Hearted Youtube comments on Psychology with Dr. Ana (@AnaPsychology) channel.

  1. I love bantering with people but only people I really trust.
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  2. I definitely play devil's advocate too much in these conversations 😅I'm trying to work on that. But that makes me wonder, how can you still encourage your partner's personal growth if you never call them out when they're wrong? Like for instance if they're stressed about something that's actually their fault but they won't admit it, how can you go about validating their feelings but also try to help them see how they could have avoided the situation or dealt with it better to help them in the future?
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  3. I like that this advice is a lot more specific than "Listen to others." As a neurodivergent that struggles with social cues and customs, I don't feel that generic advice is too helpful. But when you explain it like such, take an interest in other people's interests..it's a lot more specific and helpful
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  4. I'm not spared from homework even during the holidays noo. Nonetheless, it's so interesting to see different levels of intimacy mapped out in such detail
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  5. The "passive constructive" one feels very parental. Like your mom just trying to be nice but being preoccupied. This situation can be hurtful to me when I specifically choose a person to vent to and it bounces right off of them.
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  6. I’ve been doing this for years now and it’s so liberating! No need to burn yourself out trying to hang around people who don’t care enough to put in the effort
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  7. oof I felt super attacked but I needed to hear some objective opinions so thank you so much for making this video!! It's sometimes hard to acknowledge that you have qualities that are considered red or yellow flags, but acknowledging them is the first step to becoming a better person for yourself and your loved ones!
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  8. My issue with this discourse and any online conversation about celebrities bodies and surgery is that they pick someone apart, they get work done because they are constantly being photographed and picked apart, they get criticized for having work done, and everybody feeding into this obsession have a sense of selfrighteousness about doing so. They act like they're doing good and if you don't agree you're either delusional or being a part of they problem. Nobody taking accountability for how they make celebrities insecure or how they're making others obsessed by constantly talking about it. Maybe it's an issue as seeing celebrities as non human and seeing a girl who happens to sing get filler or lose weight as something she's specifically doing to trick you or advertise to you instead of just seeing a person existing. Idk if I'm making sense lol Can't wait to watch the rest of the video and hear your take!
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  9. Confidence is the key. If you don't believe in yourself, then nobody will.
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  10. This is why they say, watching a horror movie on thr 1st date is thr best date idea heheehehe
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  11. As a black woman I feel double affected by being labeled as aggressive unfairly
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  12. i always aspire to be like you
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  13. OMG yes!! So true. We, people, tend to think that the abusers are unaware or do it unconsciously but the reality is, as you well say, that they don't act like that in public or near police for example. The abusers DO CHOOSE when and who to abuse! I think it's more complex than that due to a degree of disconnect/dissociation in the process but overall that's a very good point
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  14. My boyfriend and I don’t really fight! It really is possible and we are very happy together. It helps that both of us can talk about things without getting offended for the most part! We have also NEVER disrespected one another in a disagreement.
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  15. Millennials and Gen Z have experienced their surroundings changing at exponential speeds almost their entire lives. Something as simple as FaceTime was a totally cartoonish futuristic idea when I was a kid, now there are self driving cars and neural links. Technological advances had previously been happening at a slower rate for a good amount of time. Also, so many of us have witnessed older relatives’ neuroticism be plainly exposed when given access to social media, this stuff is crazy making. I have so much to say about all of this, but one last thing I will add is that I was doing an intensive outpatient program, and at 26 I was the youngest person there almost the entire time, I was actually really surprised by the age range.
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  16. People have been thinking I’m 16 for the past decade now...
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  17. Me being married but still wanting to hear your thoughts on this subject. 😂
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  18. Hello Ana . I dont want to sound so demanding , but can you also make a video about nihilsm and defeatist mindset and how to overcome this way of thinking?
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  19. That is interesting. I personally appreciate trigger warnings about some gruesome topics. It is useful for me in certain situations. For example, if I am listening to a podcast while getting ready for work and a trigger warning about a gruesome topic comes up, I change to a different episode. I would rather start my day in a lighthearted mood.
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  20. Something I regularly do with people that talk to me.and seem stuck in a mental cycle of trying to logic their shame out of the picture, is tell them about the things I am ashamed of. I have been abusive before, toxic and manipulative and I could not start working on these things before I also adressed the fear of being all these things. When I open up to people about the ways I have been a shitty person, they have an easier time opening up about the ways in which they have sucked...so then we at least for a moment suck together, before we hahe to face the fact that we eventually still have to keep going in life, so...we discuss what we will do about these things and how we can suck less. This has led to a handful of the most authentic friendships I have, where we contact eachother because we give eachother the space to reflect in our darkest and most disgusting personality traits and eventually choose to be better because we actually all deep down don't want to be this way either.
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  21. Thank god someone is speaking about this, I had to keep pretending it was a relationship in advice seeking forums just to be taken seriously
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  22. My approach to dating apps has always been to say "I love to meet people and don't like texting. So, if we match, I'll just ask you out :)" The good thing about this filters it down to people who are also outgoing and spontaneous. I'm still single af. And my last relationship i found outside the apps. But I've gotten interesting dates out of it for sure. :D
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  23. I love it whenever people ramble on about their interests. I have a friend who is really interested in chemistry, and I love it whenever she gets so passionate about it. I may not really understand much chemistry but I love seeing her so happy about something.
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  24. To all those saying “As long as people are happy I see no problem”, the whole point of this video is to demonstrate that cosmetic surgery is NOT what will make you happy. People may think it’ll make them happier and will act like it makes them happier but the thing is, they often aren’t aware of what the actual underlying issue is so that happiness is usually temporary. As Ana said, social media and mental health issues contribute to the mindset of “I will be happier once I fix this about myself” but unfortunately people are usually unaware of the toxic consumption they engage with on a daily basis as well as the true root of their low self-esteem. It takes a lot of self-awareness and inner work, which is why I always say people need to focus more on improving the inside rather than the outside. No hate to those who choose to undergo surgery, but fact of the matter is it won’t make you truly happy. And if you think it will, you are only contributing to the cycle. It’s unfortunate.
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  25. When dealing with people and relationships I always repeat the phrase “so let them” base off this notion. They’re onto a new phase of their life, someone did you wrong, they have a new partner, they did XYZ and you feel like you didn’t get justice, “so let them.” Once I understood “so let them” my life become sm more peaceful :)
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  26. This one hits close to home. From my experience here in Germany (despite the image of Germans being rather withdrawn people) introverts constantly have to justify their lifestyle and basically run the risk of being stigmatized as "boring" all the time... It's kind of exasperating at times like I would expect people (esp. adults) to be a little more indifferent or tolerant regarding personality traits as long as they aren't toxic tbh. Instead introverts are out here getting dragged for no reason... (I should add that I'm genuinely not trying to generalize people and I do not hate anyone just for being extroverted. Just sharing a similar experience to what is described in the book)
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  27. I’m a woman who dated for a decade and have now been married for over a decade. The manosphere/red pill dudes make the “cost/benefit analysis” too literal. They focus on status, appearance, and earning potential; and almost not at all on interests, personality, values, and compatibility. If you’re “high-status” right now (whoever you are) there’s no guarantee you’ll retain that status (and vice-versa); but if your relationship is based on shared interests, compatibility, values, and chemistry, then both the short- and long-term benefits of the relationship are so much higher!
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  28. I definitely think that dating apps are just awful & have ruined dating. If someone doesn’t like the person they’re with they can just hop on the dating apps & find someone “better” or “more attractive”.
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  29. Confession; I forgave one of my former partners for cheating, but no one, not even my best friend knows it even happened
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  30. Aw, you both make a really wonderful couple. Love the funny banter you both enjoy and I love how he was making you laugh Ana. Very romantic and very strong teamwork energy between you both. ❤❤❤❤ also the Bachelor X party is genius, I bet your friends had more fun at your wedding having met each other in advance at that party. You both rock! Enjoy your happily ever after. 🕊💖✨
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  31. This makes so much sense. Anxiety is, emotionally, to move away from people, kindness is the emotional state of moving towards people. Relaxation is neutrality towards people. It's comfortable boredom. Edit: Oh my god, Ana has Seen my comment! 🙀
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  32. I’m about to be 10 months apart from my partner and I’m hoping distance will truly help the heart to grow fonder with this instance 🙏🏽
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  33. I am really happy you mentioned avoiding selfishness, narcissism, sense of entitlement, low-morality first!... you can't 'cheat proof' that. It is so damaging when people spread messages like 'have sex with them often, spoil them, satisfy them'... especially for those in narcissistic relationships.
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  34. I just can't believe my mother lied to me when she said all the other kids were just jealous of how smart I am. /for real some of the ways parents teach kids to cope sets them up for failure later in life, but hey Ana can discuss this in a far more educated, nuanced, and informed manner than I can
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  35. Only one I disagree with is avoiding divorced people. I married at 18 when I was still in school and divorced him 3 years later because he was abusive ( gaslighting, stonewalling, invalidating, ganging up with friends, lying to and about me to others, and cheating ). I had a child with him. The decision to leave did not come easily and my divorce was not a fault of my own. If a man judges me negatively for that divorce i think he's kind of a piece of shit.
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  36. I really hope to see studies like this on older people. College students aren’t really fully formed imo just based on age. I’m curious what this looks like for 30+ people
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  37. This is seriously reassuring for me, since I am literally scared by fights. In my family was normal to fight, and I have grown up hating it: the screams, the insults, the belittling... I can't help to start crying every time I have a fight with someone because of all of this
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  38. Good tip that I heard from someone: feelings are always valid, but not always justified. I always thought of valid in this context similar to what you said: the person has a right to their feelings. I think the problem I see sometimes is the conflation of challenging someone on their perspective and emotional truth as invalidating.
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  39. One thing I noticed when watching a second time is how excited Walt got when he found out how much money was seized from a busted meth lab. This excitement was before the cancer diagnosis. Cancer was just the excuse that he used.
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  40. We can all agree children are the most vulnerable population, yet the terrible things we do to them we would NEVER do to other adults! If you heard your spouse sobbing in the other room, would you just let them cry it out??? I saw a parent with their kid in a stroller, and the kid started calling out to the parent but received no answer. The kid started to panic, calling out louder, crying and screaming, and the parent just kept quiet, looking annoyed. Can you imagine this doing this to a partner or friend? We don't even do this to people we hate. And let's be real, if/when the child starts ignoring the parent in the same way, you can bet they'll get heavily punished for disrespect.
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  41. I have realized now that I almost always was the desperate person, both in friendships I had/wanted and in relationships I wanted. Then when I finally let go of desperately wanting a boyfriend, I met my future bf. It's pretty painful to think about all the things I did in high school for people that didn't even want to be friends, like making a cake or some gift for their birthday, or giving them my notes, or helping them with a test... I also repeatedly had narcissistic best friends, who didn't care about my goals or my happiness either. One of them was basically trying to compete with me in everything (learning languages, sports, etc). Probably that's what was familiar, since both my dad and brother have narcissistic personalities. I really don't have many friends now and I'm starting to feel okay with it, but I'm still trying to find friends through my hobbies, but not like I did in high school. Everyone is busy so I cherish when we have some fun time together.
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  42. This seems obvious but maybe people who are very busy or have a lot going on in their lives might be less mindful of "turning away." Maybe it also has something to do with taking your partner for granted and not fully immersing yourself in the relationship
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  43. I'm hitting 25 this July, and yeah, it's definitely an experience transitioning from the younger first half of my 20s into the more serious responsible second half. Good luck to us.
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  44. You get articles like this for 'asian women' where they are described as a polite, traditional and submissive wife and how they're much better than 'western women'. Honestly its such a fetishising generalisation and its disgusting.
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  45. I’ve watched you throughout my relationship. We were together 3 and a half years and are now broken up. U do good work and give good advice keep it up
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  46. I think this becomes really hard when the people we are trying to communicate with become disrespectful, escalated etc. It's uncomfortable but learning to stand our boundaries firm with time will feel natural.
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  47. I love this conversation. If I could offer my perspective, I think a really necessary solution to all of society’s problems is a standard where we teach in depth about triggers and emotional regulation. Idk what the school systems are teaching nowadays but I don’t remember learning anything about how to deal with feeling triggered. Ultimately, there’s a lot of things we could do collectively to make more intelligent (and emotionally intelligent) adults. Thank you for these videos xoxo
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  48. There are times when you see peoples comments being super similar on similar topics you wonder "oh god am I the one human commenting amongst a bunch of fake people?" And then you have that whole existential crisis from there and yadda yadda the tin foil just found its way on to my head.
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  49. Awww I had a feeling you were going to say you got your Doctorate the moment you started off saying "I'm Dr. Ana" !!!! What an amazing feeling!!! Congratulations on your graduation; definitely adding your book to my to-buy list and really looking forward to continue supporting your channel & future research! ♡
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  50. Little nuggets of everyday wisdom delivered eloquently and unpretentiously with science, relatable examples and actionable advice. Your channel is such a therapeutic and healthy outlet to unwind to after a long day's work. Thank you for being a shining beacon for the lost and the empty.
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