Comments by "Gareth Hart" (@tgheretford) on "Triggernometry" channel.

Hard disagree on the idea of waiting until you're 30 or older for men. As you age, experience becomes far more important as a factor in what people seek for a relationship. If you lack experience, it becomes obvious and makes you far less of a desirable partner. It's why statistically divorced men fare better in dating than long term single men. And divorced men outnumber single men once you reach your late 30s.
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We know in the last ten years or so since the introduction of Tinder, rates of virginity in young American men in their twenties has increased significantly. Dating apps focus on looks while people don't tend to look at biographies - and if they do, it's filled with things that relate to looks (ie. 6ft). Self-help gurus tend to posit that the key to attractiveness is resources. Problem is, women have been able to generate their own resources from both work and the state to the point where they don't need men and are now focusing on looks (including height) which dating apps are excellent at performing. We also know that real life dating options have collapsed, particularly since 2020 and online dating has exploded in the last decade, going from stigmatised in the 90s to the only game in town now. Worse still for older men, looks fade and experience takes precedence. In terms of ratio, men outnumber women 3:1 on Tinder but its the breakdown that opens eyes. 60% of matches go to the top 10% of men in terms of looks, 80% to the top 20% and 95% to the top 50%. Attractive men and women across the whole range of looks have choice whilst increasing numbers of average and below men are getting zero matches and zero dates. The reason why you see complaints from women about men not committing is because the top tier of men that women are picking have choices and do not have any incentive to commit. Whereas the men who do want to commit are lower value. Women rate 80% of men as unattractive compared to 50% of women for men (OkCupid data). Problem is, we know from studies that physical attractiveness is the biggest factor for mate selection and that is predominately genetic - you can't improve your eye, nose and chin ratios or your height at the gym. Go to the gym anyway but don't do it exclusively thinking it is the miracle cure for singledom. For some men, getting a gym body could actually work against them in dating if they have a genetic physical defect or it could be seen negatively as compensating. Grooming only improves your looks to a small degree, you can't pass your clothes, shoes or haircut to your offspring. We also know that attractiveness is tied to how you are valued and respected in society. Attractive men can get away with a bad joke and have it laughed at but an unattractive man doing the same thing can have that joke seen as offensive. The former will have approaching someone seen as confident and cure while for the latter it is seen as creepy. The "know the work rules" office meme is based on truth. Single men should focus on improving themselves and living the best, happiest life they can. But not for the sole purpose of finding a partner. Give men the truth, no matter how uncomfortable, and a positive outlook and I bet this societal problem disappears overnight.
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Interesting to see that not just those in the "manosphere" are noticing that we are (slowly) reverting back to a tournament species where a small percentage of men monopolise the dating market and the rest of the men work and pay taxes to fund welfare in order to raise the children. We're still predominately monogamous as things stand according to the statistics on relationships but I suspect things are slowly changing.
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@Louise Powell I suspect you may be the exception that proves the rule. From studies that have been done, in general, experience is desired in a partner not because of the danger of STD's but it's a sign that other women find that man attractive as a potential mate. It's known as pre-selection. It's why you hear of men who get a girlfriend say that they get more attention from women when they are partnered. It's also why I mentioned that divorced men have better outcomes in dating compared to long term single men.
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I am concerned about the concept of criminalising unwanted communication and behaviour from men to make society safe for women and deal with sexual harassment. We know that a man's attractiveness can determine how a woman interprets a communication or behaviour. Attractive men can get away with a lot more than an average man whilst an unattractive man can create disgust, offence or anger even with just his presence (ie. a woman crosses the street in public after catching the view of a man). If we go down the road of criminalising ugly, we will have done to unattractive men what we did with former laws against homosexual people - criminalise an inalienable characteristic. In terms of the erosion of commitment, this is a problem of dating apps, hypergamy and the high value men having so much choice they don't need to commit whilst the women who chase and match with them want them to commit. We know on Tinder that the top 10% of the men get 60% of the matches. Above average men get 95% of the matches. The other problem is that whilst dating apps are geared towards women and high value men plus what happens with casual hook-ups, there is no incentive to deal with this behaviour when the only losers are lower tier men who society doesn't care about at best. A number of mainstream dating sites and apps have successfully managed to rebrand hook-up culture as dating. Women get shamed for promiscuity. Men get shamed for failing to attract a partner. Sex shaming works both ways. An increasing number of men are no longer playing the game of life because they feel that the game is rigged. The only winning move in a rigged game is not to play. What I haven't heard is what do we do with disenfranchised, left behind men for whom adult material and self-love is their only option? If your answer is celibacy, we know celibacy is not a zero-cost option.
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Estimates gathered from people who downloaded their Tinder data and posted it on social media suggests the number may be as low as 1% of men. In terms of meeting people online, that is becoming riskier as time goes on with the social stigma of asking women out in public and forthcoming laws which will make unwanted attention and communication a criminal offence.
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We didn't have instant online dating with an effectively unlimited number of partners for high value men and women to choose from. People had less options, more organic meeting of potential partners and even average to low attractive guys had a chance of finding a partner.
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"Play the ball not the player". And not just with Pearl, single men too. In terms of the red pill, it is the consequence of being lied to by the mainstream media and peers, more than likely in good faith, regarding the natural state of dating. Its brutal, unapologetic and fierce and we are shielding young men and boys from the truth, telling them bad advice, setting them up to fail in their twenties and thirties and destroying their lives. I'm here for the ratio - deservedly so.
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What Esther has done on behalf of Triggernometry is behind Pearl's back, have shamed her on her sexual life and her appearance instead of rebutting her ideas. Turns out that misogyny is deemed acceptable when it is done against people they don't like. I've come back one day later to see the ratio. Justifiably deserved.
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Not bad boys - high social status men who tend to be more dominant, assertive and non-compromising - men who can provide and protect. "Nice guys" are low social status men who have been given terrible advice in good faith regarding life. Unfortunately more and more men are being priced out of the dating market because of changes to society, in particular online dating.
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@gavinwilson2071 Ultimately it is those men who get to pick and choose because of supply and demand. There's far less of them compared to the women who want them.
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Problem is, the dating market as is incentives women to raise their perceived value and attempt to tame men who have so much choice that they don't need to commit whilst increasing numbers of men who do want to commit are left with nothing and blamed for all of societies ills.
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Recent data I have seen suggests its now 95% of guys that women swipe left on.
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@amyb.6368 From a recent evolutionary psychological study that I have seen, physical attraction was the biggest factor of what someone found attractive in a partner. And there is an evolutionary rationale for that. Looks indicate good genes and health that people want to pass on to their offspring. Only when someone gets involved with a person does provider and protector factors come into play for women. Which is why we see so much anger about high value men not committing to relationships because the top 10% of men get 60% of the matches so they don't need to commit to anyone, they have choices. Meanwhile the men who do want to commit are getting nothing on dating apps.
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@Ianopike Yes because while hypergamy is perceived as natural and innate, failing to be high value as a man is seen as a both a personal failure and misogynistic as men's value is based on his ability to attain a partner or casual hook-ups.
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I already did to ask my MP to allow debate on the measures and I got the typical reply on how he supports the measures and how we need to comply. But yes, everyone needs to write to their MP, petition, pushback, sign the Great Barrington Declaration and civilly discuss this with other people with understanding, sympathy and patience - you're dealing with people who have been manipulated through fear and has been told to see your alternative way as immoral, deadly and dangerous.
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Catastrophic for average to below average men. It has been paradise for high value men.
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@ryanbutler4221 Except in case of experience, there is. It is a bad place to be in your 30s and inexperienced in relationships. People tend to see you as having an extended adolescence and maturity linked with relationship experience is deemed an attractive trait for women in general.
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Write to your MP. Pushback - it worked for gyms in Liverpool. Petition the Government (strength in numbers). Sign the Great Barrington Declaration and speak to other people with a civil, sympathetic and patient ear. You are dealing with individuals who have been manipulated through emotion and fear and they have been told to consider an alternative way like Sweden's strategy as immoral, deadly and dangerous.
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@guitarista666 They seek men above their looks and status. If these men do not commit (and why would they when they have the pick of the dating market) they will refuse to settle with lower tier men, choosing instead in middle age to have a child alone, adopt a pet or now we are seeing women engaging in same-sex relationships. Average middle aged and older women are taking themselves off the dating market if they can't get a high value man to commit to them whilst average men are being priced out.
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Not enough jobs and bear in mind, employment is a privilege, not a right.
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It will not work. Women can accrue a lifestyle via employment and the state so she no longer needs a man. If she has a child with a former partner, an income through child support as well. The concept of "beta bux" no longer applies in modern society and anyone who suggests this as a viable option for men is leading those men down a path of deception. ETA: Young childless women now outearn young men in their twenties. Again, ask, why does a woman need a man for resources when she has more resources than men of her age range?
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They do legitimately believe that a man's worth is based on his ability to attract a partner. Which is why they treat bachelors not succeeding in the dating market with absolute contempt.
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@Sam-es2gf Those men benefited from a group survival strategy because the alternative by straying out of line was being ostracised and expelled. Which back then would have made them prey.
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@TheSpoovy Maybe so for short term mating but we did have different circumstances back then. Sleeping around was stigmatised for women, people met in nightclubs, settling was more accepted and you had to get to know people a lot more in social settings so physical attractiveness was less critical back then.
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Hungary did that. The statistics show a slight increase for a year or so before the decline returns and takes you beyond where you started.
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@guitarista666 Men do the same thing as well when it comes to youth as per OkCupid data on age of person vs age of preferred partner. It's all a consequence of technological advances in contraception which removes the risk of pregnancy to near zero, no fault divorce and in the last decade or so, affirmative action allowing women to outearn men which conflicts with hypergamy and the rise of popularity of online dating and social apps which is creating a polygamous society where a small number of high value men get everything while increasing numbers of men get nothing. It is also creating a consequence of body dysmorphia for men as men increasingly get told to "just lift bro" as well as pushing the envelope of what was an exception is now deemed essential (six foot, six figures, homeownership, high status car and so forth) all fuelled by the competitive aspect of social media to be the most attractive and highest social status. It does not help that prominent content creators are giving men false hope, telling them to accrue resources and wait until middle age or even self-help gurus selling programmes to desperate men that are destined to fail because all of them fail to grasp the current issues and how their advice will not work now.
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@notloki3377 That's the sort of response I would expect from anyone who places a value judgement that you can only be a member of society as a man if you have a partner, regardless of the truth or context of the person you're attacking. It's sexist and if it were aimed at a woman, would be roundly condemned.
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Here for the ratio that this video rightfully deserves.
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One for a future interview but I wonder what Chaya's viewpoint is regarding the raising of rhetoric in the last week after a major event in Pennsylvania by her followers and other right wing commentators who have been making calls to action beyond the naming and shaming done on the Libs of TikTok account she runs?
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The consequences are going to be borne by those who are going to retire in 20-30 years time (namely the 40 year olds now and younger) when the immigrants who have come in reach retirement age and birth rates continue their decline will result in that generation reaching retirement and suddenly finding that there is no longer a welfare safety net, their pensions have disappeared as there is no money left in the pot and retirement became a privilege for the rich. The thing is, in terms of "just have kids bruh", there is a 20 year delay before any effect on birth rates take effect. And regardless, you won't see a baby boom until Taylor Swift gets pregnant.
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Forcing increasing numbers of men into forced celibacy with no outlet for release will not end well.
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How about challenging Pearl's ideas in a robust, evidence based rebuttal instead of the misogynistic personal attacks and shaming this video represented?
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Generally when people say they are critiquing the "red pill", what they're really critiquing and attacking is male singledom - bachelorhood - as if that is the misogynistic lifestyle choice or position someone finds themselves in and subsequently wraps it all into the "manosphere" which then subsequently descends into personal attacks, calls of 'radicalisation' and demands that that group are 'beyond help' - ie. set as an outgroup from the rest of society by widening the gap between them and everyone else.
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Treating low attractive men as sub-human for whom their mere presence is undesired and offensive - as pests or leeches within society, bringing in unwanted communication and attention laws which will specifically target them and enforcing celibacy on them will not end well. The statistics show that the top 10% of men get 60% of the matches, the top 20% get 80% and the top 50% get 95%. Just sneering, looking down and feeling disgusted at the bottom 50% of men and treating them as superfluous to society is not the answer, as I was getting the impression from Perry at the end. The thing is, she won't be alone if she does think that.
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I don't think people realise the consequence that automation and AI will have on society. Bearing in mind that employment is a privilege, not a right. And machines, robots and algorithms do not pay tax. But then you don't have to pay them a pension, allow them to go on leave, need sick pay, go on strike, have a child or need workers rights.
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Feminists have no incentive of making divorce equal because they directly benefit from it.
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This video glows brighter than the sun at midday on midsummers day.
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 @BH-2023 Care to explain why with citations, please?
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The first thing to do in order to solve the marriage problem is to get the state out of marriage.
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Excellent for high value men, good for women who like lots of options, bad for women who want a man to commit to them, terrible for average looking men, apocalyptic for below average looking men. And its the last cohort who are being blamed for all of societal ills because its easier to have a boogeyman than to introspect.
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@leonardoD81 And she's now getting blowback for not going further. Since events last weekend, there has been an escalation for vengeance from the right and Libs of TikTok is seen as having a central pivotal role in enabling this to happen. If she doesn't, others will and already have from the rhetoric I have seen online.
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There's another consequence - if the neo-puritans succeed with restricting sexuality and nudity to the bedroom and the bathroom of a private residence between consenting adults, what happens to the increasing numbers of frustrated, lonely men who have no outlet? Anyone who thinks every one of them will become celibate monks is in for a shock.
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