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cquilty1
The Onion
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Comments by "cquilty1" (@cquilty1) on "The Onion" channel.

@adithyaa.c3189 Unfortunately it's real.
18
@kaizenweisz2120 Have you found them yet?
12
@JamesonX Not it's not a joke. Sadly it's real.
11
@Jim Brand Why? What's so wrong with making a gorilla aware of its mortality?
8
Robo You're only young once and this kid has every right to party, drink hard and have fun before the daily grind of life sets in.
7
@notsoaverageslovenian Not true. This is real news.
6
@RoyceObong-tu3le If only it was a parody. But it's sadly not.
6
John Robertson Not true. Robins are inherently evil and driven by wickedness and a desire to slaughter and destroy.
6
@hugodasilva4756 No it's not. I understand you're trying to protect people's feelings, but sugarcoating certain things in life isn't healthy.
6
@jsnoopymartinez916 But the snake that killed poor Zach had done the same to the family dog, so what's the point of getting another dog as the snake will simply kill and eat this dog too!!
4
@Slick6464 I did. "mate." And both the New York Times and The Economist reported the degrading cruelty Quigley was subjected to at the hands of of these two torturers, Lana Burrows and Phillip Townsend (yes, they are being 'named and shamed') at Tulane University. And bastardds like you refer to it as a "parody." Fukkkccc you!! You're not really slick at all.
4
@Comrad Vodka People can change and reform themselves.
4
Man Mover Right. Which is why there are 6,000 plus Dominoes pizza locations in the USA alone. Of course no-one is eating this hot cardboard. And let's not forget Subway 'sandwiches...'
4
ken lompart Well said!
3
Parker MCarthy They're called actors. It's a job and what they do for a living.
3
@Paint Swasher Just try to enjoy the funny satirical video without being preachy...Zzzzzzzzzzz...🥱🥱 😴😴
3
@hackman669 It's that mindless, idiotic quest for humans to show how supposedly 'clever' they are at the expense of beautiful animals. Disgusting.
3
@pas5word409 What's as disgusting as this poor gorilla being tortured is you thinking it's funny. You, madam, should be deeply ashamed of yourself.
3
@senny- "actor?" He's no actor. No, this is real and he's still out there aged 115 performing medical miracles!
3
@jawaadal-samad9402 That is not true and you're only saying this to make people feel better and remain shrouded in naïvety. The Onion is a reputable and credible new source and this study with gorillas is real.
3
@sebtheanimal Zzzzzzzzzzz...🥱🥱 😴😴
3
They're such good actors that you have to remind yourself of this fact and not despise them.
3
@andreneal4884 Unfortunately it's not a joke. Why weren't these idiotic parents charged and convicted of child negligence and manslaughter??!!!
3
dogisfood Yes. And everyone else thinks you're a cuuntt. Go away, freak.
3
@jasonmillsom2981 You mean the fattt white lady.
2
@michaelwells529 No. It's not, unfortunately.
2
I have never knowingly ridden or petted a gay horse.
2
@dirkmcgurkin1272 Or giving money to televangelists...
2
@alexcrowder1673 You're wrong. It's real, sadly. That poor kid.
2
@Slick6464 Huh? That's not possible as I looked it up. This is real and this was done to a gorilla. I'm no thicko like you.
2
@anthonyruiz1493 Heaven help us!
2
edias3635 Stallion cum...
2
@jewellyjewell5551 It's not a joke - it's real. All these idiots that tell you it's a joke/satire are sick.
2
@syed.syazwan It is not satire so just stop trying to make people feel better with that fake feel good crap.
2
@syed.syazwan You're just an illiterate hater who votes her own comments up. Pipe down.
2
@madeus976 You didn't answer my question about the poor gorilla. My guess is you're one of those sickos who thinks it's OK to be so cruel to an innocent animal. Not cool.
2
@madeus976 What do you mean?
2
Surly Alpaccman Who is "Jesus the Onion?"
2
@turdy packer Sorry about that - bloody auto correct! "you're welcome", you say. For what? I asked you a question. Amazing what a comma can do:)
2
@turd packer It was outrageous of you to call the messiah an onion and claim he was "dark." But to your credit, you redeemed yourself with a comma and the son of god is all about forgiveness. And calm down with the overtones of rage and violence, you pisssy, nerdy little twit.
2
@turd packer 3rd time now, princess, "you're welcome", you say. For what? Your silence is deafening, angry little one. It's a simple question.
2
@poindextersimmons6812 Relax...
2
@PwnZombie And with good reason. And nor does it alter the fact Fox is laughably shitt.
1
I tried to watch this video...but had no electricity.
1
@e2b265 Exactly. You never think something like this will happen to you until it does.
1
@Rebecca-ys3cb Growing a sense of humor will be much better for you, dear.
1
@kenesys8713 He's a new man.
1
@jaredmayo5820 A disease is far worse than being faaatt as diseases are very often bad luck/no-one's fault. Unlike being faaaatt which is a choice. A very poor choice. And yes - being obese is shameful.
1
@jaredmayo5820 Wrong. Obessitty is shameful given it's a choice, a very poor choice that impacts others and puts a strain on the medical system and a strain on many other things. There are no positives with it and it is 100% self inflicted. Put down the pizza, cheeseburgers, chocolates and ice cream.
1
@ckcharlie56 Maybe it's 'literally' AND "honestly" one of the funniest videos on the internet. The irony is The Onion parodies witless vernacular just like yours...
1
@SaveSheikhJarrah What do you suggest as an alternative word to "sweat" in cooking?
1
@Sammedine Terrible analogy/alternative. Nice try though.
1
@samantha Trying. Too hard.
1
@samantha Sorry you feel that way, dear. If only you didn't try quite so hard...
1
@explosivesnail21 Can this gorilla make a sandwich or drive a car? This is something even the most stupid of people can do.
1
moth What joke? Stabbing/killing monkeys is not funny. Unless you're a sick, twisted f***k.
1
Howling Fox Sports Sure I'm "stupid", "bro." This from you - a fukkwitt that has no idea what a question mark or comma is. And this is real. The kid is a drinking prodigy and amazing. Go Tyler Morgan!!!
1
azmq5real But it was funny so how could it possibly be an snl skit.
1
@dluziond Ha!
1
The most feel good aspect of this wonderful tale is that this good Dr. this is still out there aged 115 performing medical miracles and saving lives!!
1
@SiobhanHayden-s1j These parents are essentially killers who should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. And their fake tears and bulllhshiitt grief doesn't fool anyone!!
1
@AndrewGunner Are you a lawyer?
1
@maggisoenvergifter9631 I hope you get the acne cream you need and want for your 14th birthday, sweetie.
1
@maggisoenvergifter9631 Fingers crossed you get a barbie doll for your 14th birthday, sweetheart.
1
@ididntmeantoshootthatvietn5012 Thank you:)
1
@hotshower695 Try that again - in English.
1
@jaykim8851 Hummussexual!
1
@shroomer8294 It's not that difficult - stop eating so much, stop eating the wrong kind of food, get off your enormous saddle bags and engage in moderate to challenging physical activity. And stop being an angry, upper case posting, excuse making salad dodger:)
1
Hipsters don't dress like that and are nowhere near as animated. Remember - they're laconic and professionally bored. That said, a funny concept by The Onion.
1
@TheLobsterCopter5000 Splendid! It's so reassuring to know the good Dr. is still out there helping humanity with his skills. You sound as sharp as a tack.
1
@Bamblam69 They're also more prone to being groped and fondled.
1
1:42 - Jim barely manages to keep a straight face with that "Uh huh."
1
@greenalien3857 Because she's a fukkccking fake hypocrite who let a snake kill and eat her kid, and is trying to avoid criminal charges with her BS fake tears!!!
1
@ok ya You're trying a wee bit too hard...
1
Zoot jitsu Made me chuckle too. That very serious voice saying it...
1
@madeus976 The gorilla was clearly traumatized. Where the fukc is the "satire" here?
1
@jjeww No-one was talking to you, fuckkwit...and why do you 'post' rather than 'reply' to me, weak coward???
1
@madeus976 Be quiet, animal abusing troll...
1
@syed.syazwan Right. Says you - the fukcwitt that keeps replying to me.
1
st elmos fire dudds Trying a little too hard there, elmer...
1
@sgrp2706 Right. It's a "joke" until some kid gets snatched and raped. You really are a sicko.
1
@therussianbuffalo3080 English please...
1
@VenusWarlords You beat me to it.
1
@usernamepasswordG Yes, they're terrible.
1
@thegheymerz6353 Obesity is truly "Inspirational" Hee! Hee!
1
I love The Onion, but the fatt woman is annoying in every video. The Onion got it wrong hiring her.
1
@zosko1 Hush now, muppet...hush.
1
@Sagarmatha No. It's just satire, dear. Calm yer tittss.
1
@kevin-gd4xg No it's not - it's comedy/satire.
1
@dancalvano8702 But still comedy/satire. Lighten up and take the stick out of your plump rear end.
1
@edgarlarios4718 "must have been all like..." We have a deep thinker on our hands here.
1
@Radojackoff135 Oh be quiet.
1
@jordanmartens5591 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
1
@wordy awacker 2nd time now, "you're welcome", you say. For what? I simply asked you a question. Why are you so thin skinned and bereft of a sense of humour? Thanks for editing your initial post.
1
budleybud... Did you not know this prostitute before she lived in your apt...??? And why the need to start your post with "tbh?" Are you usually a habitual liar? Or simply a fukkcwitt?
1
@sv4996 yes! ! and speaky good americann:)(*
1
@SJ-bi9wu It's very real.
1
dr haveall You clearly didn't cut your chin that bad...
1
@FollowerofDuck His dreams sound like everybody's. You're not the only one that has weird dreams.
1
Slack Pee Got any more hairs you can split?
1
@slack pee Just try to enjoy the funny satirical video minus the semantics...
1
@maclee5381 "and you don't need to read the comments to enjoy the video, right?" Yet MORE semantics...almost as bad as waxing lyrical (and at length) re the nuances of how to spell a name on a satirical video.
1
@maclee5381 In hindsight I see where you're coming from; the actor playing the Chinese ambassador is wearing a tie that was only available for 3 months prior to sanctions being applied on such ties by the supplier of these ties - The Ivory Coast. Yet the interview took place mid way through the sanctions and it's a new tie. In short, The Onion is being disingenuous as to the date of this broadcast. I like how you think.
1
@maclee5381 aka Cliff Clavin You really think I'm adorable??!! Thank you, thank you. That in turn make YOU even more adorable, dear And your passion for endless semantics and hair splitting re Le (La?) Côte d'Ivoire makes you sickly sweet adorable. Thank heavens I'm not diabetic. And you "don't think" ties are made there?? How did you deduce that, Cliff? This video really isn't one of the better ones from Onion. Your hair splitting is possibly - and vaguely - more interesting.
1
@maclee5381 aka Cliff Clavin I'm not sure what's more embarrassing - your initial rather long winded pedantic, hair splitting rant on the remarkably dull topic on the nuances of Asian name spelling (only this Clavinesque contribution from you and NO comment or reference to the satirical content of the video!!) or the airy, supercilious insouciance in your last post. No doubt you could talk endlessly about the weather and bus schedules as well as the soul crushingly dull topic of Taiwanese/Chinese name spelling...and then get mortally offended when called on it. This video is you in a nutshell! Palin at his finest. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxl_rSLu1B4 "name calling??" Ha! Pipe down, ya little thin skinned crashing bore.
1