Comments by "j0elsuf" (@SirJoelsuf1) on "Cole Hastings" channel.

No one is entitled to anything.
1
And if Cole is gonna read this: Could you PLEASE put in your stupid little sponsored link thing at the END of your videos? No one wants that kind of interruption, no matter how "relevant" you might think it is.
1
Ehh, for me its the opposite. The fear of doing ONE push up wrong keeps me from doing 100. Or 300, or 500, or whatever the goal is for the day. Perfectionism + OCD = NO action and like over 9069% Nihilism. It's pretty much been a full time job for me my whole life.
1
John Anthony Lifestyle made about an hour long video about this, and I agree with that more than this. I don't take the red pill/manosphere crowd seriously. No one should. All it takes is for ONE chick to jump their bones and they'll backpedal on EVERYTHING they talk about. I can tell from how they act. They're weak, they know it, and they do all they can to hide it. Same thing with the bra burners by the way. They're weak victims too. All it takes is for ONE dude to sweep em off their feet and all of a sudden they'll backpedal ALL of their ideals in the snap of a finger. I've personally known people from both sides. They give that sh1t up real quick when they realize that their philosophies just make them more frustrated. And those who DO follow through on their ideals, choosing to weaponize them? Absolute degenerates. Aim to force everybody around them to adopt their ideals. Let's have Cole talk about THAT. Cuz if I had his following it is ALL I would talk about, this inquisition of sorts we are facing when it comes to activism.
1
Let's face it, most "self development/improvement" over the last decade or so is nothing more than mental masturbation. This isn't what guys like Brian Tracy or Anthony Robbins were ever behind. REAL self development/improvement is about detecting a problem in your life and taking ACTION on it. Not wondering if you're acting the way you are supposed to then going through stupid rabbit holes of studies that don't relate one iota to your life. This is coming from someone who attempted to 0ff himself three times in his life: Here's the REAL secret. There are only TWO entities you EVER need to impress: Yourself and whoever supports your livelihood. That's about it. Once I figured that out, it was bye-bye to my bad mental health. Cuz let's face it, this weird culture we are living in wants us to impress EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. Even more so now because of the affect of social media on us, for better or for worse. But once I didn't really care about impressing others, it was like a weight was lifted.
1
If it was called the theory of attraction and not the law of attraction it wouldn't get mocked so much I think. On that note, I'm in the "staunch denier" camp when it comes to this. Not only is the LoA a massive rip-off based on woo-woo, it also revolves around you straight up lying to yourself in most cases. To me, success has always been a combination of meaningful work and luck. Gotta put in the effort and be at the right place, in front of the right crowd, at the right time.
1
That doesn't really replace sex tho
1
Probably gonna get some heat for this, but take some time to pay attention here before getting at me. As someone who dealt with depression and shitty mental health (anxiety, mood swings, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts) for nearly 15 years (from 18 to 30 or so), nearly any given form of shitty mental health is a choice. It's all about being responsible or not. Believe it or not it's THAT binary, despite what the hacks, swindlers, and drug lords known as the mental health industry would have you believe. Never forget the words of Thomas Szasz: There is no such thing as mental illness; just a lack of responsibility. Took me a LONG time to figure that kind of thing out. The more responsible I am, the less time I have to BE depressed. The less time I have to think about offing myself (or others). The less time I have to think about worrying about whether I'm good enough or not. Again, this is coming from someone who not only struggled with suicidal thoughts from my late teens all the way until 30 or so and even though I have never been diagnosed, I have traits of Asperger's, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and even Intermittent Explosive Disorder. So I know what I'm talking about, and I'd wager that I know what I'm talking about more than any "expert" out there. Yes we need to more away from the narrative of "man up, stop being a bitch" when it comes to mental health for dudes. Cuz there is NO substance in that statement. However, the only thing that really needs to change is the language. The message is fine. Swap "man up, stop being a bitch" to "Make the responsible choice, you are worth being responsible" and we're good.
1
Cole oughtta pin this comment cuz good god DAMN is it accurate. I had this observation after seeing my 30th counselor about a decade ago. It was then and there that I decided that I needed to be my own damn therapist/counselor. Was sick of getting the poison known as antidepressants pushed on me.
1
During my sophomore year I had 5 at one point. 19 credit hours total. Or 17. Can't remember. But like Cole said its pretty common.
1
Yeah that's a thing in Northern Europe: They want to keep populations low so their governing systems can actually work and having a population of way more chicks than dudes is one way to achieve that.
1
Damn, he actually did haha
1
You're...17. Plenty of time to do what you need to do. I can tell one mistake you made and I made the exact and I mean EXACT same one when I was a 17 year old stupid kid: You developed a crush on a chick. Gotta understand that doing that is the closest thing to being abusive (towards yourself and the chick) without actually being abusive and I actually mean that. Not cool, the earlier you learn that lesson the better. Its alright to appreciate a chick. Perfectly cool to say "you know what, you're better than the other chicks I come across" but leave it at that. Catching feelings like that and looking to a chick for validation like you want her to replace your mom or something? Bad move. Here's a goal you should set, something my dumbass should have done when I was 17: Make it a point to invite at least five to ten chicks out on a date per week. Assuming the school you go to is pretty big, this shouldn't be a problem. Get shot down? Here's a good line to react to save your embarrassment: Right on, that's cool. Sorry if that came off as weird, I made a new years resolution to get a better partner than the last one I had. So I'm just trying to get out there. You can also say something like "Gotcha. Sorry if I bothered you, I just made it a point this year to be more outgoing. Didn't mean to make you a part of that or anything haha." And damn, WTF are you doing in college at 17? I was 19 my freshman year...too early in retrospect. I should have started college at 25 lol.
1
10:05 Not sure about Elon or Jocko, but when it comes to Goggins anyone can and SHOULD be like him. I've read his book and he had to be incredibly resourceful and had to practically risk his life to get where he was at today. Goggins was all about pushing yourself just a little bit past whatever your perceived limit is. Anyone can and should do that all the time. But no that doesn't mean you suck if you can't run 100 mile marathons lol. It DOES mean you suck if you keep telling yourself you are a victim of stuff and not overcoming that. There's nothing wrong with telling yourself that you suck at something as long as you know what it takes to suck less and have a clear road map to get there, like what Goggins had to do.
1
Is Cole talking about Brian Tracy? This story seems eerily familiar to Tracy.
1
What areas? If it's chicks, I recommend John Anthony Lifestyle if you're having trouble finding a date or Caleb Jones if you're already in a relationship and want to make it a successful relationship.
1
I feel like Cole should rename this video "Why Shiny Object Syndrome is Making You Miserable" since this is more about that kind of phenomenon than freedom and options.
1
Yeah measuring your self worth with those terms is dumb. Just get your happy ass out there, see what you get, then go from there. Boys who obsess about that kind of stuff couldn't approach a thousand chicks in a year if you PAID them, let alone go out with any. Meanwhile I don't care about any of that and I do just fine with the opposite sex as long as I choose to get out there.
1
I got just one word for all the BS we gotta deal with today: ...Bruh.
1
Soooo...just accept that they have certain social advantages and just deal with it. Every race/gender/whatever has their own set of social advantages. Dudes can get away with stuff that chicks can't get away with. Chicks can get away with certain stuff that dudes can't get away with. Big deal. Just let it be. I say stuff like this to weird "manosphere" tradcons and their equally weird bra burner Karen counterparts all the time. The more you obsess over who has more "privileges" the less everyone around you respects you. One of my bowling buddies is OBSESSED with this stuff. Good dude, but boy does he get insufferable. The result? I have 0% trust in him. Claims he makes a lot of money yet ALWAYS asks EVERYONE around him for money and gets super defensive whenever he owes anyone anything. A bunch of us wanted to get our team to bowl in a tournament. Was $40 per guy. When it was time for him to pay, he got more defensive than a 2 year old. And he's 41. This is what happens when you obsess about how society treats different groups of people. Just let that sh1t go. It doesn't affect you. Never will. No matter what any degenerate activist tells you.
1
Preach on! They were nothing but a way for theocracies to control others. I love how both the red pill crew AND the bra burners both agree on that...for the most part, anyways. lol
1
I'm only 4 years younger than you and if I discovered online dating 15 years ago instead of 10 years ago, I would have STDs they wouldn't have names for lol. And if I was pushing 30 instead of pushing 40 knowing all I know how? Same thing. I'd be in some trouble lol. Some dudes are just good at chicks. Most aren't. The ones like me who are good literally don't care about the details. A chick is either down or she ain't. To me it is WAY EASIER to get with chicks now than when I was growing up. I mean fcuk me, when I was in high school and the first few years of college I had to physically go out of my way to approach chicks. It's NOTHING like that now. Now, if I wanted to, I could just make my profile look way better, spend a half hour or two swiping on chicks, then all of a sudden I got a date. No, the date won't be with a super attractive chick but I don't care because I myself aren't super attractive. Boys overcomplicate this shit too much.
1
My man convincing me to stop going to the gym so I can get back to dicking around on the misc while binging Delray Misfits documentaries in the background...
1
First of all, for the love of every deity in existence, can we PLEASE just say "offline" instead of "in real life?" Like good god damn, why is it a thing to say "in real life" instead of just "offline." 7:30 Yeah Cole, that's a unicorn. Those kinds of chicks haven't existed for about 40-50 years now lol. Might sound cynical, but its just how our culture has changed. For better (it is now possible and even encouraged to talk about sex with chicks now which incidentally gets most of em extremely horny cuz most chicks are "allowed" to express their sexuality now lol) and for worse (chicks now have sky-high expectations of dudes but generally aren't willing to improve themselves). Some of the stuff here is good, most of it sucks. Five seconds is way too long to wait to approach (three seconds is the longest you can wait and yeah, chicks notice this), you should never NEVER physically ask a chick to be your girlfriend/partner/whatever (those terms speak of a culture that does nothing more than create unnecessary expectations), and buying chicks gifts is incredibly passe to the point where it can and will be counterproductive. The best way you can SHOW a chick you are going out with that you enjoy what she is bringing is to simply ACT like a good dude towards her, a dude who is willing to show affection and drop his guard, but who she can also feel safe around. Make sure she orgasms AT LEAST once during sex/fooling around. I personally aim for at least two orgasms. If the chick "can't" orgasm that is a blood red flag btw. And if you don't know how to make a chick orgasm then my man, you need to work on that, straight up. Chicks are getting to a place where they are now "allowed" to value sex just as much as dudes. Plenty of PDA when you are around others but not in a forceful way. Talk to her about stuff that still affects you to show her that you are willing to drop your guard. Treat her like she is one of your boys but give her just that much more attention/affection. Chicks LOVE that at least in my experience. And five to ten dates before sex? Bruh. Just...bruh. Even CHICKS would laugh at this.
1
99%*
1
19:45 While this DOES seem unfair, it HAS to be that way. And it isn't even dudes judging other dudes that way. Most of that comes from chicks. Chicks want dudes who are experienced. Shows that they have value. So yeah, just like you should have certain financial milestones by certain ages, you also need to have certain sexual milestones by certain ages. Same with athletic stuff like weightlifting, running, etc. Not a big fan of Andrew Tate since he is the biggest asshole I have ever seen on the internet since Jake Paul, but he was talking about this kind of stuff on this platform and he's not wrong about it. Dudes need to prove to the world that they have value. Chicks look for it, dudes look for it, hell LGBTs look for it. In order to create value, you need to play the game...to a POINT at least. In this day and age you can't just meditate and "rise above" it cuz that doesn't PROVE anything. It's like someone living check to check saying that they're happy even though they aren't financially secure or someone who is overweight who claims that they are "happy" even though they are incredibly unhealthy. However! When it comes to sex, once your count is somewhere around 7 to 17 (depending on how educated you are on sex and sexual techniques etc) you are good to go. Just like you're pretty much good financially if you make around 90k a year and are generally healthy and fit if your body fat% hovers around 15% (or a BMI of 20ish). That's my opinion anyways. Exploring where the drop off among ourselves and preaching that among ourselves within our own confines would be MUCH better than Cole's VERY totalitarian solution that he described at the 23:40 mark when it comes to this stuff. Seriously, why is "Hey government! Make this stop!" The ONLY solution ANYONE has for ANYTHING anymore? Be better, Cole.
1
"No one can save you but yourself" Let's GOOOOOOOO
1
6:45 Yeah, that's a BIG problem that I have with the industry. A lot of these mental illnesses are straight up imaginary, yet are treated as serious as mental illnesses that are an actual god damn chemical imbalance. The industry KNOWS this, they profit from it, and even worse, they work with Big Pharma to make sure they give as many people as many happy pills as possible this way they REMAIN mentally ill and develop even MORE mental illnesses. This is gonna ruffle TONS of feathers and will rustle TONS of jimmies but I don't care. Thomas Szasz said it best: Mental illness is nothing more than a failure to be responsible. No pill or therapist can help you if you don't know what your responsibilities are and how you can approach them in a healthy way. But no one in mental health talks about this. Hmm, wonder why. Signed, a dude who had su1c1dal thoughts weekly from 18 until 30 cuz he was an irresponsible degenerate during those years
1
Your observation is half correct. Sex DOES come first before ANY "partner" behavior, vulnerability being one of them. It's a very good rule to follow as a dude. Why is it a good rule to follow? Cuz more and more chicks are being trained to act like dudes when it comes to sex. HOWEVER! It actually IS in a chick's nature to be supportive, even emotionally supportive. It's in their genetic code. But, but, but! It is only in their nature to be that way towards dudes who they KNOW can protect them (which in these modern days is signified with sex). So that needs to be handled first. Then you can be vulnerable. And that usually provides the icing on the cake. A lot of dudes mess this up, and that's what leads to observations like yours. Which again are half true. When I acquire a new partner, I aim to have sex first then be vulnerable. And of course establish a good connection before sex. Works very well. Chicks get aroused A LOT by vulnerable dudes who they have already had sex with.
1
These "Timidians" sound like assholes. Don't seem "friendly" at all.
1
I don't think any dude should be in any serious relationship until they're like 30-35, and even then that's only if they want to start a family. And even THEN the relationship BETTER be open and don't DARE get monogamously married. I mean if you want to its your funeral. When it comes to dating around and stuff? Anyone of ANY age should do that. Just cuz its one more fun thing to do that happens to be healthy. I mean unless you can stomach going dateless and sexless for decades on end and not wind up being a very unhealthy basketcase, then go right ahead.
1
@minabotieso6944 You've described...at least 95% of mental health counseling in any form of delivery, not just Betterhelp.
1
See, Cole changing the title knowing that a better title would get more hits is probably why I'll never get a lot of hits on my own channel. My title for this would be: You Don't Know Shit, You Never Knew Shit, And If You Don't Like That Then You Definitely Don't Know Shit.
1
Think of it this way... The religious right in the 1970s/1980s crawled so Modern day feminist man haters could walk. Modern day feminist man haters walked so Red Pill groups could run. Anyone who is bought into red pill stuff needs to understand that they are getting third rate bootleg content from people who just want you to stroke and suck their ideologist dicks. Same degenerate activist rhetoric, same emphasis on external problems in lieu of addressing internal ones, same groupthink...degeneracy. Sorry, degeneracy is pretty much the only thing I can think of when I think of any activist group to exist over the last quarter century or so, Red Pill groups included and Red Pill groups more than most because of how much they betray themselves in their actions and how much they swindle their own public. I remember saying this kind of stuff on Red Pill platforms and getting IP banned. Just like I said similar stuff on the "woke" groups and got banned the exact same way. Dissenters be damned: Your sense of individuality and ability to see gray areas in everything around you isn't welcome here. Makes sense to me, it's been that way for decades. I have a background in history and know about these groups more than most in how they operate. The way these groups think and operate goes WAAAY back. And it is a VERY bloodstained past they all share.
1
As someone who dealt with depression and shitty mental health throughout most of his 20s, this is accurate. And I'd go as far as to say that even CLINICAL depression is a choice. It's all about being responsible or not. Believe it or not it's completely binary, despite what the hacks, swindlers, and drug lords known as the mental health industry would have you believe. Never forget the words of Thomas Szasz: There is no such thing as mental illness; just a lack of responsibility. Took me a LONG time to figure that kind of thing out. The more responsible I am, the less time I have to BE depressed. The less time I have to think about offing myself (or others). The less time I have to think about worrying about whether I'm good enough or not. Again, this is coming from someone who not only struggled with suicidal thoughts from my late teens all the way until I turned 30 and even though I have never been diagnosed, I have traits of Asperger's, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and even Intermittent Explosive Disorder. So I know what I'm talking about, and I'd wager that I know what I'm talking about more than any "expert" out there.
1
@Nikos Zachary Even Goggins himself says to just go a little bit beyond. Has a whole exercise dedicated to it in his book.
1
Hell of a presentation, unsettlingly accurate. Makes me feel lucky that I'm 40 and not 20. If I was 20 years younger, I would have been like the TempleOS guy: Natural genius, but would have been too caught up in stuff to make anything of myself and probably would have offed myself. Instead I'm just some Boomer dumbass who sucks at everything except writing which I'm kind of good at and I am perfectly fine with that! lol
1
No Fap is dumb. Sure, its a good idea to go without playing with yourself for a few days but its not gonna magically get chicks to leap on your cock. Still need to take action. Still need to get your happy ass out there and invite chicks out on dates. Still need to put yourself in positions where you can meet potential partners. I think what happens with a lot of the no fap cult is that they simply swap out physical masturbation for mental masturbation.
1
That used to happen to me. But then I started saying to myself "What's so wrong with no one coming to save me? Why don't I save my damn self? I wouldn't need to be at the mercy of anyone!"
1