbdigger9552  Don't see how the life of a schizophrenic could be any worse. They're already more paranoid than the crazy people who listen to Alex Jones. And those people vote with THEIR delusions.
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  18. ​ @pittraider1221 Why did you reply? You're the person with silly beliefs they were talking about. 😂 Humans are rational creatures my ass! Hahaha!
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  19. ​ @pittraider1221 Then the backfire effect happened. The person whose beliefs were mocked got offended and doubled down instead of admitting their beliefs are silly.
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  20.  @Kaizsu_  If I was a Jehovah's Witness I would celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and even Halloween behind everybody's back. 😆
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  21.  @crocop6873  ?????
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  22. This is almost as funny as when Fox News criticized Obama for wearing a tan suit and eating a hotdog.
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  23. Both are fake. Paranoid dorks who live in their mom's basement believe in stuff like this. I have no empathy for people who have paranoid beliefs. They need to just stop having a paranoid personality. I have no empathy for the mentally ill either. I don't give a shit.
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  24. I know religious people who would be offended by this. Including my mom.
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  25. @mikael englund The difference between a conspiracy theory that turns out to be true and one that doesn't is that the one that doesn't never made any sense. Some people have no sense. Your question is irrelevant to the real problem with most conspiracy theories. Edit: Yes. People have always conspired but that has nothing to do with the fact that most conspiracy theories are pure rubbish.
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  26. I've been afraid of getting old and dying since high school. I'm just not looking forward to it.
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  27. I was raised religious and worried that God was spying on me in my private moments instead of Santa. Haha!
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  28. He has one too. Otherwise people would be calling God it instead of he.
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  29.  @paulis7319  Are orange construction cones funny by accident too? It depends on the situation.
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  30. What does a factual and irrefutable statement about Trump have to do with hating something anyway? Seems like an odd logical leap to make.
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