Comments by "Rose S" (@roses6564) on "The lens of attraction: why you can't do anything right" video.

Excellent quote, thanks.
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@MeidoInHebun You want to sound happy and in control but it comes out the exact opposite. You want someone in a wife role - the easy version. Problem is wives don't make people happy. Lovers/romantic partners do and you don't have one, certainly not one you love.
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@Goriller She views you as her partner with whom she wants to share a life. If you only act as her accountant, expect accountant treatment.
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No, because they don't want that and now they have the luxury to say what they do want, which in the past they didn't. They've been told for thousands of years that what they want is fast and long-lasting marriage, only for them to understand that what thy really want is to have a fulfilling relationship. A woman wants to be in love more than she wants anything else. And when she's not, well ...she's not. You will know.
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This. The trouble for many men is they can't find that woman who finds them so inspirational that she is willing to serve them in every sense of the word. Most men can't pull that off.
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@Prototyp3m1nd Trouble is many men can't be adored because they are hardly adorable in ANY way.
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It isn't - because what woman #1 found attractive in the courtship stage is exactly what the man withdraws once married. He stops courting. If he moves on, he will have to make efforts again.
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Which is why it's important for her to be attracted to the real YOU as opposed to the fake goods men advertise in the courtship stage. They put the foot on the pedal to get the woman (feign interest in what she has to say, takes her places, makes effort in conversation, shows off in a variety of ways) only to revert to boring and neglectful once married. Continue to be who you advertised to be in the courtship stages, much like you expect her to continue with the sexual enthusiasm. No, it's not the same as her putting on weight later on. The inner make-up does not change.
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Then stay hidden and nobody will ever be attracted to the real you. People yearn to be seen and wanted for who they really are.
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@Dingodog77 The best thing ever.
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The joke and the inflated ego is on men because their delusion is 2000 years old. Monogamy was designed to guarantee a wife to every man, no matter how undesirable. With women having the option to eat outside marriage, the game has changed and the male ego was deflated. Here's a non-delusional view: biologically, a majority of men (50+) are basically useless and most women go to the top men. Monogamy is artificial and breeds male delusions. Just bc it's been happening for so long that people think it's natural, does not mean it is.
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@csmith9699 Most men: Huh? (Then turn around and say women are a mystery, you can never please them).
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@alexanderv.b.170 Women DO want security and commitment but FROM THE MAN THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH. That's hugely important. Men insist on ignoring this vital contingency at their own peril. Scenario 1: If a woman is in love with HIM from the start, the parts of him that never change (real, authentic him), as opposed to "proxies" of him (money/status, games he plays during courtship to get the woman, best foot forward which is not the real him in the long term, etc), ... then she will ALWAYS stay in love with him. Not only will she always love him but she will even justify his crimes, no matter how bad. She will not leave him even when it is imperative for her best interest to do so. Scenario 2: The woman is NOT in love with him but she's dealing with one of these options: - she is "in love" with proxies of him (money/status/ trips or other excitement he seems to promise, etc) . When those go, so does her love. - she is in love wit the idea of love and she just wants a partner. She rationalizes herself into the relationship and sells the dude to herself. Once she reaches her goal ( I am with someone now), the truth begins to come out. - she wants to fit in society. Marriage, family, be like my friends who got married, the works. Likewise, she rationalizes her self that he is just the right one, goof father, reliable etc. Bad move. - she simply settles under a variety of constraints (fertility deadlines, economics, etc) even as she remains aware she is doing that. If one day the one who has the key to her heart shows up, brace yourself for category 7 hurricane. Most women are in scenario 2. They don't get to be witha man who makes their heart sing and whom they would feel loyalty for even against her best interest. Women in scenario 1 NEVER cease to love the object of their affection and will set the world on fire for him if this is what it takes. There are even songs about what a "woman in love" is capable of doing and they are 100% correct. Balzac wrote about that too and many others. A woman in love can be downright scary - she's capable of the worst (for humanity) if this means the best for her beloved. Most men cannot imagine the extent of a woman's love because they never get to be with women in scenario 1. Marriage is a social-organizational farce designed to maximize reproduction, child rearing and order/security. Nature often begs to differ since true love is a completely different game.
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@alexanderv.b.170 They want security and commitment from the man they are attracted to. Not S &C per se, from any guy who offers them. This is what men fail to get which Taraban explained clearly.
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No. Just make sure she is falls in love with the real you in the courtship stage - the stuff that will never change about you - instead of the player putting on a game to "get her" after which you reverse to boring, neglectful and undesirable.
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@elainer8288 On point. The sense of entitlement among men is many order of magnitude higher than what they accuse women of having. This is the result of 2000 years of monogamous civilization designed to ensure every man got his - an obedient wife, no matter how unattractive and low effort the man was. This when nature would have selected out over 50% of men, channeling most women to the top % of males. This too is nature but when it's not ALL MEN-friendly, then biology is not so fun anymore, eh. Women are naturally obedient to men they are attracted to and naturally recalcitrant and naggy towards those they are not attracted to. Now watch them ask "then why did she marry him if she was not attracted to him?" Um...really?
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@VivatVeritas1 This is biology. Not so fun now, right? Darwin, natural selection and survival of the fittest are only invoked when they can be used to benefit ALL men. Yet nature wants a majority of men to not reproduce and the better ones to perfect the species.
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@yupindeed5422 You'd be shocked.
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@elainer8288 100%
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@elainer8288 It is not BS at all. It is very real but it is controlled through the moral code of monogamy - a system that only benefits the lesser men. Make polygamy a culturally approved option and you will see hypergamy in action.
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@olafweyer859 But you don't choose if you fall in love or not. When you do, it's virtually impossible not to make the person the center of your world. Some men can fake NOT doing so since they know she can loose attraction if they do. But look closer and even the coolest, toughest man in love won't be able to NOT make her the center in some indirect way. They will just pretend they don't.
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@markiatto_4292 When you are with someone you love and remain in love with, you don't want to get too comfortable. This borders borders on laxity, neglect, disinterest and taking for granted, Why would you do that? Just because you filled a spousal vacancy? Yuck.
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@simonb6982 Yes.
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@oneoone Yes, but it’s easier for most of these guys to dismiss what you said and turn fatalistic. And maybe they’re right when it comes to themselves. Where they’re wrong Is that many men can easily pull it off. It’s just not them.
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@Saint_Darius True. But if you are a hopeless man, with hopeless traits, it's probably best.
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@Pssst.ByTheWay That says women's pools of eligibles typically suck.
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@rejectwokeness1314 Women want marriage to a man they love. To reproduce in socially acceptable and timely ways, they settle and when the unhappiness peaks, they leave.
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@rcortada86 No. It will be her lack of options.
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@blackdogue92 So where are they now?
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@MeidoInHebun Old enough and young enough to know how foolish your cheap cynicism is. Love is for both men and women, the lucky chosen few. It’s the pinnacle. Everyone else is meatsuit.
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@NidusFormicarum I am not sure I understand your point but it sounds like it has an important thing to convey. What is it that you never understood why that is so important? For her to be attracted to you? Oh, dear dude, it is VERY important. It is the THE one most important thing in a relationship by far, with the caveat that attraction is holistic (physical, intellectual/mental, emotional and spiritual), not just physical/erotic. Yes, the woman MUST be attracted to you (and you to her), but even more her to you! Only with this condition will the relationship stand solid odds of long-term success, both in terms of stability and longevity and in terms of genuine reciprocal satisfaction - in other words, happiness. Everything else is a castle built on sand even if that sand is all "virtue" (commitment, God, desire for family and children, duty, love as a "choice" (no such thing), and other socially or religiously imposed nonsense like this. Mutual holistic attraction is God's true and only will. If two people do not feel reciprocally attracted to each other but rationalize themselves into the relationship for 100 reasons, virtuous or not, that is NOT God's will, or Nature's, however you want to see it. It's societies - who wants to see maximum reproduction even at the detriment of individual happiness. So yes, any fulfilling relationships MUST start with holistic attraction. This is not bare bones eroticism. It's that and a lot more. Please ignore ridiculous arguments such as "yeah, but how do you explain the arranged marriages of India last longer?" One must be quite cognitively challenged to bring up that argument. So don't.
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@matteoxon173 Don’t know. I have been with very few men: the first ever I was interested in ended the relationship, the second long-term (aka marriage) had exactly the problems I instinctively knew would be problems but dismissed, and the third, the only one I have ever been in love with - has always been off limits. The latter never changed, neither has my attraction, and it’ll soon be a decade.
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@perpetualprocrastinator Ask another fish, not the actual fish you want.
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100%
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💯
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@Saint_Darius And love has everything to do with attraction, which is hardly limited to physical attraction. Some women are in relationships with men they find extremely attractive physically, but they cannot connect with them emotionally and/or intellectually. That's the kiss of death.
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Dudes!! If you have to exert yourself so badly and unnaturally for a woman to want you, you are working on PROXIES of attraction (see Taraban's video on the topic), not actual attraction to you. The attraction must be to the real YOU which requires zero effort, only authenticity.
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We are at almost 10 billion. The species reproduced enough willy-nilly, family at any cost, attraction or not. Times have changed. Only those who experience sustained desire for each other should reproduce, along with other conditional criteria. The rest shouldn't bother. There's zero reason for luke-warm couples to form, let alone those poorly matched.
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@captainreza1 Wrong. People, both men and women, absolutely love authenticity. Trouble is many have nothing inside and are just a wax figure poured in a mold by their society. They are who (they think) society tells them to be.
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You're setting up PROXIES of attraction instead of actual attraction to the real YOU. If she was attracted to the real, unchangeable you, there's zero treadmill. Just continue to be you, which you'll have no choice over. Your thinking is distorted.
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