Hearted Youtube comments on HealthyGamerGG (@HealthyGamerGG) channel.
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I wanted to chip in with things I’ve learned from therapy and other sources.
I Think the key to emotional processing is to treat your emotions as information, sit for a moment with no distractions and name the emotion you feel. Keep trying to label it. Some might need multiple labels. After you figure out each emotion ask yourself why you feel this way. Any answer works, if you truly cannot find why, just acknowledge you feel that way. The last step is to lay the feelings to rest, acknowledge their existence, thank your mind for letting you know then contextualize how you emotions fit with reality. Be sure to look for physical tells of emotions such as quivering lips, sweaty palms, chest pressure etc.
Example: what am I feeling? Is it anger? No,I feel a pressure in my chest, I usually feel that when I am sad. Okay why am I sad? Im sad because my friend invalidated my feelings earlier. Okay does my friend usually care about my feelings? Yes they do, but it still hurt. I will have a conversation about with them when I get time.
In my experience the emotions will generally fade as long as you fully acknowledge them for what they want to tell you. Once you know what it wants you to know or explore it will fade much more quickly.
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I feel like I’m the only one in this sea of people who had parents like this, and I can say fervently that the other option - talking to the kid - works wonders. I was diagnosed with ADHD two weeks before my freshman year of high school, and my parents tried to help me. They talked to me. The pandemic hit halfway through the school year, and my parents correctly figured out that video games were the only way for me to interact with my friends. How? By asking me. They let me talk to friends. The pandemic still hit me hard as hell, being recently diagnosed with ADHD with nothing figured out. I didn’t know what ADHD was, so when I talked to them, they told me and helped me figure things out. Now, two years later, I can successfully do stuff that everyone else can like read a textbook. I’ve mostly got through that dark time of my life where I almost failed every class due to missing homework. That’s another thing: they let me fail. They actually let me fail hard. I got Cs and Bs, I had mountains of homework, etc. eventually, I got tired of having bad grades. My motivation was back, but this time it was from within. They stopped reminding me when I told them not to. Because they didn’t need to. It wasn’t easy. It’s still ongoing. But, as a Junior in high school, I’m back on the right track. Thanks Mom and Dad for actually being there for me.
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I completely relate to everything in the video. Also, when i was little and even to this day (almost an 18 years old) i get really frustrated when trying to do something and failing, especially things that I feel like I should be able to do (like solving math or chemistry problems). All my life I have been told "hes a smart kid, but hes a little lazy", and even in subjects such as math, where I would constantly get straight As and all my teachers/friends/family members would say "hes amazing at math", now I get Cs, not because I dont understand the subject, but because I refrain from even trying to understand it. Im constantly unable to pay attention in class as I get bored a lot and extremely easily and I rarely do my homework.
Sorry for the vent, I really identified with what you said in this video. Also, I found you beacuse of Devin Nash, thanks for the amazing content!
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My partner has BPD and a lot of the things you said just apply perfectly. She had a job with a really toxic work environment and she had a really tough time there. Our relationship got rocky partially because of that, partially because of me. She got another job with a healthy and socially stimulating work environment, we worked our personal stuff out and she was finally able to quit antidepressants. Antidepressants kinda felt like they were just numbing her down. Ever since, she is more lively, active and affectionate. I'm also a rather affectionate person so we just kinda bounce off of each other.
But damn, the part about people with BPD, that they recognise frustration immediately and think it's their fault... that's completely new info for me, but it makes so much sense. Like if I just have a tiring, bad day, she just notices it in a moment, while other people wouldn't. Thank you for this video, it was a really good one.
And for people with BPD - you are not unloveable at all. You just kinda need to find that person who resonates with you and is willing to study this condition a bit. Not gonna lie, there were difficult parts, but it's worth it. She makes it worth it.
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