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Nate The Lawyer
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Incidentally, it isn't being ill-mannered or rude if you refer to someone by their biological sex. You don't owe them the "niceness" of referring to their self-identity, particularly if they use it to harm you.
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Easy solution: Open and Pride leagues. I'm not even remotely an ally, and my Christian beliefs can probably label me as homophobic or transphobic, but it's fairest if you have these leagues available. And if you're playing in accordance with your sex, you're disqualified for these leagues, or at least, you will not be given preference. Plain and simple.
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