Comments by "dr1flush" (@dr1flush) on "HealthyGamerGG" channel.

  1. It's the trend to navigate problems by just leaving. People who say ick and red flag i find aren't really serious about relationships. They just want a "perfect" partner but aren't willing to work for it
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  2. I also seem to recall a video Dr k did where he explained that we don't want love we want to love others. So it's not that you need to be loved, it's that you want to love someone or "something"
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  3. I need water, I need oxygen, I need food. We don't NEED love. It's something we want and the more you want it the harder it is to go without. That can be said for anything we want in life
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  4. Guys if you want to know the best place on earth to meet girls is not the bar or work or school . Is the store called TARGET 😂
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  5. With all due respect you said you’re afraid people will think less of you if you’re vulnerable. That is weakness , to me you sound extremely insecure and weak. Everything in life requires vulnerability from asking for help to intimacy. There is great strength in vulnerability
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  6.  @NJ-wb1cz  I can actually prove to you right now what I said is true and that it's not silly at all. If you don't have a partner you're simply lonely yes? The moments you're distracted from your loneliness you don't feel alone right? You can't feel lonely 24/7 right? If you're distracted or doing something fun then you don't feel lonely . That proves that being lonely is just a thought in your mind and nothing else. Again Loneliness is simply a thought in your mind which some people have more than others. This proves that you don't need love , no one literally needs love to survive. You think you do but what you really need is to love others. I couldn't disagree with you more. It's actually silly to think you need someone to love you THAT IS WHAT IS SILLY. What you really need is to love others or even something ( that's another discussion) and you can love anyone you interact with. If you love someone you don't need anything from them that isn't love if you require something in return. Love is unconditional. But I digress, no one needs love to be alive. There's plenty of people who have no one and they are doing just fine so to say we need love is just incorrect
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  7.  @luck9837  people respect , connect and love vulnerability. When someone is truly authentic people respect that. Why do you think people fall in love with deep music and art? Because that vulnerability is a connection to our hearts and speaks to people. There’s a difference between being vulnerable and telling people everything about yourself. I’ve never regretted being vulnerable in my entire life. That’s not to say that being vulnerable will always get you what you want
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  8.  @NJ-wb1cz  you don't seem to understand my distinction between wanting something and needing something. We don't need love We want it. There is literally no way you can ever know if someone loves you so what you want is to think you're loved and then you'll be happy. Again you just want to think someone loves you so that's just a thought in your mind. It's all thoughts in our mind and it's not psychotic to not be obsessed with having someone love you. I would say it's more unhealthy to be obsessed with having someone love you. The only love you can be sure of is the love you give to others. So again we don't need to be loved we want to love others. If you truly understand what love is you don't need to have someone love you to be happy or fulfilled. Love is unconditional if I love you I don't need you to be in a relationship with me to love. Seems to me you're arguing and defending your point and not trying to understand what I'm saying. No one NEEDS love to survive. What you want is to love others.
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  9.  @NJ-wb1cz  I never said" we don't want love we want others" you're not reading carefully what I said. I said no one needs love. What you want is to love others or something. I can love my cat or dog. I can love my friends and parents. I don't need you or a anyone to say they love me to be fulfilled or happy. I don't need love from a stranger to be content in life or to not feel lonely. What I want and what everyone wants is to love others or something
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  10.  @yucheung5853  we do not need love. We want to give love. I can always tell who doesn't really understand what love is if they say all humans need love. This is a misunderstanding of what love is. I don't need love from anyone to be fulfilled or happy. I want to give love and I can do that to anyone I meet or even my cat or dog
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  11.  @codagaming9186 " if you have no one who loves you then that is the same as starving " How exactly can you know if someone loves you? If they say so? If they do things to show it? If someone tells you they love you 3x every single day and buys you flowers does that mean they love you? What if they are just using you and lying? How can you be so sure? People do that all the time .What you're describing is a thought in your mind. You want to think someone cares about you to make you feel ok or good. I disagree with what you said. Loneliness is actually just a thought in your head just like love is. You think someone loves you and you think that will make you happy or fulfilled but it won't. If you think you cannot survive without love then that's really depressing imo. That means your happiness or fulfilment in life is dependant on other people. That means if no one cares about you your life is lacking and empty. But is it? No... that is just a thought you have in your head and a misunderstanding of what love is. No one needs any love to be happy or fulfilled that's a lie you're telling yourself. What we want is to love others or something . That is the only love you can be certain of, the love you give and you can love anyone you interact with. If you really think about it and understand that you can never really know if someone loves you what you said doesn't really make sense No one needs anyone to love them that's what movies, TV and people tell you but it's not true. What we want is to give love
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  12.  @LucMarcelle I think I'm just not explaining it very well or you're not carefully reading what I'm saying and understanding it. if you disagree that's fine I'm not trying to force you to believe anything. But the reality is that loneliness is just a thought in your mind. If loneliness was more than a thought you wouldn't be able to distract yourself from it and you would always be lonely when you're alone. Some people enjoy being alone . Are they feeling lonely if they want to be alone? That means it's just a thought you have and some people obsess over this thought. The idea that we need someone to love us doesn't really make sense if you acknowledge the reality that you can never even know if they truly love you. Also I find it really depressing this idea that I need others to care about me for my life to be fulfilled and for me to be happy. That means I'm dependant on others to feel good or ok. What we all really want is to give love not receive love. This is the truth about love. If you want to think you need people to care and love you then that really makes you like an addict in relationships and you're kinda just using people to feel good. That isn't even love . I don't need anyone to love me. I want to give love and you can give love to anyone you interact with or even pets. That's why people love animals
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  13.  @zacharygrais  how can you know if you're truly loved? You say you just know... That isn't an explanation that is a feeling caused by a thought in your mind. I agree that you can think you're loved because of how someone treats you. Notice it all comes back to thoughts. The only love you can actually be 100% certain of is the love you give. That's why it's not that we want to be loved it's that we want to give love. If you think you need to be loved that's really a terrible state of living imo. That means you're dependant on others to feel fulfilled or happy in life right?
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  14.  @zacharygrais  I respect however you want to think about love and life. Not many people subscribe to the way of thinking I'm explaining mostly because they are taught otherwise from TV parents friends etc. But everything we are talking about is simply thoughts in our mind. Those thoughts create the feelings of loneliness love anger pride etc. The main point I'm making is that we don't need to be loved... We want to give love and you can give love to anyone you meet or even something like a pet. To go about life thinking you need love from others is really depressing to me imo. It means I'm completely dependent on you to make me feel good about myself. If you/ anyone won't care about me then I feel bad.. Yes? I don't live like that personally. Instead I focus on giving love and not actually receiving it. Because again that is the only love you can be certain of
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  15.  @RavenL1337  There is a love we can have for ourselves and others that is unconditional. Self love isn't conditional is it? Do you not love yourself unconditionally? Do parents put conditions on love for their children? Relationships have conditions, a relationship is not love however. There's nothing wrong with putting conditions on relationships. Love doesn't even matter in a relationship what matters is if someone treats you with love and expresses love. If you only love someone because they make you feel good then you're going to hate them when they make you feel bad. This isn't love if it's completely conditional on how you feel. If you love only when someone meets a condition that isn't love in that moment. Can people love someone if they are abusive and don't treat you right? Can you end a relationship and still love someone? Love wants nothing in return. Love is complete acceptance, completely unconditional and love is completely selfless. Just to be clear a relationship is NOT love , love and a relationship are two completely different things. The act of loving is unconditional
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  16.  @zacharygrais  the opposite of love isn't abuse or hate. The opposite of love is indifference or apathy. The opposite of love is not caring at all .You most definitely can abuse, neglect or even physically harm someone you love. Love isn't an action it's a feeling ,to express love is an action. I can love you and treat you terribly. I can also not care about you and treat you with love. Yes or no? Yes people especially men do this all the time. Of course you can experience love like any feeling. I can experience anger hate love pride envy or any feeling. If you experience rejection you're upset because you gave that person value in your mind. If you're rejected by someone you don't care about then you do NOT care right? (This is important to acknowledge if you want to understand what I'm saying) If you're rejected by someone who you gave no value to then it doesn't hurt. Right? If someone physically hurts you you'll feel pain. If I say something that upsets you that only" hurts" you because you think what I said matters or you gave my opinion value. If a bum in the street says you're stupid as you walk by or if I say your opinion is dumb that doesn't hurt you because you didn't give it meaning. Right? Btw I don't think your opinion is dumb. I just disagree
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  17.  @zacharygrais  now if you want to argue that I'm a hermit or not normal that I'm some kind psycho like others have said well that's just not true. I'm just like you. We are all wired basically the same. I Simply just have a different way of looking at love and relationships than you and most people do. Yes a relationship with someone you love is great and you can strive for that. But it won't make you happy and it won't bring you peace. A relationship can't cure depression and you can be in a relationship and still be lonely. But you're only going to experience the pain of loneliness because of thoughts. Without thoughts there are no feelings. If you distract yourself from the thoughts of loneliness then you are NOT lonely right? That's why people drink or do drugs sometimes. So IF you CAN recognize that loneliness is caused by thoughts then you have begun to cure your pain. You have achieved something most people don't ever understand... That another person CANNOT make you happy or bring you peace... EVER.
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  18.  @zacharygrais  and finally when I say you can never know if someone loves you this is the bitter truth about love. You really are not able to know if someone truly loves you. That doesn't mean I haven't been in a relationship with love. That means I don't care if you say I love you. I care if you treat me with love. That means I recognize that I'm not a mind reader. To be Loved requires trust. But again you are simply trusting that someone loves you. That is a thought you have. You think they live you because you trust them . The only love we can actually be 100% certain of is the love we give. So it's not that you need someone to love you... it's that you want something or someone to love. Believe it or not it's up to you. But I don't need anyone to love me... I want to give love. That is human nature
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  19.  @zacharygrais  solipsism is a philosophy or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist. See I think you're not really comprehending what I'm explaining. I don't believe that at all, that's the opposite of what I think. Its possible im not explaining it clearly. I don't expect everyone to understand or even agree because what I believe is not what we are taught from TV parents friends etc. But no one needs another person to love them in life. You want that because you think it'll make you happy .. But it cannot actually do that. If you keep thinking someone's love will make you happy of course you'll miss it. It's impossible not to because again, whatever we miss in life is simply something we think will make us happy. You don't miss things unless you think they will make you happy. The cure to controlling and understanding loneliness is understanding how the human brain thinks. All emotions do come from thoughts. If a comet is coming to earth and someone thinks it's the rapture from the Bible they won't feel fear. If they want to die they won't care . If they don't believe it's a comet at all they won't feel emotions of fear etc . What you're saying doesn't really make sense. All emotions do come from thoughts. What's possible is that you don't understand the thoughts or the emotions.. But really we don't need anyone to love us. That's a truly depressing ideology because you're now totally relying on someone else to feel ok. So no wonder you're lonely . If you want a channel that will explain this better than me it's " Noah Elkrief" a good video to start with is" how to deal with loneliness. Never be lonely again". I strongly suggest watching this video if you struggling with loneliness.
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  20.  @timrosswood4259  actually people can and have died from a "broken heart syndrome". However thinking must occur before experiencing emotion. Yes or no? These people think that they needed someone else or put so much value on someone else . Emotions are always second to thoughts even if you're unaware of it. Right? This is why you have to think that you need someone to experience loneliness. If you don't want to be with anyone you're not going to experience loneliness. You don't need anyone to love you to be happy, fulfilled or even to develop into a healthy adult. Yes in child development having a nurturing care giver helps you become a healthy adult but it's not necessary. To say every single child who didn't receive love is going to be unhealthy as an adult is just not true. A baby is completely relying on an adult otherwise they will die . This isn't the same as an adult saying I need someone to love me. People who think they need love from others are still thinking like a child. As an adult you do not need love from others, you want to give love
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  21. Half of nearly 1,400 Tinder users surveyed said they weren't interested in actually finding dates. He’s not wrong
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  22.  @georgesonm1774  I'm wrong. I learned this from a channel called " Noah Elkrief" and it changed the way I look at relationships. I can't tell you the exact video but I can link the one I think it was. Basically he says that you can never even know truly if someone loves you , you could be with someone for years and they can say I love you every minute of the day but that doesn't prove they love you. You just can't ever really know for certain so to say we need love is simply incorrect. What we need is to love others. This is what I remember but that channel is really good if you're trying to understand relationships ending and some other things
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  23.  @NJ-wb1cz if you truly believe you need love to be happy then life is lacking without it and you become like an addict using people to feel good about yourself. what everyone wants is to be happy and find peace but you and most people think being loved will do to that. That's just a lie or a misunderstanding I strongly suggest searching for this video " Noah Elkrief . how to deal with loneliness. Never be lonely again! " if you want a better understanding of what I'm saying watch this video.
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  24.  @zacharygrais  I didn't say you can't receive love or that it's wrong. I said it's impossible to actually know if someone loves you. How will you know? You have to trust you just said it yourself. I'm not against trusting someone loves you but realistically you're doing exactly that ... Trusting them you can never know. So it's a thought in your mind. If they do something wrong you don't think they love you. Someone could treat you terribly and love you right? I disagree with this notion that thoughts and feelings are completely different. Feelings are caused by thoughts. For example you think you need to have someone love you so if you don't your feeling lonely and are going to be experiencing negative emotions. You think someone is disrespectful so you're going to be angry. You think something is funny so you're going to laugh. If you think you're content in life you're going to be happy. Without thoughts there are no feelings. How can you experience happiness, disgust, anger , love , pride , embarrassment etc without thoughts? Yes feelings and thoughts aren't the same but feelings are caused by thoughts. If you distract yourself from loneliness then in that moment you don't feel sad or lonely. Loneliness is a thought in your mind. Depression is caused by thoughts
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  25.  @zacharygrais  one last thing. Does it even matter if someone loves you? No. Not really in relationships. what matters is do they treat you with love. If a mother loves her kid but treats him terrible, does the kid feel love?
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  26.  @zacharygrais  thinking and feeling are intertwined. That is to say without thoughts there are no feelings. All the feelings you've ever experienced are a result of thoughts. So if you think you need someone then you'll be lonely. If you think you're content you'll be happy. If you think someone is disrespectful or making fun of you and you give that persons words value then you'll feel angry or sad.
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  27.  @zacharygrais  you say you think people who are alone don't realize they are miserable if they aren't lonely ..That's very interesting I couldn't disagree more. You are only miserable because you think someone else in your life will make life more fulfilling or make you happy. You don't miss things unless you think they will make you happy. This is crucial to understanding my point. You don't miss anything in life unless you literally think it will make you happy. It's possible to not even aware of this consciously. No one misses someone or anything unless they think consciously or unconsciously that it will make them happier. People can have emotions and never even understand them but they are still results of thoughts. You think this person is going to make you happy so you will miss them if they leave... If you think the person is going to make you miserable why would you miss them?
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  28.  @zacharygrais  if you want to cure your loneliness you need to recognize that another person won't be able to make you happy. If I gave you two choices 1. To be alone and never feel sad and be content and at peace.. Or 2. You're with someone you love and they love you but they make you feel miserable unfulfilled etc.. Which would you choose? If you're honest with yourself and really think about it you would probably choose being at peace and alone right? This literally proves that what we want in life is peace. Another person cannot bring you peace. Another person cannot make you happy. All of this comes from within. If you continue to tell yourself what you just told me of course you're going to be lonely. You'll be lonely forever because you think you need someone to have a happy life and be at peace . But do you really? No..imo you don't. This all comes from within, no one person can make you happy or bring you peace.
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  29.  @jimbla4747  Vulnerability is what happens when you power through our leave behind insecurity. Real vulnerability is no longer being afraid of being judged for who you are and what you feel. Emotional vulnerability is authenticity, truth and courage. Does truth and courage sound like a weakness ? Emotional weakness is fear, insecurity and avoidance. There is great courage and growth found in being authentic, not in hiding ourselves. I know what vulnerability means and on an emotional level it is the opposite of weakness. To embrace vulnerability is to be human, true to self, courageous and is the foundation of true strength
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  30.  @jimbla4747  to be emotionally vulnerable is to be honest, authentic and courageous. Is truth and courage weakness? To be emotionally weak is to fear, to be insecure and avoid. Is insecurity and fear strength?
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  31.  @jimbla4747  to be emotionally vulnerable is to be honest, authentic and courageous. Is truth and courage weakness? Vulnerability is not fear, insecurity or avoidance . Is insecurity and fear strength?
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  32.  @jimbla4747  to be emotionally vulnerable is to be honest, authentic and courageous. Is truth and courage weakness?
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  33.  @jimbla4747  to be emotionally vulnerable is to be honest, authentic and courageous. Is truth and courage weakness?
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  34.  @jimbla4747  that’s precisely why it requires strength. To allow yourself to be vulnerable opens you up to being wounded emotionally. Being vulnerable requires honesty, authenticity and courage. Is truth and courage weakness? The opposite of vulnerability is fear, insecurity and avoidance. Is fear and insecurity strength?
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  35.  @luck9837  there are definitely people who think vulnerability is weakness ( just read the chat). That doesn’t make them right. Those are the people who are the weak ones. That’s not a dig at them, it’s just the reality that they are because their weakness is insecurity about what people think of them. To be vulnerable just means to be human, authentic, have courage and emotions. What else is strength if not truth and courage?
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  36.  @luck9837  …and if you can’t be vulnerable with someone that relies on you that means you can’t rely on them. Love requires deep vulnerability.
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  37.  @Dharengo  how do you figure that my opinion is the problem? Me not being afraid of what you’ll think of me if I’m authentic makes me the problem? lol. Sorry but no. The problem people face over vulnerability is they are insecure about what others think so they let opinions of them control their lives. That has nothing to do with me. Vulnerability is what happens when you graduate from insecurity
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  38.  @Dharengo  I’m not a mind reader so what’s your point? You aren’t making one so to say I’m proving it makes no sense. Being emotionally vulnerable requires courage to overcome our insecurities. That’s not weakness that’s strength, authenticity and courage. I genuinely would like to hear an actual point against what I’m saying that makes sense. Instead it’s just vague statements from scared insecure individuals. No offense but if you can’t recognize what in saying to be truth you’re probably insecure
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  39.  @Dharengo  what you’re describing is shame. Our insecurities aren’t are fault but they are our responsibility to overcome. The only way to find out if people genuinely care is to be vulnerable. Being authentic and vulnerable isn’t some universal key to getting what you want. What I said is that being vulnerable requires strength courage and authenticity. I never said it’ll make everyone care about you .
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  40.  @Dharengo  you’re saying if anyone sees my struggle they will leave. This is shame and insecurity. This isn’t strength and authenticity. I can be vulnerable, be let down and be ok with myself. I am ok because I can take care of myself. If someone won’t make a safe space for me to be vulnerable then I don’t want a relationship or friendship with them anyway. The opposite of this is wearing a mask and being fake because I’m not secure with self. This is weakness, this is not strength
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  41.  @Dharengo  do you want me to lie and say you’re a secure strong person for being afraid to be vulnerable with others? I have insecurities but it doesn’t stop me from being vulnerable with certain people . My entire point is correct that to be vulnerable requires strength. To be afraid of vulnerability is weakness.
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  42.  @Dharengo  Self pity, shame, inauthenticity and avoidance aren’t a strength they are emotional weakness. It shows the level of insecurity when these are coping mechanisms. To be vulnerable requires emotional strength, courage and authenticity. The best Art, music , literature all portray levels of vulnerability and this is why they are timeless. Not everyone will appreciate, protect and make space for vulnerability. That doesn’t mean the solution is to hide behind a mask and not be true to self. That is the definition of weakness. Is not possible to find a loving relationship without vulnerability
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  43.  @Dharengo  “ you’re doing it again” . Yup I’m being real and authentic. You’re not making any points against what I’m saying. What you’re doing is playing a victim and self pitying. If you can’t be vulnerable it literally has nothing to do with me or anyone else and everything to do with you. Until you face your issues and insecurities you’ll continue to blame others and play a victim.
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  44.  @Dharengo  the fact you blame me or anyone for the fact you can’t be authentic or vulnerable shows that you need others to feel good about yourself. This is insecurity. If I don’t say nice things you think less of yourself. This is literally insecurity
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  45.  @Dharengo  for you to be vulnerable means you’re open to being wounded. Weakness is your inability to withstand being wounded. There is a difference between weakness and vulnerability. Being emotionally vulnerable isn’t a weakness it is a strength because you can withstand being wounded. People with insecurities and complex trauma are afraid of vulnerability because of negative emotions that can come with it. Vulnerability is the only thing that leads to true connection with others
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  46.  @Dharengo  in complex trauma vulnerability leads to pain and shame. That is why some see it as weakness. For you to say vulnerability is bad is like saying emotions are bad. It takes strength and courage to show all of yourself that is why you’re incorrect in arguing against what I’m saying. If you want to run away from the conversation idc
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  47.  @Dharengo  if you avoid being vulnerable you’re still feeling the emotions, you’re just hiding them. You couldn’t be more wrong and it’s a shame that trauma has you believing vulnerability is negative
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  48.  @Dharengo  best of luck healing
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  49.  @Dharengo  nothing I said is random. I explained exactly why you’re incorrect in your assertion of seeing vulnerability as a weakness. I explained why it requires strength and courage to be vulnerable . Only people who have dealt with complex trauma see vulnerability as a negative because they fear what can come with it. Again if you think vulnerability is bad you think all emotions are bad. That is a sign of complex trauma. So I wish you the best in healing
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  50.  @Dharengo  “every time a dude tries to open up people like you ….. make everything their own fault.” “… exemplified the reason men don’t open up” See you’re trying to blame me or others for your negative perception of vulnerability. I explained clearly why vulnerability is a strength and being afraid of vulnerability is a weakness. Nothing more nothing less
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