Comments by "Mark Zuckergecko" (@markzuckergecko621) on "Ryan Long" channel.

  1. This is one of my coworkers, 100%. She dates some drug addict that lives with his mom and has no money, she falls in love, they break up because he was using her for drug money, she swears it's "the last time" and she's going to date a "good guy" next. And the cycle repeats. For the entire 5 plus years I've known her.
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  2. I love how 90% of the people who hate Tucker can't give you a coherent reason why they hate him.
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  3. I have a coworker that's half Nigerian and half Mexican, I always joke with her that she has a partial pass, she could say it but she would have to carry a picture of herself with her Nigerian dad to confirm authenticity.
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  4. As someone who's been sober for almost 4 years, this is pretty damn funny.
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  5. I've always been curious how people get into fields like gynecology and proctology, and I completely understand that it's necessary, but I also have to be a little suspicious of anyone who had that as their first choice in med school. And I wouldn't really want a doctor that had to settle for a 2nd or 3rd choice career either, but if someone WANTED to be an ass doctor, that's a little weird.
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  6. There's a scene from this movie called "Run, Ronnie, Run!" where they're all gathered around one of those hippie self help circles meditating and doing weird cleansing exercises, and the "guru" guy tells them to go around and say their deepest desires. This stereotypical pothead hippie starts talking about how he wants weed to be legalized and free and given out to everyone, and starts listing off all the reasons it would "help everyone", because he just cares so much of course. And at the end he says "and I just want a little bit of it to smoke. Just a little bit"🤣🤣🤣 perfectly exemplifies how these type of people pretend to care about other people for their own personal gain.
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  7. It's probably part of why they're so bitter and angry all the time, they spend 24 hours a day wrestling with all their conflicting and obviously nonsensical views of the world. It would actually be easier to take a step back and maybe change some of their views based on the world around them that they can see and touch, but they won't do it, because they're so damn arrogant they think of admitting they're wrong as some kind of mortal sin. They would rather just continue being wrong than admit that they're wrong.
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  8.  @johnbaker5906  ORANGE MAN BAD! LET'S GO BRANDON!
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  9. I hear you can get an honorary pass by not paying your child support for 6 consecutive months.
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  10.  @connor4169  the left is pushing great replacement theory, Tucker just points it out.
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  11. They always make me think of Alec Baldwin from Team America, trying to explain why the corporations are bad. Cuz you see, they're all..... Corporatione-y. And stuff.
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  12. Not as annoying as the "both sides are bad" argument, sure, garden variety Republicans suck, they're career politicians who just want to stay in power and not rock the boat. But 95% of the crazy is coming from the left, anyone with an ounce of objectivity and honesty can see that. Saying both sides are bad is like getting stung by a bee while you're getting mauled by a bear, and saying "both of these things suck". Yea, getting stung by a bee isn't pleasant, but I think you have a bigger problem than the bee right now.
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  13. Yea it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. And then they wonder why men "objectify" them.
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  14. I'm gonna go bear hunting with nothing but a switchblade, and then get a mani/pedi.
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  15. @Seventh lmao, the irony of you making up some Russian conspiracy, and accusing others of believing conspiracies🤣🤣🤣 self awareness - zero.
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  16.  @rykwon4535  derp derp "both sides are bad!" Derpity derp.
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  17.  @connor4169  where is the proof? Ummm..... Immigration statistics? I don't understand how it can be any more clear than that.
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  18.  @kidcharlemagne1002  that's dangerous disinformation, I'm definitely not a lizard person. Hey, unrelated, do you have any crickets?
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  19. And you gotta love how a man that doesn't want to date an overweight woman is to be shamed and ridiculed as a misogynist, but a woman who doesn't want to date a short man just has a "preference". And to be fair I don't care about the latter, women can be attracted to whoever they want. I just think the double standard is ridiculous. Especially since you can lose weight, but you can't get taller.
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  20. @adamc1937  could be worse, at least it wasn't Probesky.
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  21. These people genuinely think having a different political opinion than them is worse than murder. They're defective.
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  22. And then you look at the difference in results between men's and women's sports, it shows. Most women's sports have a handful of superstars that completely dominate, my guess would be because their coaching and upbringing was more like most male athletes than female.
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  23.  @TheShepdawg9  they sound like a girl saying that her friends ex is an asshole. Just as a reflexive response, because she doesn't even know why he's an asshole, he just is, because he's her friend's ex.
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  24. Sometimes you can even use it to your advantage, one of my ultimate "guilty pleasure" movies is a low budget indie called "Evil Alien Conquerors", they actually use the fact that it's low budget to do some ridiculously exaggerated bad effects, and even tie it into the story. It's brilliant, and stupid in all the best ways.
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  25.  @Fractured_Unity  you really don't understand the difference between fact and opinion, do you?
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  26. Because then they can complain about how hard it is to find a "good man".
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  27. I think the funniest plot twist ever would be if this isn't actually a troll account, it's the real Kamala Harris.
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  28.  @xraylegend2444  he is pretty meme-able, some of his takes have been pretty outlandish. But the other funny part is that for all there is to criticize him for, leftists usually pick the stupidest nonsense to criticize him for.
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  29.  @Fractured_Unity  and yet all you've demonstrated is that you don't understand the difference between fact and opinion.
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  30.  @RoyArrowood  it's always cracked me up when they try to use that "born that way" argument, it's so stupid and nonsensical. If someone asked you why you like chocolate ice cream more than vanilla, you probably wouldn't spaz out and start screeching about how you were born that way, and it's not a choice. Because it doesn't matter, you can like whatever kind of ice cream you want, for any reason you want, or no reason at all. Unless it's pistachio, because that's an abomination, and you're a bad person if you like it.
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  31.  @dixonhill1108  I'll be the one laughing when aliens invade and challenge us to a trivia contest for the rights to Earth. We'll see how "useless" all that information is then, Mr. Practicality.
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  32. Lmao, I have to imagine that's his response to basically everything. Boss: can you come into work Saturday? Crazy guy: is fire. Dad: your mother is sick, she's not doing well. Crazy guy: is fire. Police: sir, you're under arrest for arson... Crazy guy: is fire. Police: yes. "Is fire". Now come with us please.
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  33. I used to think my dog was racist, because she would bark at black people a lot around our apartment complex. But one day we saw this shady white dude walking around with his hood up on a sunny, hot day, looking around the parking lot and into car windows, she went crazy barking at him from the porch. It was then I realized she just doesn't like shady people, she can tell what people we should be leery of. Make what you will of that, considering she barks at black people a lot more often than anyone else.....
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  34. They can't audit all of us.
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  35.  @Fractured_Unity  what does the right believe that's incorrect?
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  36.  @kidcharlemagne1002  bro, have you seen a gecko? What the hell am I going to do to a chicken? I should be more scared of the chicken than they are of me. I mean....... Nah man, I'm definitely not a lizard.
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  37. There was that one about the guy, and there's that other song about another guy. And then she had a different one that was about another different guy. You know the song.
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  38.  @danielkoschalka3955  the very worst that would reasonably happen is the police come and say hey guy, move along, and are terribly annoyed with being called out for such nonsense in the first place.
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  39. That's different, what you're allowed to say in that regard is determined by whether you have establishment approved political positions, not based on identity.
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  40.  @colonless7512  modern SNL, up through the 90s SNL was great, they used a lot of over the top "bad" prop comedy too, which was even more hilarious because if anyone had the budget to use better props, it was them.
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  41.  Billy William  well if you want to dive into the philosophical bullshit that we don't really know anything with absolute certainty, then sure, I guess, but a reasonable person has to accept that a certain amount of certainty is good enough. There's a very small chance that the flat earthers are right, but there's no real reason to believe that to be true, so my 99.99999% certainty that the earth is a spheroid is close enough for me.
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  42.  Billy William  yes, numbers don't lie, but they often don't tell the full truth. But some things are just factually incorrect, going back to the analogy about the rotten apple, you could measure the amount of apples that are rotten by the quantity of apples, or by the total mass of the apples, either of those are technically true, but if someone were to say "actually there are no rotten apples at all, because they're oranges", that person is incorrect, absolutely. That's not a matter of perspective or opinion.
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  43.  @h1r086  but about the only reasonable scenario where you could say an apple isn't actually an apple is some whacked out shit like the universe is actually a simulation, and nothing is real. In which case there's no point in arguing about apples in the first place. Look, I understand what you're saying, I'm only saying that some things are well enough established that it's pretty silly to even debate over it, like whether an apple is actually an orange. No, it's not, we know with about as much certainty as is reasonably possible that an apple and an orange are 2 different fruits. And a lot of things aren't so clear, especially in politics, but that's not my point, I'm not talking about the things that are murky, I'm talking about the things that really aren't murky at all, like the fact that leftists tend to believe absolute false, manufactured narratives about covid and police brutality and shit like that. You can argue that it's bad, you can argue about how policy should be made around those things, that's fine, those are reasonable debates, but when someone believes that thousands of unarmed black men are killed by police every year, for no reason whatsoever, that person is just incorrect in that regard.
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  44.  @Frederick0220  and several of them in this thread are accidentally proving me right.
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  45.  YJT  it's not necessarily that they're stupid, although most of them are definitely also stupid, but the main thing is city people tend to just not really pay attention to politics, probably because of how fast paced everything is, or who knows what other factors. But it's also considered fashionable to have a strong political opinion about everything. Somehow just saying "don't know, don't care" is not acceptable to city people. So they just pretend to know about things they know nothing about. And for the most part, nobody notices, because they also don't know shit but just pretend to know.
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  46.  @Frederick0220  yea Texas people are the best. Given I've never lived anywhere else, only visited, but I've never really been anywhere else where the people are so hospitable and easy to get along with, Arkansas comes closest.
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  47.  @erickradulescu9990  no, I haven't, but I'm sure you would make a killing, the whole Houston area is extremely heavily populated and people use rideshares a lot. Especially in Spring or Katy, both areas are heavily populated, pretty decent to high income for most people, and also kinda spread out where people do have to drive to get where they're going. Probably a prime location for that kind of work.
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  48. @Hugh Mongous yea I wasn't the unpredictable, angry drunk type either, I just drank too much and had way too much fun, ended up doing stupid shit a lot of the time.
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  49. Scott Adkins still keeping it real.
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  50. Yea but they come with the "gga" ending instead of the "gger", it's not the same.
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