Hearted Youtube comments on TellEmBoi (@TellEmBoi) channel.

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  40. I think the term "family" is incorrect in most cases. "Clan" is more accurate. Family would be parents, maybe siblings. When aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, etc.. are involved that's a clan. The concept worked well when people live locally in tribes and clans. You can see what's going on. Sending money from afar means you never know what's going on. The other missing concept is in a clan structure a person earning a lot becomes a clan leader. A person comes to them for money a leader doesn't just hand it over. They get collateral. Own some land? Sign it over and pay me rent for the money I give you. It becomes a loan, not a gift. Got bicycle? That's mine now. You can use it and pay me rent. If the barrower doesn't pay and someone else comes to the leader for money the leader sees they're spending $1/day for the bus to their work so the leader tells them go take the bike from the deadbeat and peddle to your job instead and pay me that $1/day for the barrowed money. Common for a family to have to send a kid to another clan member to be a housekeeper in exchange for a loan. The may payoff a favor the lender owed or a future favor or a payment to the lender. Also has the benefit of the child learning from a family who is doing better. Many times people asking for money have some issue like poor financial decisions, alcohol, etc.. It's a barter economy where cash is only a small part. Living afar you can't be part of that barter economy or become a leader. If we say "family" then you should be focused on YOUR family. I here all the time "I need to help my family". They're almost always talking about another person's family. YOUR family is your spouse and kids whether you have a spouse and kids today or plan to in the future. The $100 you send back to the clan is $200 your future spouse and kids will not have when they need it. If you're a billionaire or never want a spouse or kids then sure, hand out your money like candy if you want. But don't cheat your future kids out of their lives.
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