Hearted Youtube comments on Sue Ribelle (@SueRibelle) channel.
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You said he is borderline or BPD, but then as you started to say things about him, how he was actually and how he changed, day and night senario, I actually think just based on what you said that he has manipulative tendencies and might be sociopath, only those people can act like that. And the thing about you leaving and finding a means for you to be self sufficient was a way how he couldn't manipulate with you so he wanted the right opposite and since he could be a sociopath he played it from the getgo, which is kinda scary to think of. Since you stayed and returned to him multiple times and almost lived with him in a polygamic relationship could have something to do with abandonment issues as you stated, but also it could be manipulation from his side, that he said over and over again that you are worth nothing and you can leave, he doesn't cared about you that are things normal people just don't say, and he acted this way when you wanted to leave him. Those people can be also egocentric and narcistic as many stated which he was and is.
Simmilar people do attract each other, so he could have some autistic traits or an higher intelect.
I wish you could find a way how you can trust men once again, that they are not thad bad of a kind, because you found a manipulator and a sociopath in one person.This video shows that you are still not absolutely ok, but its a good way at least to get it out and show us that you went a long way to delth with it and also this video has its part in it.
Just saw this on psych2go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIRGoZBhRtI
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I was a German in Montreal with 28/29 in 2018/9. Companies only had three month long contracts, took French classes, went to therapy, struggled with my room mate and the Canadian government did not open the visa pool. It was so much stress. The irony was, that a Turkish, a Mexican woman and German man fired me. The vibes were so BAD at the company. When I asked about a visa extension, I was barked at "YOU ARE GOING TO GERMANY IN 3 MONTHS AND WE WON'T DO ANYTHING, NO NEW VISA."
Now I am back to Germany for the past 6 years. Working in tech, permanently employed, making enough money to come back every now and then to Canada AND enjoy it. Not living from contract to contract, not facing ends of visa and work permits. 2019 was my worst year, 2020 got better with software developer job and here I am today.
You have dodged a bullet. See it as a blessing. You do not want to work there. You will get better opportunities, I am sure about that.
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