Comments by "gnarth d\x27arkanen" (@gnarthdarkanen7464) on "Charisma on Command" channel.

Did most of my "growing up" before anime was popular in the U.S... had to learn my life lessons "the old fashioned way"... also dubiously called "taking your lumps" or "the hard way". ;o)
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@Vikalp Saxena Well... I'm sorry to hear (or read) about your family member fighting the "Big C"... I hope it's not as bad as all that. Cancers can be deadly, but aren't necessarily, even the bad ones... American Cancer Society has programs for more than research... just in case you didn't know. It's a place to start. It can also work out to be a good "contact point" to figure out how to "put back" in case your fundraising ideals "take off" so to say. They'll also know more (than I do anyway) about registering as a "not for profit" and how all that legal stuff works. That will avoid you working your tail-feathers off and ending up dumping half of everything into Uncle Sam's pockets... for nothing. At the very least, you might get some helpful information, and possibly the help you need for your kin while this stress is on... I lost my mom in November, and I can tell you, hospitals and running back and forth and all the phone calls, and family (outside of the area) can make you crazier than you already are. You have my condolences, and I'm happy to chat or message about it as much as you wish. I do YT in the evenings to keep my fingers limber and build my typing (when I can't think of anything else to type about) so you don't worry about my petty entertainments. I'm responsible enough to get to bed when I need it. ;o)
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@Vikalp Saxena Okay, there ARE programs out there... The thing is, they all have their own criteria for being able to "qualify" for the help. It's different from State to State, as well as from one program to the next. Middle Class... This is the weird position, because from this "tax bracket" (usually how it's determined) you only qualify for about half of the available programs... BUT they (government) keep redefining from one year to the next what exactly constitutes "middle class". You can't find out if you qualify for something if you don't do the research, get the forms, and fill them out... Don't lie on your family member's behalf. That can do worse than just losing the help... Depending on how much of your family you can trust, you can move money (bank account contents, vehicle titles, property deeds, etc...) around from person to person, and then fill out the forms regarding JUST that family member, so your family retains their relative possessions, and the member in question still qualifies for the help. YES, tell anyone and everyone who will listen to you about your situation. In fact, there are likely attorneys, law clerks, and program organizers (even non-cancer organizations) who can bring you to better information about financial help. Again the American Cancer Society does a lot of networking in their fight against cancer. You might be surprised at what wealth of knowledge they can help you with... Loans... Yeah, been at the worst end of that situation, myself. I don't depend on loans... BUT you can also look up GRANTS... send inquiries, beg, plead, even make videos and post them to social media... asking what else you could (or should) be doing about money to keep this process going without losing the house, cars, your job... whatever... Loans get paid back with interest... Grants (and yes, there are grants for just about everything too) BUT Grants don't need paid back at all! If you win a grant, they just GIVE you the money. Crowdsource it. Set up a "GoFundMe" with an email and paypal or some similar "online monetary service" for you to be able to use it. I'd advise you take a hundred bucks or so and stick it in its own COMPLETELY SEPARATE bank account for the paypal or equivalent for this specific project... "My {kin} Cancer Fund" named on the account, so you can keep your own personal finances straight and separate from the online Funding hooplah. Lots of people do this, and get help. It may not be all the help you'll ever need, but you may be surprised just how easy it can be to get money for this thing. Patreon... Hear me out on this one. Setting up a patreon page can offer some online service (a little thing) from you to the patrons... Say... a lower tier can get their "profile pic" redrawn by your weird cousin in her inimitable cartoony style that nobody's ever seen but everyone loves... at a higher tier, patrons can vote on you doing a certain song in a music video (whether or not you're good at singing... some people will pay to watch you embarrass yourself)... At the top tier, you can offer some unusual kind of handicraft you or someone else in your family does to each patron who puts this much or more in, along with a beautifully hand-written note of thanks or appreciation... maybe a famous prayer or motivational quote... what have you. These things don't have to take a lot to make. They shouldn't... That's so you can take just a little extra time and personalize everything you do to interact with your artistic patrons... They will LOVE it. In the meantime, the governmental financial aid stuff can be vague, poorly worded, and confusing... DO NOT be afraid to corner someone at any medical center and ask for help understanding what they need from you to file in the requests. "NOISY wheels get greased." Even if you're denied a claim one day in one place, don't hesitate to fill out forms for the same thing at another. It's weird, but the more energy you're willing to put into this process at your end, the more likely you'll get SOME help somewhere from someone at their end. The first instinct for a lot of these places is to deny a claim. In such case, at LEAST appeal it once. I've gotten a lot of help (even as "middle class") with my mom's hospital, nursing facility, emergency room, ambulance, and other charges... everything from orthopaedic surgical groups, to the cardio-pulmonary specialists... Above all, keep your faith. Some of what you've heard and read is "smoke and mirrors" designed to keep people from "gaming the system" when they don't actually NEED the help. Finally, don't forget to look after yourself. You can't help someone when you're in worse shape than they are! I know it's scary and hard... but it's reality. There are lots of ways to scour about and "find" a few bucks at a time, and every penny counts in your situation. I hope this helps. I wish someone had told me before my mom started her downward spiral... Anyways, I'll pray for you. ;o)
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That's why you jump up and participate with the show... let them think whatever they will!!! It's probably going to be alright either way... so F*** it! Play along and have a lark at their expense. ;o)
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I think it's getting more important that we visit those "darker" places as I look around and notice ALL the non-stop positivity. Look, there's nothing wrong with "the power of positive thinking", up until it involves figuratively burying your head in the sand. BUT when there really is something wrong, you ABSOLUTELY MUST turn to face it. Like anything else in this world, it's not going to "just go away" or "fix itself". If you ignore that weird clanky sound in your car, it's going to fall apart and fail you. If you ignore the drip from a pipe in your basement, it's only a matter of time before it becomes a stream and eventually ( a "WHEN" no "IF") your basement floods... making everything worse and more expensive to fix... Why act like Psychology is any different? Of course it's uncomfortable... It's exhausting, occasionally painful, and intimidating. Everyone struggles with these things. Some of us struggle more than others, but we ALL struggle... and it's OKAY not to be a permanently shiny, happy person full of the milk of kindness. ...too much of that sugary sweet sh*t will rot your brain just like the literal stuff rots your teeth. ;o)
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It's worth pointing out that people are hardwired to believe they're right most of the time, because NONE of us can function assuming we are wrong most of the time. How could you even bother getting up, when you're only looking forward to the amount of equipment malfunctioning, the many mistakes you're going to make, the customers you're going to drive away, and the lessons you're going to fail at??? Remember that, and check your EGO... Getting pissed off is a self-preservation emotion, plain and simple. If there's no physical threat in the room about to kill you, it's probably just your EGO trying to lash out at any possibility that you might be misinformed or misunderstood... and thus your own perspective skewed about the "other guy". There's more to Noah's "pause" when the discussion gets heated that JUST to establish his control and prove there's no reason to fight. It's also a chance for him to breathe and remember to relax and re-establish his own center... rather than feed back into the fight with his own lashing out. I can promise you, he's been tempted from time to time. ...and we ALL know how that deteriorates into a simple shouting and insult competition. ;o)
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The trick is to embrace the ridiculous. ;o)
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Ever heard of "Discord" "Skype" or "Zoom"??? ;o)
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On ambition, Large goals and smaller steps... No matter how ambitious you get, you can't just achieve it in one fell swoop. Breaking the largest intentions down into a series of smaller steps is key to making your ambitious goals achievable as well as understandable. Being able to clearly explain goals and steps in a short term, medium term, and long term sense gets you better understood as a leader and easier to embrace as a fellow. ;o)
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You'd do well to study theater. From classical Elizabethan (Shakespearean?) to modern Vaudevillean routines... You could even benefit from checking out street performers as they've evolved their "craft" through the ages. I point this out, because even that this (thread and video) is dealing with a more group-conversation setting, theatrical techniques do help with regular interactions... Right down to "sounding like you deserve to be heard", and not muffling yourself... And you just pointed out the physical interaction principle/technique often engaged in street-performance. :o)
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@hamovic3329 I'd ask if black eyes count... BUT I'm not so gifted in the territory that a bra would make any difference... SO... well... there's that. ;o)
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"Everybody seems normal until you get to know them better." Not sure where it originated, but I rather enjoy blaming Mark Twain for it... Doesn't make it any less true. ;o)
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I find myself growing more concerned that more and more people just don't seem to understand what self deprecation really is... Sarcasm, at least, they seem to reach... like it or not, ANYTHING can be over-done. That seems like a simple enough principle, but so does, "Sarcasm will win the crowd AROUND the person you target, not necessarily the targeted person." {yes, straight out of the video} Folks, I have the razor-sharp mind of a NASA engineer. It's true! I just chose to fill that mind with more shit than a waste management program... THAT is self deprecation. Okay? Nobody had to die for it... if you think you have to joke about mortality or suicide, there's something much more troubling and deeply wrong with the situation. Consider that when you're working on the "Practical Application" part of this exercise. ;o)
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@Michael-go9hm Maybe then, you'd prefer those other rare occasions, where 2+2 CAN = 3 for very SMALL values of 2. ;o)
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@Vikalp Saxena Your "weird" is also your wonderful. Remember that. ;o)
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@kapb4149 Fair and Fine enough.,.. We have an accord. Thanks... you, too... ;o)
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All these are relevant. The worst sales "pitch" anymore is the "hard sell". Striking up a conversation about anything can work. The closest to a pitch I try is asking what you're trading on... Answer questions honestly. If someone's interested, they'll get to business, so let THEM get to the business. If not, let it go. The hardest sell you could pitch won't change their mind. It helps to really know your product. People gain confidence when you actually have reason to love the thing you're selling. ;o)
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If you let everyone else dictate your vocabulary, you won't have one. ;o)
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@Pacna Sesim A "proper implementation" comes in the form of a question. The inappropriate method turns accusatory. It's not rocket science. ;o)
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@Pacna Sesim, THAT would be why a "proper" argument or debate between reasonably sensible (even if not exactly educated) people doesn't consist of the "shouting match"... Obviously we're ALL susceptible to "the heat of the moment" intentions that don't get elaborated articulately. It's the duty of BOTH sides of a "proper debate" to call each other out for "BS" and allow for some manner of rephrasing, even retro-actively. Misapplied, and miscommunicated arguments can obscure the whole purpose of a debate, online or off... AND it's worth the effort, if you're remotely passionate about the substance of said debate, to give a reasonable slack to the "others" so they can go back, and examine where the phrasing or wording got in the way... OR they can even understand where they stated the reductio' as an accusation, "You do understand that you're saying..." (for example)... and withdraw that formally, replacing it with an acknowledged and proper line of logic. "Are you sure about that? Because if we step this way... blah-blah... to my concern of the logical next step. {enter absurdity} AND I don't see where you've pointedly avoided that." (more proper example) Today's debates are full of people with zero patience for anything but hearing their own head rattle. (or keyboard "peck") BUT patience is the key virtue of anyone intent on debating and getting progress. I'll spare you ... no. I won't spare you the extra giggle at me, when I saw "fallacious" (regarding "fallacy" obviously) and my twisted brain immediately went to "fellatious" as in "fellatio"... ;o)
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Interviews with any of the people who are doing this stuff would be nice... maybe get "in their heads" sorts of things would help... EVEN if they're not necessarily the most popular or highest standards out there.
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@Vikalp Saxena Good... I hope the best for you. As for the lengthy post, I thought it fairly prudent to put most of what I do know about "the system" together, making it (probably?) easier to find, and definitely easier to copy-paste to a document you can keep on your desktop for future reference (in the case you have a computer)... I seem to recall an app for that on phones too... but I don't have a smart-phone, so... well... there's that. Had to step away for a bite to eat... (lolz) but I hope this seems helpful... That was just sort of a "stream of ideas" you can hopefully exploit for benefits. Obviously you can make adjustments as you figure newer ways that fit your current situation better (and with new information from any of the org's you contact)... just trying to get you a "starting out place". Above all, take your time. A little patience with yourself will cultivate better results... and a "slow burn" in business lasts longer and yields better results than a "flash in the pan". Take care of yourself... and know that someone out there cares for you and yours. ;o)
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@Vikalp Saxena AND may it bring you some piece of mind, and an eye for hope as you look to the future. ;o)
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Joke 'em if they can't take a f***! ;o)
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@cartelmusicc9565 You're welcome... You can also build up into "Role Play" with a few friends and a TTRPG, like D&D, Pathfinder, Cyberpunk, WarHammer, etc... Some folks don't have the kinds of friends that take to "roasting each other" regularly, so an RPG allows you to use a "proxy" (Player Character) to fictionally roast someone else's "proxy" (also a Player Character) rather than verbally abuse each other directly... It's just another way I got a LOT of practice. ;o)
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@Ockerlord Exactly the point... cuz' it's a joke. ;o)
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If it's really clever, I can appreciate a good burn... If it's weak, God help you... There is no other power to stop me. Grammar nazi's have nothing to offer in conversation. I can seek them out and expose them for as useless as they are. ;o)
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JUUUuust not too far forward. We all DIE sometime, you know. ;o)
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@sibaroochi We have ourselves a wiener! ;o)
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@mhenson393 Good fr you! ;o)
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It helps to loosen up and laugh at yourself once in a while... But it also starts to fail if you push humor too far without a break. Notice even in the comedy club context, he gets few laughs and moves onto the next subject. Everyone has a limit to their patience, so as a rule, if it stops working, drop it... No good comes from beating a dead horse. ;o)
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@chosenone6323 Another grammar nazi with NOTHING to say... good job. ;o)
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People tend to be attracted (in the generic sense) to like minded people... This is part of why a diverse variety of interests and even personal tastes can make you more relatable than having a strong knowledge or interest in a very narrow selection of interests or skills. Perhaps the top tip is to just be comfortable with the fact that not everyone is going to like you or be attracted to you. It's okay. You're just as valid as the people who would be your polar opposite are. If you get out and meet enough people there are going to be some who simply don't care for your company... ...AND that's okay, too. Here's the question you should ask yourself BEFORE you hide interests or hobbies or skills. "Do I really want to attract people into my life and my circle of friends when they're likely to hate everything I like???" I'd much rather have a few truly good friends than a massive following who believe I don't ride motorcycles just to ride motorcycles, or that I don't play D&D or GURPS or literally dozens of other TTRPG's, or who can't stand me carving leather or blacksmithing... or welding... or any of dozens of other things I find personally fulfilling and fun or satisfying to do or collect, or trade around with fellow "traders". I'd go so far as to admit that I'd just rather be honest and have NO friends at all, than hide myself away and worry that I might still get found out or "outed" by someone who knows me... like family knows me. AND being authentic is a major key to being confident. It doesn't matter how much you're willing to change to satisfy others for friendship, either. If anything, that is self defeating. Yeah, I'm a guy who likes cats more than I like dogs... so what? It doesn't mean I hate dogs, or even that there's a sense of dislike or lack of fun for having a pet dog. My cat, Harley, was rifle-broke... He'd point and retrieve, too... BUT only if it wasn't still kicking or he'd come back and sit on my foot until I'd shot it again... which the fam' thought was hilarious. Only downside was the limit to what a 10 pound cat could carry... so there's that. TL:DR? Be honest... You'll attract like minded people with just a little relatability and even decent grooming and communication skills. Chances are it'll be less stressful as soon as you stop hiding who your really are, in part or total. ;o)
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@zalamael Well, it's not like a 10 pound white long-haired cat with a missing tail could retrieve even a wild turkey... It would've been mean for me to even try... BUT squirrels and the occasional duck or quail wasn't out of the question... Anyway, thanks... glad you got a chuckle. Even that it's true the humor was why I shared it... and the rarity of a cat being "rifle broke"... As clunky and rambly as I can get on a "non-sleeping" night, I still try to pepper in something fun, just to reward those who do bother to read... It's not ALL meant to be "brass tacks"... ya'' know? ;o)
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@zalamael Yeah, we should. ;o)
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@zalamael Well, I'm certainly more inclined to share a beer with you than throw a stein at your head for walking into the Pub... (lolz) Yeah, you're probably right. ;o)
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@maxhonig283 Thanks... Once in a while, I even reach around and pat myself on the shoulder... (lolz) ;o)
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@bmg6107 You're ALWAYS welcome!!! Glad I could help where and however it works. AND THANK YOU for reading!!! ;o)
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Hey, it's a good video! It's nice to see you breaking some things down in a "reaction video" format... at least, posing some of the "what's wrong here" in the clips. I think it would be better in terms of quality information, if you could start each clip with the "reaction" part... laugh, poke some fun, get it out of your system... AND then go back over it, more in a point-by-point breakdown. Let the viewers see, that maybe in each scenario there's still a "recovery option" available, so to help build their repertoire for "ill advised situations". Finally, either at the beginning or maybe in a pinned comment or the description (aka "doobley doo") you could stick time-stamps for each of the clips being "reviewed"... for getting back to them and/or commentary about them among commenters who might have something to add, ask, or relate to. Cringiest??? Probably the show on TLC, because everyone SIGNS UP TO MAKE OUT sight unseen. Look, I'm no prude. I've been to "parties" on similar themes... AND yes, the first time "out of the gate" it's kind of just this side of Hell, because we're all used to over-complicating the hell out of creating a relationship, so jumping over that "BS-part" and right into the "do you like this?" or just reaching for the glory is SOOOooo completely alien... BUT, it's what they BOTH signed up for. He knew that, and still blew it... The "correct" recovery there would be to "move slow" and pause to read her response... BUT MOVE! It's what she wanted to begin with. On the Mandela scene... If it's the one I think of... That was at an event HONORING Mandela... SO this guy was literally "caught flat-footed and with his pants down" crashing a party completely unaware. wow... BUT there's a LOT to be said for shrugging it off light-heartedly and admitting, "I'm drawing a complete blank" OR what the hell ever happened to "the brain fart"? It wouldn't be my first time admitting that I really should know but "I got nothing." (lolz) ANYWAYS, looking forward to more. ;o)
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SO... Screaming obscenities as I crash over the table, launch myself into the air and try to split them in half with a very LARGE axe is... NOT terrible? ...maybe? ;o)
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First, no... Lying to police is not a criminal offense. If it was, half the population would be in jail for it... OR haven't you "bent the truth" a tad to talk your way out of a traffic citation??? Next, and more importantly here, it's a bad idea to paint even police with a broad brush. Since a few very corrupted people put on a uniform and badge, that doesn't make all the rest of them pieces of excrement. They're people, just like you and me.... AND the nature of being people is a mixed bag. Some cops DO join up to bully or terrorize other people with relative impunity. Some look forward to the day they get to shoot and kill someone with only papers to fill out like another day at the office. Some actually join with the hopes of helping people. They like the respect and all, but they work tirelessly to earn that respect.... Some people even forget why they signed up so long ago, and over the accident scenes and crime scenes and investigations and murders and torment that they go through... always meeting people on the worst day of their lives.... That eats at you.... AND over the years, if they forget, they get cynical and even mean spirited in the pessimism. "Homicide Hunter" with Lt. Joe Kenda is a good series from a detective's point of view... AND recently they aired an episode where he talked a little freely about how certain cases "get inside your head" and mess you up... AND how different people have different "breaking points"... and stressers. For him, as he discovered in the field, it was investigating a murdered child... The reality is that these officers that start breaking down should have the decency to take off the badge and leave the job when they're no longer capable of being compassionate. Unfortunately, they don't have a good way of stepping out of police and into a different job. It's expensive to change careers, and it takes time. Not everyone can afford time or money out with no promise of success. I've met both the decent and the indecent kinds of officers. So I know both kinds generally exist. I'd even go far enough as to say that MOST police officers are trying to do their job and pursue justice properly. That's not to say I'd defend a sh*tty detective who's only interested in some fictional quota of cases won in court... nor would I defend the uniform who gets his or her rocks off abusing other people... ANY other people. ;o)
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@francescocommisso5352 .... ...um... ...NO!!! ;oP
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@kapb4149 That's either a bit extreme, or a half truth at best... EVERYBODY talks about someone else sooner or later... Might be about Brad Pitt or George Clooney making another movie... Might be so-n-so's birthday and who's invited or not... Might be a lot of things... I try like hell explicitly to avoid tearing anyone else down... even over their own BS... At the same time, when I know something ongoing in someone's life is toxic, I have to warn the people I care about what to look out for. I'd be remiss as a friend, brother, lover, son... whatever... if I didn't. It's not "childish gossip" when there's an authentic concern... AND sooner or later, there are going to be questions about "Why you're not connected to so-n-so at the hip"... AND they're not going to take "no comment"... I believe you'd drop a "friendship" like a bad habit if you caught someone outright lying about someone else, or if they only ever had horrendous crap to chatter about anyone specific... BUT that's a tad different from the ultimate "I never talk about anyone else EVER..." kind of schtick... Sorry... You might think it's a pedantic observation, but there ARE healthy ways (and completely reasonable) to talk about others... I think it's important to try and keep to a healthier mindset rather than attempt outright refusal. It's also reasonable to try and learn to recognize when other people are more about suppositions and gossipy theories or wild conspiracies than they are about even a legitimate warning. ;o)
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@chatgpt4135 Okay... I have my ways to test the waters with people before I let them too close... BUT let's just skip that... It would take a bootcamp, and still come down to YOU developing YOUR OWN style. SO... DEALING with manipulative bastards... Not all nefarious manipulators are necessarily narc's. We need to face that fact, because to assume someone a narc' simply for being manipulative is to open yourself up for disappointment in the case you think you can master the chess plan to humiliate them into silence or running away... Narc's might self destruct upon exposure, but nobody likes getting psychoanalyzed without invitation, and they CAN get violent... NOW... that's over... Self protection is the name of the game. This means reducing interactions the best you possibly can to simple answers you won't mind shouting through a bullhorn at a Super Bowl Game... You can still tell anecdotal stories, just never personal ones. Don't get emotionally invested, and keep even "suspicious" types at arm's length. If someone oversteps, be quick to call them out and back away. Be SLOW to trust anyone or anything. Yeah, I know. It sounds friggin' exhausting, and it is. It means finding your own "persona" behind which you can hide "the real you". Mine is a clown. I lean in and double down on comical crap, even to the degree of elaborate lies and tall tales only roughly rooted in my past so I don't have to let anyone too close without full examination. The Narc's reveal themselves when they tease, and keep the running gag ongoing FAR TOO LONG to be worth anything... AND then I know who I can trust. You can find your own persona, because not everyone has (or can even build) a solid sense of comical timing and relevance. There are quite a few ways to do it, but I'd give you a solid starting point of Jung's Archetypes, and you CAN scroogle those right up. They're practically popular knowledge... There are other selections of "archetypes" you can check out, so don't just limit yourself to Jung on my account. Find a set that you can understand well, and then pick and blend what works for YOU... You'll want something that's "a natural fit" so you can slip into your new persona easily, but something just deliberately different or abridged enough from "the real you" that you actually have to make that conscious decision. AND finally, as was said in "Mother Night", "Be careful what you pretend to be. In the end you BECOME what you pretend to be." ...It's a word of caution about separating your public persona from the inner person you CAN share with close enough friends to be allowed "in" as it were. You CAN also "go grey rock" with a Narc' if they're persistently toxic and invasive. That reduces all interactions to one word answers ABSOLUTELY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Don't be afraid (in front of God and everybody) to reinstate the "new boundary" and the reasons, like "I no longer trust you and I don't like people I can't trust." It IS socially acceptable to stand up for yourself and lay down the "law" about interacting with you... including any hopes of building a relationship. Remember forgiveness IS divine and all, but forgiveness is NOT brain damage. Healthy boundaries means making people WORK to get closer and build trust. Hope this helps... and good luck! ;o)
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If you haven't yet... hell... even if you have mentioned or taken a stab at him before... You should seriously do an in depth "dive down the rabbit hole" about Robin Williams and the various types of energy he brought to stage and set whether being interviewed or just improvising on site... It's been long enough, I think... AND his is a genuine energy about him. We'd all be well advised to take on something like that... or fake it... if we can. ;o)
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Asking for "two tens for a five"... also works more often than you'd like to think. It's not technically "robbery" if they GIVE it to you voluntarily either. ...so... entertaining AND enriching??? ;o)
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@thisisnotok2100 , AND according to Carlin, you can also try "Dandy, thanks..." The thinking being that you might be "fine" or "dandy" but you're probably never "Fine AND dandy" at the same time. LOLZ... ;o)
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Maybe... JUST maybe, the pod-people got confused. ;o)
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@RantKid , Margaret Thatcher... You just lost. ;o)
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