Comments by "Natalia Alfonso" (@nataliaalfonso2662) on "Psychology with Dr. Ana" channel.

  1. Germans are notoriously cold people though. I am not German but living in Europe, I worked in tourism and nightlife and the Germans were the most peculiar. The bavarians were sooooooo nice and friendly and sweet. The young men could be very polite and kind. But the ones from Berlin were so cold. Not mean. Not crass. Not aggressive. Just stone cold.
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  2. What’s so sad to see in life is that not only do people that refuse to listen just dismiss and disagree with whatever you say….. If you observe people “getting along” and “agreeing”….. you’ll often see that they’re not listening to each other either.
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  3. People don’t get that enabling us worse than perpetrating. You tell them that, and they’re like DERPDERPDERPDERPDERP but an abuser can only abuse 1 person at a time, generally speaking, right? Give or take. With enablers, they can abuse the entire world if it gets to that point. Think of the world’s worst abusers. The worst in history. Could they have done any of it without enablers? No. That’s how it works. But no one wants to take responsbility for keeping others accountable.
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  4.  @s.d.9543 you’re crazy confused. I think you forgot how contracts work 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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  5.  @mockavel213 not even remotely true lol. What? They were believing they were the ones at fault, bc abusers always project and victim blame, and then the abuser finally did something so insane and so out of line that it snapped them out of it
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  6. This is soooooo insanely true! I have NEVER BEEN THAT FRIEND. I remember once a very disturbed person I was friends with at the time had her cousin’s wedding to go to. They had been planning it for like EVER. This same person had cancelled on my 30th birthday party bc she’s a gross unhinged flake. But I had other guests to attend to, whatever. She claimed she was in crisis. Whatever. Her cousin’s wedding had nothing to do with me. But I knew she and her partner had been planning on going to it for months. RSVP yes. The day of she calls me expecting me to say it’s okay if she flakes. I go off on her like girl they have PAID THE VENUE PER PERSON. What are you doing? She “didn’t know people did that.” No one gets why manners are important and that manners make the man, so to speak. M Can’t claim to be good while being rude.
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  7. Yuuuuuppppppppppppppppppppppp. And it happens…. All the time. 100% of the time at hospitals. And it happens every time we try to engage in sex. The consent thing is WILD. Wild. They’re…… not listening. And then somehow play victim when you explain what they just did was something you said no to.
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  8. This is a lifetime CONSTANT. And god forbid we’re mean to our abusers. Suddenly we deserve the abuse. This is a CONSTANT. A complete CONSTANT.
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  9. That’s literally what people try to tell you. It’s what therapists have literally told me….. And I had LITERALLY had a stroke everyone missed. Like???? Everyone is deranged 😂😂😂😂
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  10. That’s a lot worse than just DARVO. That systemic oppression. But also women need to take accountability for allowing horrific behaviors. See my point? The abusers and oppressors want victims to “take accountability” and pretend they are also abusers. I want victims to take accountability for being enabling desperate doormats that keep falling for DARVO.
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  11. Mean has nothing to do with directness. In fact it’s often a mask. The most insecure pathetic babies are the loudest “meanest ones.” Tell them to tell a truth though. They cannot. Directness is polite and to the point and EARNEST. I’m supremely direct. Especially to the mean people. For example, id be the one to tell someone “hey excuse me, you’re being very brash and rude. What you said was not okay.” Ironically the person being brash and rude would probably be less confronted and more enabled than me. Bc in America people love gross brashness. They don’t like directness.
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  12. Yeah it’s a very weird and immature social paradigm. Ribbing and poking fun is one…. The worse one is then CONSTANTLY dismissing what people say. Have you noticed that? Like no matter what, if someone brings up a novel topic or even tells an interesting story they’re met with “yeah right” or “prove it” or sometimes even “cite your sources.” But like……. In conversation. And even if the person actually verbally cited their sources, the group is like “yeah right yeah right whatever.” And then they think they can just keep hanging out together. People are HORRIBLE to each other.
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  13. On the internet it’s okay to post your argument not with the hope of getting through to the antagonist, but for the audience, so to speak. But you do it once, twice…. And then move on.
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  14.  @strawpiglet obviously. That’s why people always gang up on whoever is first speaking up.
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  15. Not necessarily. Outliers have a very hard time being safe in society.
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  16. Very this
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  17.  @kidhfajuhi no as a millennial woman, I fear it’s CRAZY TRUE. And always has been. People can say or do anything as “friends” but then they act as victims if you bring up it’s not respectful. They’ll have disrespectful table manners, disrespectful jokes, dress disrespectfully, bring up disrespectful topics of conversation, but everyone is still supposed to be “friendly.” Meanwhile if someone RESPECTFULLY tried to explain they don’t like something someone is doing, they’re called ATROCIOUS disrespectful names. Americans really have lost all manners.
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  18. Yeah most of society is just people chasing mimetic desires then raging that these things they never wanted didn’t make them happy.
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  19. There. Are. No. Good. Ones. If there were, the world would be good. It’s literally that simple.
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  20. Write instead. What ever happened to writing?
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  21. It’s really sad.
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  22.  @FishareFriendsNotFood972  excuse me…… but it absolutely is toxic positivity to say “it’s out there” and that you GUARANTEE it. Lmfao. Had you forgotten what you had written? You didn’t say “keep hoping.” You said you guarantee it’s out there. That’s a false toxically positive thing to say. A guarantee you cannot make. Naive and odd, frankly. Just learn when people give you the grace to teach you. If you can’t learn when you err, that’s a YOU problem.
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  23.  @knightmer3645 but he didn’t seem to understand the OP’s point. M She said women need to be MORE disagreeable. Meaning she meant disagreeable is a good and needed thing. So why was he speaking of volatility?? If he had said “you’re right…” and then continued in, he’d have been adding onto her point. As it stands it seemed as though he was invalidated her point….. even though he made the exact same point. Women absolutely do have to learn to be more disagreeable. They mostly seem stuck in a fawn response. Fully addicted to smoothing things over and people pleasing. Yet they’re always ready to annihilate the women willing to be disagreeable. Or even weirder, such as in this thread….. some women seem addicted to arguing with men instead of standing up for the women smarter than them. Like why is that other woman arguing derangedly against dave instead of saying “DAVE you don’t need to mansplain by reiterating what the OP already said correctly.”
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  24.  @NoPlanNoProb half a decade????????? You took half a decade of her childbearing years to figure out she might be too angry sometimes? Would she have been as angry if you hadn’t wasted half a decade of her life? Bc if you know that yes, she was just as angry a few months in…. Then whyd you waste her half a decade?!??? And if the answer is “no she was never this angry one or two years in but the more of her life I wasted the more she got angry”…. Then WHY DID YOU WASTE HER LIFE??
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  25. It just that it’s not safe to engage with people who politically want US TO DIE.
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  26. And here’s hoping everyone always does that to you.
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  27. @ also? Excuse me but no one said “all millennial women.” That’s the weirdest part about all this. Why did two capitalized words trigger you into a projection fit where you accused me of being triggered? Why did you invent that anyone, myself or an other, said “ALL MILLENNIAL WOMEN?” Again, sorry, but here the capitalization of the words is being used to highlight or emphasize. Please don’t get triggered by it. It’s just that you seem to have hallucinated the word “all” when no one used it. Maybe if it had all been capitalized you’d have read it more clearly.
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  28.  @DaveE99 right and the female OP wrote that women need to be MORE disagreeable and LESS neurotic. So she made the exact same point you made. What was the point of you reiterating her point? Isnt that….. precisely by definition….. Mansplaining? She had just made the point you then felt the need to make. And now the entire thread is usurped by you and a different more neurotic woman. wtf??😂😂😂😂😂 Why are all of you like this? 😂😂😂😂 This really has happened every single day I’ve ever worked. Or even tried to communicate with human beings. I’ll say something correct, non-controversial, basic, straightforward…….. In will come a man to say the exact same thing himself, but in a way that suggests I hadn’t just said it so he can take credit….. And then, without fail, will come some woman addicted to her own stress hormones to argue with the man… instead of just saying “THATS WHAT SHE SAID” to make sure the man doesn’t get the credit for what the ORIGINAL WOMAN (in my case me, in this thread OP) had already said. Why are you people all like this?
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  29.  @TwylasCouch y’all have the White House, Congress, every royal family ever, every dictator ever l, every head of a movie studio, every tech bro, every financier… What do you want?
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  30.  @twontree seems odd to even consider you NEVER have been. Lmfao. Are you a human person with many years and thousands of human interactions under your belt? Then chances are you have been.
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  31. It’s exhausting and I refuse to be anymore.
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  32. @ do you actually believe that my capitalizing two words for emphasis seems as “triggered” as your subsequent paragraph telling me, who is perfectly calm and only used caps for two words, to calm down and “lay off the caps lock?” It was two words. I’d have italicized them instead if I wasn’t on my phone. Are you okay?
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  33.  @DaveE99 she said MORE disagreeable
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  34.  @NoPlanNoProb  I haven’t been dumped. wtf are you talking about? I’m saying you took HALF A DECADE…. Over a college degree’s worth of time…… To figure out she wasn’t worth staying with? Huh?
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  35.  @nanomia  victims have the responsbility of admitting they are in fact being abused and that their abusers are garbage. How many women have you known to tell you all the myriad ways in which guys are horrific to them, and you sitting their slack jawed in shock…. And then she hits you with the “no but he’s a good guy dEeP dOwN and really it was my fault, I egged him on and bagged him.” SEE MY POINT? Like no chick you have to take accountability of the fact that you are weak and trauma bonded and enabled and con dependent and making so many excuses for an abuser that you’re gaslighting me by telling me he is good. I really can’t with them anymore. I cannot. They truly become addicted to abuse. Like neurologically. It’s all really sad.
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  36. I’m forever “tardy.” The perpetual 15 minute late person. I live far from everything and everyone, bc while I live in NYC I live in a suburban area away from main transit hubs so very far from public transit and I drive in subject to insane traffic discrepancies and also parking issues. Having said that…. What possible excuse would someone in this day and age have to be late AT ALL…. Without checking in? Even if I’m a few minutes late, if my friend texts me “here” I can easily text back “hey the gps says I’m there in 10 minutes” with a screenshot. It I can tell them “hey exactly 2 subway stops away” with the station name or drop a pin. If I’m going to be much later I can talk to them the entire time I’m late! This person you’re referring to is just a gross person without manners. We have to remember how many people just weren’t raised correctly. That’s all.
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  37. What about….. Doing anything good for society?
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  38.  @asteridshydrangea tons of studies.
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  39.  @NYC1E1 WHAT? She’s IN MISERY. Her dude is calling her another woman’s name. Then admitting he’s doing it to make her upset. wtf are you talking about misery loves company? Are YOU ina. Relationship this abusive and staying? Bc then YOURE ATHE MISERY that wants company. Not people FREE OF ABUSE
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  40. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 what????
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  41. Get your dbt workbook and do it every single day.
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  42. The latter is easier though lmfao. Great friends and a loving family are very rare
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  43. @snowguitarrrdid you make deep and meaningful amends to your sister you abused? Or you just feel entitled to the reward of an adult relationship with you despite the damage you may have done to her psychologically?
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  44. Yeah those are awful people. Thank god they gave you the peace of not having them in your life anymore
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  45.  @nicolepettit5120 not only that it was a joke. His reason for joking in such a deranged manner was specifically TO UPSET HER. What on earth do women need to hear TO LEAVE?!???
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  46. Up to you. I’d say better sooner than later, frankly. But it also depends on your life circumstances. If you’re okay with more superficial vapid relationships then you can keep them as such. But people like that are tremendously dangerous when you need things in life. When they need to believe you about health issues, financial issues, even like…. Safety issues. Literally. These people that will argue anything will argue about germ theory, health and hygiene issues, they never believe if you’re sick or injured or anything. They’re incredibly dangerous. In my experience. Incredibly dangerous.
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  47. This is how most mothers are and we don’t talk about it enough.
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  48. Oh. She’s not going to get better. I have no idea what you’re referring to but brain damage doesn’t get better with surgeries. People have more and more trace infarcts during surgeries. I’m very sorry, but she will get worse.
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  49.  @rustyshackleford2185 yeah you didn’t just think this person maybe did. You bizarrely accused her of it in a cringey assumptive way. That’s….. not okay to do. Did you do that often to your ex?
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  50. If you get to keep a job and aren’t completely sabotaged out of it, you’re ver lucky and no one sees you as a threat.
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