Comments by "Sammy B" (@sammyb1651) on "PsycHacks" channel.

  1. I get it bro. But don't feel hatred. That really is wasted energy. Look at it like this instead...what they want is illusory. You'll get passed over for "higher value" men, sure. But they don't actually want that top tier man they overlook you for. They want their FANTASY version of that top tier man. Not the reality. Their fantasy.   Their fantasy version is what they project onto the real person. He's better looking than him, more charismatic than him, richer than him and (most crucially of all) he has NO expectations of her.  When the HVM inevitably fails to live up to that completely unrealistic standard, he gets canned too. Losing his possessions in the process. If Tom Brady can't make it work (and he can't) then theres nothing to feel envious about. You're not missing out. Women petition to divorce high value men every day of the week. Contempt and disgust probably has some utility as a response. It certainly mitigates against catching unnecessary "feels". Try to regulate it as best you can though so it serves you rather than controls you.
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  2. You can abbreviate this message by asking a basic, fundamental question.  Q) Why are women so scathing of men and yet so keen/adept at getting into relationships with them?  A) Irrespective of what they say, it simply MUST serve their interests do so so. On balance. Ie they derive a net benefit. And in that you also have the answer to the question, why, by comparison to women, many men eventually end up just walking away from relationships altogether.
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  3. Most men in relationships unwittingly find themselves in female p!ssing contests between their partner and her friends. Sometimes overtly, but virtually always indirectly. As a male partner, your quality of life is attached to her emotions-and these fluctuate depending on whether she's up or down in the p!ssing contest hierarchy. It's practically inevitable.  The only way to avoid this is to insist that you won't accept responsibility for her happiness. Unfortunately that will typically be framed as some sort of "abuse". Which of course, it isnt.
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  4. Agreed. It's net zero from the point of view of a 'fairer' exchange between the sexes if it's practiced at a population level. It makes no odds whether people try harder or less hard, the dial just shifts accordingly to a new median.  Outside of that you can obviously make the point that-from a societal perspective-it's better if people try harder than less hard. As individual advice it has greatest merit. Ultimately however it's still only really worth it if it's done for your own edification principally rather than to "boost your attractiveness" in the eyes of someone else.
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  5. They want value to flow towards them. They do NOT want to provide value. So the video is kinda redundant.  Yes, it's correct and accurate. But it's not what they want. And ultimately they do what they want.
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  6. Incomplete analysis.  1. Because they marry for gain 2. Because they are likely to break their vows in the absence of (continuing) gain. That about covers it. A prenup violates this strategy.
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  7.  @LARA-sg4bt  Theres a reason you said that as a female. It's because you stand to benefit more if a man gives himself completely to a dream. If a man remains sensible, accepts the reality of female nature and considers himself more...you-as a female-stand to get less. Your comment came from a place of deep existential dread. Fortunately men are beginning to understand how women operate and aren't buying the dream anymore. 😊
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  8.  @somacruz6893  You have my sympathy! It's an all too common story. And getting worse with instagram etc. Imagine being that hung up about everything your friends are buying/how they're decorating their houses. Pretty pathetic existence when you look at it in this terms. Just take solace in the fact that-with many of them-it doesn't matter what you do, it'll never be enough. Once you embrace that truth their constant whining is just ambient noise.
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  9. True. To be honest you'll hear it at other times too though even when the biological clock isn't a factor.  Frequently they'll say it after they've had kids and got divorced. Ie to new suitors. It's just a way to manipulate you into making an impulsive decision rather than consider the pros and cons of her as a partner. It's made to sound romantic-like they're throwing caution to the wind and are prepared to risk it all on taking a chance with you...but the reality is they've failed to monkey branch on divorce (or the monkey branch hasn't worked out). In those circumstances they get VERY keen to secure a new financial sponsor.
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  10. Nah. Tell them anyway. They want you to "express your feelings".
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  11.  @chrisstone2506  It's a fairly reliable heuristic, even if it doesn't constitute an exact science. I don't think we need to get into the weeds over that. Incidentally if you're as fleet-of-foot as you say you are and advocate swapping out one for another at will, you're either: 1. Not married, or 2. Married but without significant assets. Either way, that probably hints at you not being as "desirable" as you like to think you are.
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  12. This video is fundamentally wrong-headed anyway. Women breezily disrespect men all the time but it's not really what is at the heart of the matter. The problem of disrespect is downstream of a more significant issue and that is the horrendous mismatch in requirements between male and female partners. Women have a huge laundry list of reasons for getting into a relationship with a man. They view a man as an endless performer of tasks. Men have practically zero requirements of a female partner and seek a relationship mainly for intimacy. The solipsistic idea women have in their head of all the tasks a man should be performing/ways in which he should be "behaving" (essentially in support of her and her objectives) renders many of them unable to act respectfully. This is because-in many regards-the idea of his being sovereign and independent is completely in conflict with the myriad acts of service she wants him for in the first place. This is women's problem to resolve. It's not a man's fault. The 'respect' thing is dealing with the symptoms, not the cause.
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  13.  @modickens1272  Your point about their true feelings towards other women is taken. I completely agree, that's very often the case. Not exclusively so, but it's certainly common. That's why I intentionally used the word 'deliberate' in fact. They don't always authentically care about female friends feelings (in a loving or benevolent way), but as a rule they are exceptionally careful about how they make them feel, or to exhibit the appearance of caring about how they feel.
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  14. In a nutshell.
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  15. The very simple answer is (leaving all the technical/evolutionary explanations aside), they're looking for MORE than they offer to a partner themselves. in other words, they want to be emotionally supported, they do NOT want to be emotionally supportive. So you have to decide whether you think that's worth it-particularly bearing in mind (if you are a man offering more than she provides) you're unlikely to experience much gratitude for that.
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  16.  @Mastermind111111  I would suggest we need to stop coddling people in pretty much all environments. Be it the workplace, legal system etc etc. Wherever people know they've got too many rights/too much protection you can reasonably expect them to behave abysmally. Just let poor behaviour have actual consequences and most things should right themselves.
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  17.  @emelined187  Yes, obviously. And very appropriately, being as it's an American man speaking on an American platform. What's your issue with that?
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  18. 2:31 a lot of female "intentional dating" is like this. It's not as ill founded as you claim so no injunction for them to "act fast/leap into bed" is going to resonate. They're determining how biddable the man is. For this type of relationship (long term/kids) they're actually seeking out someone who will put her first and prostrate themselves.  They're contemplating a 5-10 year relationship timespan so they're not going to be with someone who won't do as she wants. She only thinks like that for flings.
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  19.  @Zeuts85  What is it about the proposition that so offends your sense of proportion? That it's a "generlization"? Generalisations are perfectly valid and useful. Men are visual. Is that an "absurd generalisation"? If you honestly go through life thinking women care about men's issues you're in for a very rude awakening. Where there is ever conflict between a man's interests and a woman's prerogative, the latter will prevail. Women uphold and advocate divorce laws that prejudice mens interests in the most egregious way possible. Most of those same women have sons. They do this knowing full well the same law which benefits them will prejudice their own flesh and blood in turn. The instinct I'm describing literally has primacy over the maternal bond. If you think she's any more invested in her spouse's interests you're not only wrong, you're in cloud cuckoo land. I simply repeat: women do not care.
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  20. I think this is a fairly logical conclusion now tbh. And I don't think it should be viewed as "hate speech" either-theres nothing hateful about it, it's just a perfectly sensible pivot once you come to understand the reality of the situation. It's also quite clear why women are keen to suppress this understanding about them. It does make them less "lovable" on the whole, from a mans perspective. They gain most from your ignorance so I can see why they would want to suppress the information. At best all I can now offer is a transactional "love" that mirrors their "love" and that is highly conditional on performance. I feel they should be content with that if thats the same bargain that they're driving.
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  21. Live and learn. Most people have probably lived some version of this supplicant existence at some point. To avoid feeling like a failure its worth remembering that the opposite prescription (guy has hard boundaries, doesn't take sh!t, dictates terms to his wife, maintains "frame") typically ends up in the divorce courts too. They might "respect" it (for all of five minutes) but they soon decide it's "toxic/abusive/controlling/narcissistic" etc etc etc. It guarantees just as much hell of a different kind. Make peace with yourself. That's all you can do. Your sanity has to be the priority, not a woman's endless and ever contradictory needs.
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  22. Just imagine how many "wrong" women there are out there. All eager for marriage because they only stand to gain. Truly terrifying.
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  23. 2:28 "Power couple" gives me the man-ick. Honestly, when you hear that phrase uttered, you realise how different men and women are. No part of it appeals to me whatsoever. It's so utterly irrelevant to anything I desire in a relationship, they might as well be describing another concept completely. When you hear how important it is to a woman though it's a massive 'tell' about how discordant we are as a species.
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  24. Foundationless word salad.
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  25. No offence, but you just spectacularly missed the point. The point was that men commit and love in the absence of this support. It's what distinguishes "love" between the sexes. You did feel a profound need to make your comment about you though. Ironically.
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  26.  @davyr847  If you cheated on your wife because you were being "loyal to your libido" (ie your sexual "feelings"), she would have absolutely no hesitation in calling you disloyal. I can guarantee that. Women know exactly what loyalty means when it suits them. People get too easily propagandised by nonsense, including Patrickrada it would seem. Sad to see the content creator fall for it too, however.
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  27.  @chrisstone2506  It was a funny story tbf. Lighten up a bit ffs.
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  28. 6:56 It's less about a true psychological inferiority and more to do with the fact that men are literally hard-wired to protect their partner. Or at the very least not hurt her. Ergo they're disinclined to try and wound her emotionally. Women aren't hindered by the same evolutionary handbrake. They're quite content to wound if it suits their purpose to do so. The problem is (as with most of these things) most men don't appreciate that. They live in a self-extrapolated la-la land whereby-because he wishes to protect her at all costs-he thinks she's governed by a reciprocal credo toward him. She's not. Her loyalty is to her. Just understanding that one basic thing is all it needs to level any psychological inequality of arms. I mean they're REALLY not rocket scientists most of these broads, so let's not get it out of proportion.
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  29.  @ephraimwinslow  Additionally you're supposed to anticipate those needs, rather than react to them when prompted. This is because failing to anticipate them would require the woman to list them, which would expose her as being the incredibly demanding/selfish person she is. It would also be exhausting for her to have to do (the act of constant listing "needs"). They'd far rather it be exhausting for the man instead.
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  30.  @susangarrard2753  If we simply take the example of women getting the majority share of custody, who do YOU think gets the worse outcome? Stop playing silly games.  You KNOW who gets worse outcomes just as well as men KNOW that they get the worse outcomes.
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  31. Absolutely but only expect this to work as a self preservative. It won't be a relationship preservative. They'll be exiting PDQ if you practice this. So be it. Thats better than being taken for a ride. It's reasonable advice, it just won't "keep" a female.
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  32. 6:16 This section basically accounts for why they get upset about you having hobbies or for eg relaxing in front of the TV etc etc. If it isn't felt to be in service of her in some way it's very aggravating to them. Also in the UK we have a term "man flu" which is basically a pejorative term to suggest men malinger for longer when feeling unwell as compared to women who just put on a brave face and soldier through. It's nonsense of course, it's simply that (again) seeing the man stricken is aggravating to her as his productivity declines. Rather than triggering a sympathy response (as we feel it towards women) it gets the opposite reaction in them. Ultimately they don't know how to relate to men other than in terms of utility value. Sad but thats the reality.
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  33. Please be real and clear about what this ACTUALLY means though. In practice. Women who are seeking your investment are a PITA. They are neurotic, constantly requiring progress updates, constantly requiring reassurance, constantly needing to "know where this is going" constantly having tantrums etc etc...ad nauseam. It's good theory (I know from experience)...but the practice is utterly grinding and horrifically time consuming (again, I know from experience).
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  34.  @chrishnah  What a profoundly silly question. Was there a single syllable within his post that came across as unintelligent?
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  35. Accept it for what it is-have empathy for the fact it's an evolutionary hardwiring-don't become embittered by it.  However if you decide to "play the game" and manage to increase your attractiveness through real effort, make it damn clear you're fully aware what you're valued for and what that commands by way of a fair exchange. Sexual politics have to move on now. We can't accept this binary: men=awful patriarchs superficially attracted to looks/women=downtrodden oppressed saints who see beyond looks and value 'character' nonsense any longer. The internets has exposed it for what it is: a complete fiction. Shining sunlight on that horrible misrepresentation is long overdue and will hopefully yield a healthier and more balanced view of/understanding between the sexes.
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  36. Interesting concession. But I sense it tinkers around the edges. Would you go further and admit the more substantive point that women have significantly greater wants/needs/demands than men do and consequently drive a pretty unfair bargain ab initio? As a younger man I always wondered why women constantly complained about how awful men were but then always leapt from man-to-man in relationships. It didn't make any sense if the complaint was actually true. Ultimately I realised it wasn't true and that women were the net beneficiaries of relationships (ie they received more from them than they put in), they were just much harder to please and constantly looking to trade up. Obviously if men were so bad women would stay single, but very few do. In fact very few can tolerate ANY appreciable period of single adult life. You live and learn. I certainly have. It's good to be able to see through female BS.
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  37. You misunderstand. They've raised their value. They're ALL 10's now. So they discharged any "debt" owed simply by deigning to be in a relationship with your average billionaire. Wedges tongue firmly in cheek I wish I was joking btw.
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  38.  @GregorioVazquezJr  I've been told all sorts of nonsense in my life.
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  39.  @lynnferry291  The problem with that is, most women aren't very good either (if we're being honest), but significantly it doesn't stop the men from wanting it.  It all goes back to the same thing. The libido gap. Which-at the bottom of it all-is what women benefit from more than anything else in society.  Women are able to give very little for a huge amount of value in return from a man and men have to give a huge amount of value for very little in return from a woman. That mismatch is insoluble and no amount of food/restaurant analogising can assist.
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  40.  @itzablackcat  Teaching is passing on knowledge. It isn't discovery of knowledge. The discovery of knowledge is done by men. An 'F' for you I'm afraid. ☺
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  41. The opening words to Pride and Prejudice are meant to be ironic. They're the opposite of what they mean. Despite his status, Darcy is NOT looking for a wife. He's actually resistant to the idea and fighting his better judgment.
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  42. True. But at the same time, don't "objectify them as baby production machines" etc etc etc ad nauseam.
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  43.  @somacruz6893  Given that "abuse" has now effectively been redefined at the behest of feminists (ie the definition has been extended beyond physical abuse, to include psychological harm, manipulation, coercion, financial harm etc etc etc) I think I can confidently say the rate of female domestic abuse of male partners far outstrips male abuse of female partners in the modern day. Albeit it sounds like you were just straight up physically abused in the good old fashioned way.
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  44.  @somacruz6893  wanting a 150k swimming pool when your annual salary is 150k. Lol @ that. It's actually kind of tragic as a mindset.
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  45. Many women suffer from not having an interesting internal world though so their interests are often limited to vacuous consumerism or ways to make her friends envious. As nice as your idea is it's probably a little naive.
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  46.  @beanallene  I didn't say anything about crappy. You're over personalising it. Manipulation is an evolutionary trait/behaviour.  Population level observations are perfectly valid. It's how we understand the world around us and learn. It's important we learn the general rule and it's immaterial that there are exceptions.  Equally population level observations can be incorrect. I'm happy for women to say "all men are trash" and be wrong. Women are wrong about lots of things when it comes to men. Typically that remark is levelled against men when a man simply isn't doing what the female wants or expects them to do. Whatever that might be. So in other words, performing to her expectations. In fact that bolsters my original point. Generally speaking Western society functions by women saying what they want and men doing what women want. Men are rewarded for giving women what they want and by minimising any wants of their own. If a man starts exhibiting lots of personal wants (call them emotions if you will) which don't function in any way to serve the female imperative, watch how quickly that relationship fails. Ergo she really doesn't care about his emotions at all (where they don't benefit her).
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  47. Lol! Do you think women are seeking "balanced support" in a heterosexual relationship? Or do you think they're perhaps seeking a relationship where the VAST MAJORITY of the support flows in their direction? Have you ever uttered one honest remark on the subject?
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  48.  @AlexandreSNunes  So be less natural then in other words. As long as EVERYTHING is in service of not disturbing her emotions. Be honest at least.
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  49.  @ultimatist  Good for you. I'll just accept your anecdote and dismiss all evidence to the contrary.  Where there is conflict between a man's interests and a woman's (and the reality is much in relationships is antagonistic), the woman will give primacy to her own interests. Virtually without exception. Men are different in that they will frequently favour the females interests to their own detriment. That's the essential difference to the "care" performed by the two. I've had plenty of girlfriends thank you. They've been "good people and I've learned a lot". I count them as positive experiences. Women don't care about men's issues however. You're getting very confused if you think that.  Laws would look very different if your hypothesis was in any way true.
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  50.  @patriziapiccardo2428  It doesn't need figuring out. It's called being a statistical outlier and it doesn't invalidate the general experience (which runs completely counter to it). Incidentally you took nothing? You mean you left the kids?!?!
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