Comments by "Elana Vital" (@ElanaVital83) on "MedCircle" channel.

  1. I'm sorry, but if people with BPD were true empaths they would be more sensitive to the feelings of others, and not so hyper focused on only their own. BPD sufferers do have empathy, but it's usually only secondary to their own feelings taking center stage.
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  2. I like that name better. "Borderline" doesn't really clarify what's going on. The borderline of what exactly? Never understood it.
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  3.  @raerae2589  I think that most BPD sufferers don't want to harm others. It's more accidental, and they usually feel terrible after. Meanwhile Narcissists couldn't care less.
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  4.  @melt7891  Right but she can't SAY it, and if she did the narcissist parent would pull the poor kid out of therapy to find a therapist they can then manipulate into blame shifting onto the kid. You don't want that either. One on one she probably validates the kid's suspicion about narcissistic abuse, but on this web show she can only speak hypothetically.
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  5.  a-Tron  LOL no, I don't want to "just see you as evil people", but when I see someone dismissive of someone else's feelings to protect their own egos, I'm going to point it out. I know people who have BOD who have gotten help and are doing fantastic. They are more often than not the most interesting, introspective people you could meet. I've also know people with BPD who refuse to take ownership of their own behavior and they are the most problematic people you could ever meet. This OP is expressing real pain, and you (YOU, not all BPD people but YOU ALONE) were dismissive.
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  6.  @ericking4072  Are you guys seriously narcissistic enough yourselves to assume you can diagnose a stranger on a YouTube video better than the actual doctor here conducting the interview?
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  7. Agreed. I have a father and a sister with BPD symptoms. My mother coached me to always placate them, which made me grow up believing I don't count.
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  8.  @gginah84  I just see so many people dismissive of the harm BPD sufferers can cause because they are stigmatized. The stigma is wrong, especially in the medical field. But that does mean that the harm to friends and family should be swept under the rug.
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  9. But DURING the episode, your empathy is gone.
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  10. You guys are trying to drum up drama
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  11.  a-Tron  You literally just ignored this OP's point of view and made it about how YOU feel
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  12. She can't go around tossing NPD diagnosis at the parents. They'll sue.
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  13.  a-Tron  I understand. But the poster (sorry, not the OP but the comment below it) wasn't doing that and you accused them of "making hurtful generalizations" because they were talking about someone with BPD who can't see anyone else's POV. A key trait for BPD sufferers is THEIR feelings trumps everything else in their brain in a hot moment. That "everything else" that gets drowned out is more often than not, other's POV and feelings. Its usually after they've cooled down that they recognize the oversight and feel terrible about themselves for it. But by then the harm's already been done. That's why getting ongoing help is the only way for BPD sufferers to get conscious of the feelings of others in the heat of their own. It's exhausting and draining for lived ones and S/Os without that essential help.
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  14. Please make a video for children who grew up with a BPD parent ( both mothers AND fathers. Everyone focuses on only mothers, but my father has traits)
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  15. Having a hard time controlling abusing behavior doesn't excuse it, folks. I get that empathy is needed for sufferers of this illness, but your diagnosis is not a free pass to harm others. Props to those who own up how others might have feelings, too.
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  16. My boundaries stink. I try to remember to set them but it's like my brain farts and I forget!
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  17.  Off Grid Gringo  Dude...you just said you cured your BPD but then had a bout of BPD rage here in the comments when someone disagreed with you....Get some self awareness
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  18.  @ladybaabaa  Sorry but that sounds like an abusive environment to me. Maybe not as directly abusive as it would be if you got hit, but seeing a parent drunk is traumatic enough to make a kid feel like the world is unstable and rejection can happen at any minute
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  19.  @oxpulat  So if YOU have it you could be talking BS right now
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  20. "No I am not splitting"<--Then proceeds to do exactly that.
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  21.  @cappuchino_creations  Thats actually pretty common in BPD. Abandon others before they dare abandon you.
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  22. It's hard for them, but having BPD isn't an excuse to be abusive. Your feelings count just as much as theirs
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  23.  Off Grid Gringo  LOL yes. And I'm reading your very typical BPD anger responses here: "I'M CURED WITH MUSHROOMS AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!!" <---Not the response of a recovered BPD sufferer. Nobody attacked you. They disagreed with you. Actually, quite the opposite: YOU attacked first, typical of someone with BPD. You're far from cured, honey. You've just numbed yourself out of having to feel anything, but it's not gone. It still clearly rules your behavior.
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  24. Save the kid. That kind of behavior will scramble a child's brains like an egg. You don't want your kid to end up like me: a codependent chump who feels guilt at ever saying "no" and pays thousands in therapy just to keep breathing. Please please protect your kid.❤
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  25. And narcissists know how to exploit therapy to be used as a weapon against their victims. To blame their victims.
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  26. That's true. But there does come a time when the kid needs to take care of themselves.
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  27.  Off Grid Gringo  BPD can be cured...with extensive CBT. LOL Meanwhile you're only proving my point here. You're angry enough to call the person who dared disagree with you names, bro. Meanwhile, doing constant substances is another trait of BPD. Your argument of "MY DRUGS SAVED ME!" is pretty borderline behavior.
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  28.  @shea2111  Many of the stereotypes are true, but what creates the stigma is a lot of BPD people who refuse to take accountability for the hurt they cause others.
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  29. @Ella Akehurst....what was all that??
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  30. To hear my dad tell it, he was Father of the Year. He'd never admit that he was abusive, but the first time I was allowed to wear makeup to school was to cover up bruises on my jaw.
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  31. Probably majority of people whining about their exes 😂 I'm only here because of my parents and grandparents. Lots of domestic abuse, crime and ugliness in my family history. My research is to find out WHY my grandpa beat the tar out of my Dad, had 2 million dollars offshore but still figured out how to get government assistance for an apartment in New York and a mansion in Santo Domingo. My Dad then grew up to be a rage filled, violent emotional wreck who is incapable of having a sober day without having a crisis, and got arrested for putting a loaded gun in his girlfriend's mouth. All my exes were decent fellows who just didn't want the same thing I do. My husband is my angel. It's the old folks of my family who have me puzzled. Not everyone here is just whining. Some of us have real nasty stories to tell. And when someone is doing things that are OBVIOUSLY narcissistic (scamming government assistance for one) you don't need a medical degree to see something is wrong.
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  32. Are you certain you are truly borderline? You could just have PTSD. They're often confused. But from what I've seen it would be impossible for a borderline to ever walk on eggshells for anyone else.
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  33. My dad's a narcissist. He was also violent and got arrested for beating his mistress. He used the ideology of Christianity to manipulate us: "The Bible says I am the head of the house. Disobeying me is disobeying God"....but as for his own sins (beating us, getting drunk and violent, cheating on my mom) he would say : "The blood of Jesus washes away my sins. If you don't forgive and forget what I just did it's an affront and erasure to Jesus's sacrifice." He even made me do a Christian based curriculum called "The Roll of a Woman" to further brainwash me into unquestioning obedience. If he wanted my paycheck, I was to give it over without question. If he wanted my share of food, I was to go hungry and that's that. Once he even used my back as a foot stool as he watched television, to "teach me humility" and free me from a "spirit of rebellion ". My mother always told me just agree with him and give him what he wants to make him happy. She told me it was the only way to keep peace. When he drank he would enjoy any act of humiliation he could do. He was like a schoolyard bully: spit on my sister's glasses, knocking a cup of water out of my hand as a "joke", raiding our purses for cash, and anything he ever wanted was his, even if it was purchased with our own money. I wasn't even allowed to have a diary. Having anything that was just mine (including an opinion of my own!) was "disobedience and deception, and not submitting to the authority of the head of the house." I once tried to hide a notebook where I wrote about what it would be like to have a boy like me like highschoolkids in the movies (nobody ever dated me. I was homeschooled and didn'teven know any boys. Plus I wasn'tallowed). My parents found it and I was punished for keeping the notebook secret. I wasn't even allowed to have my own daydreams.
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  34. My sister, too! At least, I think so. Everyone always either has a spouse or a mother with it. But it's hard if you have a sibling with it. Particularly if they're going untreated. Is it your older or younger sister?
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  35.  @AB.926  It's so sad, really. People with BPD can have empathy most of the time, but if they lose their temper or feel threatened, that all disappears. It only comes back after they cool off, but then they feel so much self loathing for hurting you, they self destruct. So on top of the hurt they caused you,you're kind of forced to pretend it didn't hurt so they don't hate themselves over it.... Hence why you start getting the impression that YOUR feelings are less important than theirs. How many times have I had to pretend being punched in the face or called ugly names "didn't hurt" just so my BPD family member doesn't enter a week long drinking bender or drive their car off the bridge, or something crazy like that. I remember trying so hard to act like nothing ever bothered me just so THEY wouldn't feel like the bad guy.
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  36.  @lestes7924  Feeling remorse and regret doesn't erase the damage done beforehand. If you truly were an empath, not only would you prevent yourself from harming others (because you can feel the pain they experience), but you have the ability to sooth them when others have hurt them. You feel badly after, but even then it's about what YOU feel that takes center focus for you.
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  37. Holy cow, you poor soul ❤ It's just like Gypsy Rose's story. ​ @PaganღHeart 
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  38.  @JPG_Diceman  They're frustrated because BPD makes people frustrated and he's an easy target
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  39.  ching chong  What's that got to do with anything? What are you, Amish?
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  40.  @jennifermaxine2453  You're kind of making a lot of generalizations but I get what you're saying. From what I hear CPSTD and BPD are sometimes confused for each other.
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  41. Wow...really reaching for drama I see.
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  42.  @thesorrow88  I know, right? They are looking for reasons
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  43.  @joefitzgerald2762  I never dated a narcissist. My dad was raised by one who used to water board him when he got bad grades, and made him BPD with narcissistic tendencies (though Dad does have empathy). I think it's just a lot of bitter exes on here is all, and pretending to have a diagnosis for revenge
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  44.  Sonny Valentyne  BPDs have empathy, but it's not functional empathy. Empathy is designed so that we can understand our fellow humans, prevent harm, and relate to them, and even help when we can. But for a person with BPD their empathy only works after they've disregarded other's feelings. They feel real remorse and regret, and honest do realize what they've done. But it's too late, so it's not serving its purpose.
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  45. I'm terrified because I am always falling for the manipulation tactics of these kinds of people.
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  46. "Don't trigger us!!" You want to world to walk on eggshells just not to make you mad? That is infantile and self centered. The world isn't going to cater to your feelings. Grow up.
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  47. Talking about this is scary! Especially if you're afraid it is going to make others reject you
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  48. It's weird how people need a diagnosis from a doctor before they decide to have empathy for a kid.
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  49. But people can have emotional dysregulation without being borderline
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  50.  @jessicataylor7174  Honey, nice try but that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying most narcissistic mothers or fathers won't admit to acting like a C U Next Tuesday to their kid. And they get really good at making themselves the victim. 😉 Nice try at deflection though. Bringing up a completely unrelated incident....smooth.
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