Comments by "j0elsuf" (@SirJoelsuf1) on "Cole Hastings" channel.

  1. We haven't NEEDED purpose for a long time. A lot of "purpose" has been thrust upon us and we've been fighting against it. That's what leading lives in quiet desperation is about. You need to "extract" hopelessness from somewhere, and most of it is from the perpetual high school that stuff like social media has become. You don't need to change the world, you just need to make sure that you and those who are important to your life are happy and safe. But because communication is now so constant, we're tricked into believing that if you aren't perfect and trying to make the next groundbreaking new cool thing that will save the world, you're a total degenerate loser.
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  2. Yeah. That's why I don't take Cole too serious. Love the production of his content, but none of it has much substance. This kid never had to deal with any REAL adversity and it shows. A lot.
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  3. Not gonna lie, I've been wrestling with this kind of stuff for most of my life. I'll be 40 in three months. Still living check to check, still one bad break away from moving back in with my folks and just rotting away there lol. Part of me doesn't care. After seeing my dad die from cancer right in front of me months after I turned 24, I literally stopped caring about everything. Was like "eh, I'm gonna get cancer and die when I turn 50 so who gives a shit?" So I didn't do shit with my life, just partied, dicked around on 4chan, watched hours of pr0n daily, went to college literally just so I could party and bowl on the team, took hard drugs while working grave shift at a gas station. Not a care in the world...Far as I was concerned I was dead by 50 anyways. That part will NEVER go away. It's SO easy to slip into fatal nihilism after something like that. Counselors/Therapists haven't helped. Seen about 35 of em, very little progress. I'm just trying to rebuild everything right now. Don't know how I'm gonna do it, don't have a lot of help, but I really don't care. I like it that way. That said, I don't regret much. I did a LOT of stupid shit until 35 or so but it was all meant to be anyways. I mean yeah if I made different moves would things be better? Who the hell knows. So why waste time/energy trying to figure it out?
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  4. Cole was spot on with 7:30 - 8:30 about the difference between being genuinely good and being a simp/stan.
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  5. This whole thing just tells me that we're seeing the beginning of all the horrible secondary effects of social media and other ways of mass communication. It's bringing out the perpetual angsty high schooler in nearly all of us. Those who will proper will be able to control social media and not let social media control them.
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  6. Cole has most of this wrong. We're not seeing a rise in individualism, we're seeing a rise in groupthink philosophies, which is actually worse. Just because we're not doing the stuff we used to do anymore doesn't mean individualism is on the rise. Especially when communication has become so widespread and on autopilot that anyone with a stupid opinion can amass a cult like following. This phenomenon shows a LACK of individualism and critical thinking. As someone who had to read and do term papers on Bowling Alone, Putnam's argument was that there are communities that are intentional and communities that aim to achieve groupthink, aka cults. Cole didn't once explore this dichotomy and that is disappointing. And yes, even as early as 2000 this kind of stuff was happening. We don't have communities anymore. We have cults, and that is thanks in large part to a LACK of individualism or more Schmoozers than Machers.
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  7. I feel like I'm the opposite. I tend to be way TOO active and I'll often lift/run at the expense of doing other productive stuff. Like I'll take time off work just so I can go for a run or go to the gym. Then I'll feel guilty after lol
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  8. No. Traditional therapy was designed by women for women. More and more research is beginning to show that physical activity in and of itself can work just as much if not better than any form of SSRIs for dudes. "Traditional" therapy is designed for the patient to release a lot of tension by talking about their problems then taking medication that alters the wiring in their brain. That's all well and good...if you are a chick and you are waaaaaay more emotional than any dude ever will be. But us dudes operate differently, we are wired differently, and traditional therapy can only do so much.
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  9. Tate straight up acts like a chick. Acts like a total diva. I've had this impression of him since day one. There is NOTHING masculine about going out of your way to attack others. That is a FEMININE trait. Always has been always will be. Unless you are defending someone who is important to you who can't defend themselves or who asks you for help. Then that's masculine. Any boy who has a life goal of triggering bra burners on the internet would change their tune in seconds if a bra burner jumped their bones. I have SEEN this happen. Would happen to Tate as well. I can tell.
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  10. There are only FOUR things that make you "masculine:" 1) Being responsible for yourself/those who YOU think are important to you no matter what 2) Absolutely REFUSING to be a victim no matter how bad things are 3) Not giving a FLYING SH1T about all the BS going on around you and just moving on 4) Helping others regardless of their background without seeking their approval Emotions and being physically tough or aggressive doesn't have as much to do with it as many think. Stuff like being macho, to me has always been a feminine trait. A toxic one, too. Since everyone I've been around who has acted macho have always smacked me of someone who is just begging for approval/validation. But those four pillars mentioned above? Those PROVE masculinity. Look at someone like Brian Tracy, for example. Here's a guy who is about the furthest from macho but no one would EVER question that he DOESN'T have masculine traits. And guess what, those four pillars are based from what I got from his book, Maximum Achievement.
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  11. Agree with all of that except the last line. I don't trust my gut when I make a move, I just do it and deal with the consequences later. I mean if the chick isn't having it I'll back off but when it comes to making move that "gut" feeling is just more propaganda brought on by the new alliance of fake tradcons and bra burning Karens who still think monogamous marriage is a good idea for society lol
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  12. I've come to the conclusion that looking to ANYONE for validation is pretty much abusive. Abusive to yourself and others since you're literally trying to force words/actions out of others to attempt to make yourself kind of feel better. And its abusive to yourself because the action of looking to others for validation pretty much says that you openly dislike yourself and want to be someone else.
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  13. I always felt like it should be changed to "let modernity be, embrace masculinity." Having a "live and let live" outlook is INCREDIBLY masculine. LGBTs aren't delusional or anything, they're just dealing with things the way they think is best. Sure SOME of them go out of their way to endanger the livelihoods of those not of their kind but that's a tribalist issue which transcends sex/gender/race/age/whatever. Attacking stuff? Not masculine at all. In fact that's toxic femininity since you seek approval when you attack stuff and all forms of approval seeking is toxic femininity.
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  14. I kinda disagree with that. Discovering Stoicism actually improved my mental health quite a bit. But yeah it doesn't mean you should NEVER feel ANY emotions. Just make sure you are AWARE of em haha
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  15. 12:30 Oh yeah, that kind of jealousy ran my life for the LONGEST time lol. I used to literally jealous of everyone around me to the point where I literally thought there was a conspiracy against me, not a good place to be. But as soon as I started asking "yo what if those who I am jealous of are jealous of ME? That would be funny." Then I started to believe it.
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  16.  @ColeHastings  How so, Cole? Most "therapists" do less than nothing.
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  17.  @jons4934  Why would she be homeless because she drank, smoked, and partied? My last gf was a travel nurse who made $125k a year and she drank, smoked, and partied. Responsibly, but she still did that stuff. Like AT LEAST 90% of any given western chick over 16 drinks, smokes, and parties...often well into their 60s.
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  18. I'm a pretty meh looking dude and because of that, I only really expect to get with meh looking chicks. Makes me glad I'm as old as I am. If I was just a decade younger I don't know how things would be. And I'm not a fan of Betterhelp and honestly, not a big fan of modern therapy as it is. It uses way too much jargon and next to none of it is truly useful. I've seen right around 30 different therapists in my life. That's a lot of time and money wasted from therapist after therapist who were like "oh you have ____, take these pills for it." REAL therapy is done when you understand that you have a deck stacked against you and ENJOYING it. Everything changes when you do that.
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  19. That's pretty cool but I've grown to be VERY distrustful of therapists/counselors. Not sure if you are the type of therapist who pushes your patients to do group therapy or get antidepressants, but the ones I have seen did...constantly. And ngl as someone who practically needed to BE his own therapist, I'm committed to stopping it. I've seen nearly 30 different therapists in my life, both dudes and chicks. All but TWO pushed group therapy/antidepressants onto me, as if they were selling me something. Because of this, I have grown to not only distrust modern therapists, but do all I can to bring them down because the work they are doing is backfiring. Consider this a challenge: Be better than who I've seen...if the nameless and faceless organizations you deal with will let you.
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  20. Whatever. Just take another bath in all the money you made when you made Chocolate Rain.
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  21. Anyone else experience crippling anxiety when doing this stuff? I can't start it without feeling incredibly guilty about all the dumb shit I've done.
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  22. You already DO have a good relationship: The one you have with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and prefer it.
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  23. Did you check out the chick for over 9069 centuries (or more than three seconds) before approaching? Based on your experience, I can guess that the answer is probably yes. Checking out chicks before approaching em will ALWAYS make ANYONE creepy no matter what they look like.
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  24. Cole doesn't know. Do you expect him to? I mean I'm a fan, but like at least 3/4 of Cole's content is semantics with some jargon and some public studies made on a VERY small sample size thrown in.
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  25. At 26? Are you kidding me? It isn't too late at 46 let alone 26.
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  26. Or you can focus on your responsibilities, double down on those, and tell yourself that as long as you are focusing on your responsibilities, you are enough. That's what's worked for me for about a decade: It's what broke me out of my cycle of pr0n addiction, 4chan, social media, drinking, and suicidal thoughts that I struggled with for nearly 15 years in a row. Just asked myself "is this responsible? Am I doing the responsible thing here?" But yes I agree with your observation. Just venting at people in your life will get them to leave you. Quickly. While it is necessary to do that if you feel like shit (so you can get back to your responsibilities), you gotta offer some value in there.
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  27. Right there with you, that's cuz YouTube is pretty much like TV where you can surf channels/content etc.
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  28. LMAO that's what I said too. Meanwhile like everyone across the board has been having less sex over the last five or so years.
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  29. Well, 13 is for the late bloomers. If you actually study the Constitution and Charter, it actually says 5.
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  30. Fcuk me senseless, there is NO SUCH GOD DAMN THING as "hookup culture." It's just chicks being really hypersexual because they are "allowed" to be and even then it's incredibly rare for a chick to even BE hypersexual. Yeah I mean it's really stupid to judge anyone based on how much or how little s3x they are having and yeah it is REALLY STUPID for anyone over the age of 25 or so to think that way but that's what we've become. It's how social media as a main form of communication has changed us. High school never ends now and this dumb "culture" is part of it.
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  31. lol I agree. It isn't complicated at all. It's like learning how to bowl, play golf, or play poker. There are certain fundamentals that you need to possess and that's about it. The stuff you listed are some of them, I want to put down three more: 4. Learn people skills. How to talk to a total stranger as if you knew them for 5+ years. Best way to do this is to work a sales job for three months. And I mean a REAL sales job: Selling cars, appliances, etc. There are so many boys who don't know how to do this because they're just dicking around online all day trying to see how many lulz they can seek. 5. Organize your expectations, desires, and assumptions of yourself and with chicks. Especially assumptions holy sh1t. Make sure they are HEALTHY and not based on stupid nonsense. NO, that single mom doesn't automatically want you to take care of her kids. NO, that sorority chick isn't going to automatically shoot you down cuz you're not in a frat. NO, not every chick you come across is a raging bra burner who will accuse you of sexual assault after you wave at her. 6. Get TF out there. 16 to 20 per week. ANY chick you are attracted to. THAT is how many chicks a dude who is REALLY interested in improving their love/sex life should shoot for. Love how these dudes go "ZOMG I can't find any chicks!1!1!!1!1" then I ask them "well how many have you invited somewhere last week?" Their answer? Like 5 PER YEAR. Unbelievable.
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  32.  @monk4ever  Same here. Especially nowadays when most "discussions" are comprised of insults and prejudice no matter who it involves.
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  33. Absolute degeneracy. Just like MOST activist groups over the last 20-25 years or so.
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  34. Don't need it if you are young (under 35). So yeah, if you are under 35, just do the work. Life under 35 should be all about establishing a good foundation when it comes to your physical health, mental health, finances, and love/sex life. After 35, after gaining all that life experience...you'll see the "dove" appear no matter what happens. And you'll know how you need to contribute and who you need to contribute to.
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  35. Do things without needing the permission of others. If they get upset or something, get some information as to why they are upset and attempt to de-escalate the situation if necessary. Not too difficult to understand.
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  36. LMAO I'm one of em! I plan to just casually date until I croak. And monogamous marriage (in the west at least) isn't for ANYONE.
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  37. And dang, this video defined my entire 20s haha. My overly nihilistic viewpoints and constant suicidal thoughts were the icing on the cake. Nearly offed myself probably 3 times, felt like I've been on borrowed time since 30 or so but it's all good now. I gotta rebuild a lot of stuff in my life but it's all good, I'm enjoying myself doing it and don't really care what others think.
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  38. And what Cole is saying at the 10:30 mark is spot on and a lot of dudes don't pay attention to it. Looking to anyone (especially chicks!) for validation, as a man, is straight up abusive. To yourself and others. Cuz now you're tasking them to practically save you from yourself, which...yeah, I'd say that's abusive. Telling someone to do something for you and not making it clear. Oh AND you don't know them either. Not cool.
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  39. Affirmations accomplish the exact reverse of what they are intended to accomplish.
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  40. Yeah that's cuz you take yourself too seriously. I used to have that problem too. After I started telling myself "hell, am I THAT important?" I started overthinking a lot less and taking a lot more action.
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  41. Yup. That's how it is for VPNs as well. That and the Chinese have their hands in cryptocurrencies too. They know exactly who has what and in a few years they will start hacking into the wallets of those who have crypto to start building their world government. Although China has their hands in the other stuff too. Just not as much.
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  42. Monogamy was never natural. Monogamous relationships are designed to end. Tell me this: Can you eat and drink the exact same thing, without ANY alterations, for years on end? Probably not. That's why monogamy isn't natural. And it's why relationships fail. ESPECIALLY because communication is so widespread.
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  43. Even worse then "be yourself."
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  44. "Echo Chambers, or Bubbles, have become the norm." THIS. And guess what, this isn't a new thing, not by a longshot. Been like this for about 50 some odd years, we just haven't had all this hypercommunication back then.
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  45. I'm just glad I'm not seeing an Established Titles ad in this 🤣🤣
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  46. Agree with most of that except that social media was obsolete the day it was invented. Social media was perfectly fine before stuff like feeds and likes became a thing in the early 2010s. When I was on MySpace in the 2000s it was a really good way to keep in touch with buddies who I lost touch with. fb was really nice for creating groups in college and stuff. But then it started hitting diminishing returns. But yeah, the Halo and CoD franchise have NEVER been good. For every decent FPS game (Goldeneye 64, Perfect Dark), there are at least a hundred horrible ones. Its the same with movies...only that's over the last 40 or so years actually.
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  47. ...Why? So you can be at the mercy of THEIR opinions? So you can be burdened to do stuff on THEIR terms? Solitude is freedom. Learn to enjoy (and prefer!) your own company.
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  48.  @ColeHastings  Cole, you oughtta know better. Hamza is a charlatan influencer. Creates fictional characters to get others to follow his worldview and ideals. I suggest you cut ties with him because I get very bad vibes from him. I get the feeling that Hamza doesn't practice what he preaches behind closed doors.
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  49. Kinda sucks you feel that way. But allow me to give you a better perspective cuz I think you need it. Ironically, creepy boys tend to have very low testosterone. In fact, the whole agenda of "be an alpha male or kys" comes from boys who aren't alpha themselves and are a weird combination of macho and cowardly. Being alpha (which is way more about being a leader than it is being a bully; in fact, bullies are the exact opposite of alpha; I tend to call them "Machomegas" since they're omega males who just act tough) and having high testosterone levels have nothing to do with any of that. I have slightly higher than average testosterone for my age and I'm extremely polite (like Mr. Rogers polite lol) to everyone I come across. Look at Cole; he has high testosterone levels and he comes across as a very polite guy. What does that say about him? I also know dudes who have high testosterone levels who are also gay. So what does that say about them? I think you've been exposed to too much philosophies from fringe communities online who often connect testosterone to proper or improper men's behavior when testosterone levels have nothing to do with any of that. Try to separate what you read online from what actual researchers say.
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  50. Funny you say that since Cole collaborates with Hamza a lot.
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