Comments by "Jeremy" (@josiah5776) on ""I Need A REAL Man" Single Mothers Hit 30+ And Are FURIOUS Men Aren't Taking Them Seriously Anymore" video.
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I've been in three separate relationships with single mothers. Yeah, I know, repeated mistakes ... but learn from mine so you don't make the same ones. In all three cases, the mothers enabled the children's disrespect and destructive tendencies by refusing to discipline them and also refusing to let me do so. The kids quickly figured this out and gamed it to the hilt. We're talking habitual arrests and jail time for one kid. That is how far it can go. That is the common dynamic. No biological father present, so the kids go off the skids. Incarceration statistics bear this out. Some mothers do better at it than others, but it is present in almost every single-mother family ... just like a lack of nurturing in the rare single-father families. From my personal experiences, it was a disaster each time. Instead of shaming men, single mothers should consider:
1) You have a child from a man, so at some point you were in a relationship with a man who is the biological father. You either chose poorly or left that man, unless you fall into the rare situation of being widowed. That's on you. It's like quitting your job and then complaining about being unemployed.
2) Men won't step in and be with you because you won't let them do what a father is supposed to do. Almost no man will sign up for a situation where he provides the support, but has none of the authority. The rare ones who do, usually leave when they've had enough. That dynamic is completely within your power as the the mother to change. Once again, it is on you.
Ranting about this and shaming men will do no good. It is already an American cultural dynamic that many men no longer even want to date or marry any woman, much less a single mother. Those are the facts, fair or not. Emotional rants about them won't change a thing. How about taking a look at how you can realistically impact the situation. Perhaps letting a man actually parent your children the way the biological father should? Perhaps understanding that a man brings different things to parenting and letting him do those things? Perhaps understanding that you have blind spots as a parent and work with them rather than giving your kids carte blanche to do as they please? Even if you do all this however, I think the dynamic will be stuck for the next few decades. American cultural dynamics made this mess. Now women and men have to live with it. It is what it is.
Not all women are like this? Agreed, perhaps not even most. However, enough are like this that it is firmly rooted in our culture now and men have checked out. Want to change it? You cannot change the men, so perhaps look at how you can change yourselves, both to be happier and a better partner. Even so, you won't be able to change the current culture over night. You are stuck with the current dynamic, as are the men.
NOTE: I am a single father caring 24/7 for a young child. The biological mother ran off with another woman and is deadbeat mom, paying no court-ordered child support either to me or her previous husband with whom she had kids. She is not in the kid's lives. Authorities do nothing to hold her accountable, just laugh. I chose poorly, so that's on me. So yeah, I get how hard it is to be a single parent and that I cannot possibly cover all the bases. I understand that a lot of women don't want to be with a man who has kids at home. I respect that. These are the cards I was dealt due to my choices and I play them as best I can, rather than try to shame women into taking on a burden that is not theirs to bear.
PS: Just stay away from Western women. All of them. Lost cause. Both f'nism and divorce are ingrained into their psyche from childhood.
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