Comments by "Painkiller Jones" (@painkillerjones6232) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. I'm not sure some of those kids were "acting"....
    149
  2. You get more sleaze with the "Cheese"!!!
    67
  3. Same here, except he busted me for the weed. Luckily, he's also a damn good lawyer!!!
    35
  4. "Dammit, Jim, I'm just a doctor, not a Porn Star!!!" "Don't worry, Bones, I got this!!!...And I'm also a doctor!"
    20
  5. I think it would have done her in. Then there's the "Superman" aspect...
    13
  6. The old, reliable VCR!!! That's the way to go!!
    11
  7. "The MSM that tried to take over the world" is another good read.
    9
  8. Bullshit. I've seen inside of my mind...The horror... The HORROR!!!!!
    9
  9. I had an excuse, I was too fucked up to even find the globe!!
    8
  10. Yea, cig's were 50 cents a pack, gas a buck, and an ounce of weed was also 40 bucks, but it was Mexican...
    8
  11. I know the feeling.
    7
  12. You mean CNN
    6
  13. Getting an early start is always a good thing!!! Pass the bottle, it's 8am and junior is thirsty!!
    6
  14. We need more "Awesomeness" in our courts!!! The death penalty ROCKS!!!!
    6
  15. What about the ending? Kenyans!! HAHAHAA!!
    5
  16. I think in today's economy $160 is reasonable.
    5
  17. Fox news is factual, as opposed to CNN or MSNBC.
    5
  18. You do know Epstein's suicide was also fake, don't you?
    5
  19. @Art account IT Oh, and running through north St. Louis with a clear plastic bag full of cash is an excellent way to lose weight!!
    4
  20. He was found guilty in a court of law, you sniveling weasel!!!!!!!
    4
  21.  @optforthyname3800  I AM on top of the world!!! And so is the heterosexual community!!!!
    4
  22. @Art account IT Scream "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE"!!!! At a bunch of cops, be the only white man at a black gay bar, hop on a bikers Harley and make engine noises, run through north St. Louis with a clear plastic bag filled with cash.......
    3
  23. I'm surprised this episode hasn't been "censored" by the left.
    3
  24. Unless he had sex with her after the murder, it's only a misdemeanor.
    3
  25.  @StevenSendak  No, they're not.
    3
  26.  @optforthyname3800  No, that's not it....keep trying.
    3
  27.  @southrules  Filthy liberal.
    3
  28. It is.
    3
  29. To be honest, if you were on the fence about drinking, go to an AA meeting. You will sure as hell need a drink afterwards!!!
    3
  30. Well, the way MY sex life is going these days, 1 box might do it....
    3
  31. Well, in 2020, the democrats have opted for the most "brain dead" candidate. Their "Evil" one lost in 2016....
    3
  32.  @tweetiepie551  True!
    2
  33. The lawyers said "NO", it would be like turning off life support.
    2
  34.  @jakes7342  Good point!!
    2
  35. In my youth, I was able to put away large deluxe pizza's on a regular basis!!
    2
  36. They'll settle for some meth and crack.
    2
  37. Raped to DEATH!!!
    2
  38. @Fire Heart What about the Ostrich?
    2
  39. Keeps the little bastards out of trouble.
    2
  40. At least she wasn't raised by Fredo or Cooper!!!
    2
  41.  @christobanistan8887  Don't BARK threats at Aymii!!
    1
  42.  @TimSlee1  Obama sure as hell didn't want to.
    1
  43.  @rawtrout007  Look at the choices he's made since....
    1
  44. They still haven't found him.
    1
  45.  @tchoythao1730  It's about damn time!!!
    1
  46. No shit!!
    1
  47. We need more of this in real life!!
    1
  48.  @yaho5785  Sure I do!!!
    1
  49. Get as many members of the media to take a test drive as you possibly can!!!!
    1
  50. There's a time to kill, and there's a time for unrecognizable mutilation.
    1