Comments by "Jeremy" (@josiah5776) on "PsycHacks" channel.

  1. If she's not around, don't think about her. Best piece of wisdom I have received in probably 5 years. I'm a mature man and still fall into this trap. It can really F up your day, or week if you start doing it.
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  2. From my 60+ years of observation and experience, couples therapy can be boiled down to one principle and one principle only. It is always the man's fault.
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  3. Once again, spot on Dr. Taraban. Thanks for digging deeper into this complex topic. I was in a short relationship with a woman who had a low body count but a child from another man ... a man who I knew to be a loser who didn't stick around or help with his child, but she gave it up to him on the first date. Conversely she wanted to make me wait. I ended the relationship for the exact reasons you stated. Give it up to a loser, but make me wait. No thanks. See ya.
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  4.  @ma2000  I agree with your observation and certainly cannot fault her for that. But by the same token, that doesn't mean I have to be on the receiving end of the downgrade, to her upgrade. Personal choices.
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  5. Of course, it's always the man's fault. Expect that whenever you walk into couples therapy.
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  6.  @TaliaMellifera  I don't much care what you think, and your comments about "very hurt" is nothing more than a shaming attempt typical in situations like this. "Who hurt you." You're trying to inject "emotion" into facts. Doesn't matter what emotion I feel, this is the reality of what I and many others I have seen have experienced. And, you're a bit selective in you comment readings.
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  7.  @marguskiis7711  I disagree. I don’t think it is stupid at all. Just because it may not work for you …
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  8. I'm past 60 and agree 100% with Orion's analysis ... having learned much of it through a long, painful process of mistakes. I am one of those men who is happy without a Western woman in his life. I have children, survived divorces and am self-sufficient in a comfortable retirement. What I don't need in my life is a Western woman. The sum total of everything she could possibly bring to the table, even the fantasy stuff that will never happen, does not even begin to tip the scales in her favor from what I currently have. It is my belief that Western women have made themselves so unpleasant and difficult to be with that more and more men will check out of relationships to pursue solitary activities that are now more attractive.
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  9.  @marguskiis7711  Not necessarily true. Balance is important, but hey, do whatever works for you.
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  10. I've run into this type of hating a lot with people who also display narcissistic traits. And thank you Dr. Taraban, for putting so much valuable information into 10 minutes of video.
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  11.  @user-vx1up7ty7z  All valid points. Not saying she didn't have a right to do what she did ... but by the same token I have a right not to play second fiddle to a loser.
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  12.  @ACruz-kq9di  Exactly, yes. Great summation.
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  13. Indeed. Valuable mirror there if one will look into it.
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  14. Most men don't mind being with a woman of lower status. It is the women who cannot abide by being with a man of lower status. I think its great that they have painted themselves into a corner by becoming more like a man, yet not possessing a man's tolerance for a lower status partner. I have zero sympathy. Ladies, enjoy your corner office and retirement with your cats. Your comment "being the higher status person in the relationship is very expensive" is very true. My expenses dropped to less than 20% of what they previously were when I cut women out of my life, and I still live a very comfortable and an enjoyable lifestyle. I am not in the least bit upset that women decide to remain single. Worked out very well for me.
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  15.  @gintoki_sakata__  Yes, exactly. Everyone has a choice to make.
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  16.  @inpropagation  I agree with what you said about risk. I've seen it happen to men too, including me. Fortunately, I believe I have learned over the years what is acceptable risk and what is not. However, risk means you will still be in some danger. No avoiding that.
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  17.  @D402S  I feel bad about the child too.
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  18. Same here. I quit the night club scene at 30. I enjoyed it immensely in my 20s, but moved on to other interests.
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  19.  @MrTimthetoyman  Glad to hear it man! You give me hope.
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  20.  @LOUNGELIQ  Simple truth 👍
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  21.  @PuertoRican-EL  Truth.
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  22. Purity. The mythical unicorn of Western women. I was amazed to discover that there are still women in the East who save themselves for marriage. My wife did and so did the wives of several other men I know who live outside the West. [Cue f'nist name calling and shaming attempts.]
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  23.  @markminister2599  It's mass cultural narcissism, I tell ya. All the characteristics are there: deflection, projection, gaslighting, no accountability, denial, reversing victim/offender role, guilting, triangulation, pity play, imperative thinking, threats ... and more.
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  24.  @GigaChad_169  My mom did similar with me, but not over my career. She just wanted me to be her slave for a lifetime. When I refused, she got nasty and mobilized the entire family against me. I cut them of too. Don't miss any of them. It did hurt at first, but life as been so much more peaceful. The guy throwing money around sounds a lot like my (now deceased) father. These types seem to be all over the places.
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  25. I have experienced this from women trying to keep me from my exploration, which is why I have remained single. I don't like a leash.
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  26. I'm not afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of false accusations, followed by false imprisonment ... all on the word of one woman with no evidence or corroborating witnesses. To a lesser extent, I am afraid of her waking up one morning, deciding she's not happy, then taking me for 50% or more of my assets because some judge declares her leaving her toothbrush at my place as co-habitation. I am afraid of the misandrist US legal system. But yeah ... courage applies across many areas for men, and men can benefit from being courageous outside of relationships.
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  27. Well stated.
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  28. So true. My life improved exponentially when I embraced this. Expecting your wife or girlfriend to fulfill all your needs is both myopic and a recipe for disaster. So yes, focus on a woman who meets needs you cannot get met elsewhere. Conversely, beware of a woman who insist she be the one to meet all your needs. Those are often manipulators who are trying to cut you off from others in order to control you better. Cult tactics 101. They want to make you their cult of one.
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  29. Orion is right. You can express moral indignation all you want or say it's not fair, and you will be taken advantage of over and over again. Educate yourself about the red flags toxic and manipulative people display. After being deceived and taken advantage of a few times, I decided to look very closely at the patterns and educate myself with respect to both my weaknesses and manipulative tactics deceivers use. That was the best self-education of my life. The flip side of that coin is that I very quickly make my intentions clear to women. If they do not accept those and try to push or manipulate, I give one warning ... then I am gone permanently with no further discussion or second chances.
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  30.  @johnbreitmeier3268  Two excellent points you just made!
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  31.  @JoMama123451234  Skill doesn't overcome bias
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  32. @juden420  Give it a shot and best of luck. It will be a learning experience. Try to find a therapist who isn't anti-male and will blame you for everything. Most are 100% in favor of the woman.
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  33.  @marguskiis7711 You sound exactly like I did, many years ago. I don’t want to get married again and risk losing everything again when she wakes up one morning and decides she is “not happy” anymore… so works for me. Hope the same does not happen to you.
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  34.  @user-jg5xm8um8y  I agree with what you say
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  35.  @level_ken5231  Very well said. It turns bad for the man when it becomes obsession.
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  36.  @yasserdaudo7364  Very well stated. Also, the perception is as powerful as the reality, to her anyway.
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  37.  @big6316  Sadly, what you say is correct. There are no guarantees.
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  38.  @big6316  I would say that sums it up pretty well. Nothing is ever perfect, but hey ... whatever works better for you is a win of some sort.
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  39.  @brettconnolly399  Excellent advice.
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  40. @HelloImadamn  I consciously shifted my thoughts to something else ... over and over and over again. It wasn't easy and it took a few days, but it worked.
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  41. I had the misfortune of being raised by two narcissists and was then married to a (later diagnosed) psychopath. That trio put all kinds of garbage into my head, with me thinking it was my own thoughts. I didn't finally become my own person until my late 50s after some serious counseling and in depth deconstruction of the tactics they had use. I made good use of both Robert Lifton's psychology of totalism and thought reform, and also Steven Hassan's BITE Model. In a nutshell, the process is very similar to what Dr. Taraban outlined. It is long and laborious. I am 7 years into it and still not done. However, as he stated, it also gets better and easier over time. Pretty soon you start questioning everything in your head ... not from confusion, but rather from examination and testing. I am able to capture random thoughts that are about to guide me and apply the deconstruction process to them. Still happens regularly every day. For me, I found the best way to reprogram or get rid of them is to set up mental trigger inside my head. I say to myself out loud, "The next time I think about X, I will remember that it was put there by people who wished to harm me. That is who they are, but not who I am." It works well for me.
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  42. I would say it is NEVER good for a man to become emotionally invested. The moment you cannot walk away, you lose and will get played. Yeah, it sucks that a relationship with a woman is a power play, but that is pragmatic reality. If you are not in a position of power, you will be used. The person in the relationship who loves the most, gets the least.
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  43.  @psychacks  Then I will be buying it for sure.
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  44. I fought for a woman once. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. If a man does that, he's just announcing/confirming that he is her servant. In 60+ years, I've come to the conclusion that the best relationship is where the other person wants you more than you want them.
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  45. Very intriguing. I will certainly be trying it.
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  46. This fits 100% with my own experience ... both with my daughter and women in general. Thankfully, I learned from long and painful experience ... that once I stand against something, there is no way in hell I can give in as the result of some sort of behavior from her. No matter how much I want to give in, it is no longer about the issue at hand, but about whether I create a monster or not.
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  47. Did Dr. Taraban really indirectly describe older women as "smoldering rubble?" Nevermind. I took my fire brigade out of the West and overseas. I discovered that I didn't even have to use it here. No standoff. [Cue name-calling and shaming attempts by feminists and their soyboy allies.]
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  48. Wow, this was my life for almost 50 years. Same solution through trial and error. Finally hit the right one. Better late than never, eh?
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  49. 💯
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  50.  @user-vx1up7ty7z  I stay away from them too now, but I wasn't so wise in years past. Dated some single moms and even did the step-parent thing. A lot of the situation depends on whether the mother will actually let the step father be a parent. That never happened in my case and I grew tired being an ATM with no authority each time and left. I've never seen that dynamic work either, only heard a handful of second hand tales where the step-father actually was a parent.
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