Comments by "" (@kellygreenii) on "PsycHacks" channel.

  1. It’s also about the assurance of paternity. If a woman is more likely to cheat, any child she has is less likely to actually be yours. The higher the body count the less likely she’s able to form stable LTRs…and she’s a bad investment as far as any sort of committed relationship.
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  2. The best cure is learning to notice “choosing signals”. It is vastly easier to approach women who are already showing interest. Than trying to generate interest in women who are indifferent or even hostile.
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  3. Yep. NEVER say anything behind someone’s back that you are not willing to say to their face. Life gets really simple and really peaceful…
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  4. Something tells me she stayed….
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  5. Which is why you never make pleasing them the center of your world. Create the life you enjoy, and then see who shows up. …and if they stop enjoying it, show them to the door.
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  6. It’s the same thing that kids and other people’s who have not had to learn about power go through. The see the privileges that go with power, but don’t see and don’t want the responsibility that goes with it…and you can’t have one without the other. So—as a guy—I see so many women demanding the privileges and powers that have traditionally been reserved to men…. …but then howl and rage at the responsibilities that were always part of the package. How’d we get here. In rebelling against biology-as-Destiny, we’ve made a pathologic pendulum swing to the other extreme: biology doesn’t matter. Both are wrong. Biology is “TENDENCY”. Which is why so many women (not all) are so miserable as they find themselves required to take on the traditional RESPONSIBILITIES of being a man. Or the wheels come off their lives because they refuse to take them up, and only want the privileges.
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  7.  @Captain_MonsterFart  Yes. But men are open about the fact that the women they simply want to sleep with are not the same as those they’ll consider marrying. Women too often seem to try to turn the men that they want to sleep with into being the kind of man they want to marry…and that never ends well.
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  8. But the problem is that most women are being socialized to see marriage as a power struggle: I have to fight him to get equal treatment…. So everything gets seen through a victim lens, and her every bad feeling is his fault….
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  9. …and you’re asking someone to engage in what has become a high risk behavior for a reward that is increasingly not worth the risk. I once told a female co-worker who was loudly having a conversation in my presence about hair color. I’m made the mistake of saying off-handedly, “I think the best color (for a woman) is the one Mother Nature gave her….” Just a general comment. Nothing remotely personal. The result. I got (literally) cursed out. I got loudly cursed out for basically giving an indirect compliment…and people were looking at her as if she’d lost her mind… Who in their right mind would risk asking her out and having to deal with the apocalyptic consequences of her not being interested? Anyone?
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  10. Ding! We have a winner. The successful women who wind up (happily) married to successful men? KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF that competitive, driven energy when they come home. They come home and slip back into their feminine. As a guy, being with a woman who can’t do that? Is about as appealing as being a woman married to a military man who can’t turn of the urge to bark orders at people. Bringing that home is toxic and tiresome to those around them. The last thing he wants to do after a long day of fighting to wrangle resources from the world is come home to another power-struggle. This time over who leads the dance of their personal lives. That’s a headache and a stressor that a man will eventually get tired of having to deal with.
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  11.  @leeolie3728  No. You get up and walk away. She can’t have a fight by herself…and trying to control (“check”) her behavior only add fuel to the fire. There is no (legal) way you can force her to respect you or your boundaries. The most powerful form of rejecting her bad behavior is simply ignoring her and it…by just walking away. Because you are denying her the very thing she wants: attention.
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  12.  @andrewmackenzie325  Laugh all you want. I have a very happily married sister who IS happily married, because she realized that same thing. Leave that competitive energy outside of the relationship with her husband. The problem too many women are too stubborn and too proud to be willing to do that. But then she also chose WISELY.
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  13.  @HelloWorld-cq1sq  both aspects have their dark and light side. The problem is that our culture has declared it “anti-woman” to set any sort of limits on a woman’s behavior. No matter how selfish, toxic and immature it is.
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  14.  @hiannahgus574  No, it isn’t. It’s an accurate assessment of a toxic group dynamic. The common practice of women trying to shame men who speak unflattering truths is another such dynamic. Shall we continue? I’m very good at this game….
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  15. Exactly. It means you are in relationship with someone of sound character. People of good character act with integrity. Move according to principles rather than pure desire or self-interest. Which makes them predictable. They do what they say. They say what they mean, and they are consistent. If you want “excitement” you are basically selecting for people who either have poor character or are mentally ill.
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  16.  @scottverge938  Women move on emotion. So asking them to explain rationally why they do what they do is a frustrating waste of time. Society doesn’t require them to discipline those emotions so a lot of them never do it. But biology and psychology drive those emotions. So if a woman has an opportunity to get with a man she feels is more attractive or higher status than you? She’s going to dump you, unless she has learned to discipline her biology/emotions, and honor commitments. If she is feeling some void or inadequacy in herself (every supermodel seems to have a midlife meltdowns as her beauty fades, and the power that it gave her goes with it)? She may use sex and the validation of men as a drug to self- medicate that pain. So her betrayal is not personal…and since she’s high on the feel-goods? She will ruthlessly feel no regrets…until the crash back down to reality arrives. This is why it’s important to ignore what most women say…and watch what they do. Watching what they do will show you what those instincts and emotions are pushing them to do…and what they truly want on that gut level.
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  17.  @LisaMarie-eh7up  Because feminism has turned that word into a curse word. You submit to authority/leadership. If you’ve ever worked for someone else? You submitted to your boss. If you’ve ever ridden in a car, you submitted to the person driving the car. Men submit EVERY DAY. It’s why we work so well together as teams. We submit our individual agendas to the goals of the team (hunting party). Men, when left to their own devices, organize ourselves into hierarchies. Women, organize themselves into circles. Which is fine in situations where it’s not a problem when there is no clear leadership. But when women try to run a marriage like it’s a circle, the vast majority come to resent the man for the lack of leadership and protection… they themselves asked to be created. Everyone has a right to do their own thing…when they are by themselves. The moment you join with someone else, YOU BECOME PART OF A TEAM…and you had to SUBMIT your personal agendas to the goals of the TEAM…and a team can only have one leader. Now that leader has to do the same thing. Even though he has authority, that authority comes with concrete responsibilities to those he is leading. He can’t be a tyrant. But you can’t do whatever you want whenever you want to. Teams fall apart in the face of that joins of selfishness.
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  18.  @dwdwone  LOTS of social interaction (get out from behind the screens). Lots of videos about body language and game. Pay attention to your gut. Women move on emotion.
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  19. It’s in short supply, period. Men just pay a higher price for it than women do. Because society has little tolerance of it from men.
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  20.  @popejaimie  Sorry you feel that way, but I’m not defined by your anger. Nor am I responsible for whatever it is you’re mad about
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  21. The fact that you get two different answers shows the fundamental disconnect between what they say they want, and what they respond to. Which is why I learned early on not to listen to what women say in the mating game, but watch what they do. Their actions speak the truth. Their words reflects their social mask, and what they think society wants to hear.
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  22. Even more basic. She wants the status and lifestyle that comes with you, but doesn’t want the costs or responsibilities that come with being with a driven, successful man. Which is why you don’t want to get caught up with a woman who doesn’t have a life outside of her relationships.
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  23.  @Zwammertje  Why do you women always need to make things about you? Whenever a guy talks about the behavior of a toxic woman it’s always “Well men do it too!!” I swear it’s like dealing with children. There is almost never any space for men to talk about their experiences without you trying to hijack it and make it either about women…or invalidate what the guys have to say Knock it off.
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  24.  @lorrilewis2178  Then you need to pay closer attention to how women behave outside your immediate circle, because it isn’t “baloney”. Hell you’re on a site where the creator—a clinical psychologist—-posted a video called, “Why Women Never Apologize.” I’ve been on this planet a half century. Had women do some really crappy things to me, and I can count on my fingers and toes the number of times women have apologized to me for things they did….and still have digits left over. That’s even including the “non-apology” apologies. There are women who have the strength of character to own up to their actions and genuinely apologize…but they are relatively rare. Hell even finding one who is willing to acknowledge she’s wrong and back down in an argument—even without an apology—is a rarity…and a woman worthy of a closer look.
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  25. They don’t get to eat their cake and have it too. They don’t get the satisfaction of being chased while also protected from ever being approached by someone they aren’t attracted to. Life doesn’t work that way. Because the guy one woman wants is a guy a number of women would never consider. So all men face rejection…and if you make the cost of it to be the destruction of your life? Men are going to stop doing it. Okay we’ll leave you alone. All of you
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  26.  @leeolie3728  Can’t be concerned by that. You can either be healthy…or popular…but not both. Especially if you are dealing with a toxic woman. Because society will make all kinds of excuses for women engaging in emotionally or socially aggressive behavior. The only way to win at an unwinnable game is not to play. Walk. Away.
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  27.  @lorrilewis2178  But that vision is not consistent with the biologically-driven desires of the vast majority of women. Women—as a group—lose attraction to, and grow to resent men who actually hand over those responsibilities to her. She starts to view him as a child rather than as a lover and a man. That is feminism’s failure. In trying to resist Biology-as-Destiny they fell into the trap of insisting that biology doesn’t matter…and ran into a wall of reality that didn’t care about ideology. A What Is that doesn’t give two shits about What Should Be.
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  28. Actually he is red pill. He’s just RP without all the other stuff mixed in. His analogy about women being like cats? Pure RP.
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  29.  @smarthalayla6397  Nah. You simply have women who want the freedom and power that come with modernity…but without the risk and responsibilities that go with them. They also want the protection and provisioning of tradition without having to give up anything in return for it. I always pay for dates. Because I can afford it, and it simplifies my life. But I’m not going to spend lavishly on a date. That’s a girlfriend benefit. If she has a problem with that, she knows where the door is and can show herself out. If there is no reciprocity—doing nice things for me in return to show affection and gratitude, like having me over to her place for a home cooked meal—— I will escort her to the door and ask her to leave. Go use someone else, dear.
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  30.  @Alexxx492  It’s easy to do. What makes it difficult is all the other expectations that women (these days) place on to of marriage. Women today expect one man to meet most of the needs that women used to get from extended family and a community of female friends. So they aren’t looking for a man. They are looking for a superhero.
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  31. I’ve similarly have had to deal with “handsy” women at work….but interestingly I’m largely invisible away from work and among those who don’t know my status as a professional. So I see both sides. The attention that men who are perceived to be high status can get….while also understanding how invisible average men can feel at times. The sad part is that these women are victims of their own device. Playing a game of musical chairs where most of them are going to be left without a chair when the music stops.
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  32. Sometimes. Or she honestly didn’t know better, and is trying to minimize what she did to soothe your feeling, and save face on her own part. But yes. Correct the behavior, and remind her where the boundary is. A good woman who made a mistake will respect you more for not tolerating her behavior. The toxic ones will double down…push back even harder….and now you know what you’re dealing with and can act accordingly.
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  33.  @lorrilewis2178  When you don’t understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. When you don’t understand the difference between defending one’s personal integrity, and combativeness. Many women don’t, and they engage in behaviors that would get a man engaging in them called a litany of swear words. “I’m strong and independent!” No, you’re just being a jerk in a society where calling women out for acting like jerks is considered “misogyny”. 🙄
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  34.  @BB-te8tc  None of that has anything to do with coffee. That’s someone who hasn’t gotten over their ex and has no business even dating… In fact coffee dates could lessen the length of time you get used to play your date’s therapist….
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  35.  @0rnery0verwatch  They were more mature in years past. Just not these days. You have a lot of 30-somethings who still move through the world like angry, entitled 15 year-olds.
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  36.  @lorrilewis2178  Stop seeing things in black-and-white, 0-or-10 fashion. Biology matters. Personal psychology matters. Social and family conditioning matter. Each person is a complex mixture of all three. So are group dynamics. The problem is when you try to dismiss or minimize the impact of one…and exaggerate the importance of the other. Feminism’s failure is that it wildly exaggerates the importance of family and social conditioning (the patriarchy) while minimizing the importance of individual psychology (responsibility, repetition compulsion from unhealed trauma). …and trying to ignore the biological. While 65 million years of mammalian evolution is laughing hysterically at the notion that 5000 years of civilization has somehow made our biology irrelevant (rather than simply inconvenient). Yes. You see those numbers. But they exist in the context of a society where 50% of marriages end in divorce. Eighty percent of which are initiated by women…ninety percent if she’s college educated. So we have a society where the dissatisfaction of women in marriage seems to be INCREASING as they take on more responsibility for leading family. Because our ideology (how things should be) has run afoul of the biology of intersexual dynamics (how things actually are). What her head wants is in conflict with what her gut/heart (instincts) want??
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  37.  @kenyanicholas6809  She isn’t. You—and many other women—-don’t understand at a gut-level the difference between a stereotype (which is always wrong) and a group dynamic (which is usually correct). So you are personalizing her comments on a group dynamic and reacting as if it were a stereotype. Group dynamics speak in broad terms, and have plenty of room for individual variation. Stereotypes don’t. I use the analogy of watching Wildebeests migrate. If you hover above them there is a way undeniable group dynamic. There is a herd..and that herd is moving in a very clearly definable direction. But zoom in…and not every wildebeest at any given moment is moving in the same direction as the heard. There is BOTH a clear group level behavior AND there is individual variation. But whenever you try to discuss these group dynamics with women, the tend to become very reactive and they instantly personalize and ASSUME you are stereotyping. What every heterosexual man quickly learns is that there is a disconnect between what women say they want….and what they actually attracted to. Sadly most women are blind to this dissonance. As one creator puts it, “What makes them happy is not the same as what makes them h*rny.” I realized that 20 years ago, and that if you wanted peaceful, functional relationships with women you needed to take what most of them say (determined by their feelings of the moment, or what makes them look good in the eyes of others) with a grain of salt….but closely watch what they do and what they respond to (who they really are, and what they actually want). If you WATCH how women behave, MOST women become more and more unhappy, the more leadership in the relationship they wrestle away from man. Because they lose respect for, and attraction to that man. (He’s like another one of my kids….). Plus they struggle with coping with the stress that comes with that responsibility. The irony is that a lot of men are happy to be rid of that stress, so they hand it over without much of a fight. In short these women typically want the freedoms they see that have traditionally been reserved to men…but resent the RESPONSIBILITIES that go along with them…and the world doesn’t work that way. They are a PACKAGE DEAL. Why is why society is starting to become more and more dysfunctional. If you give those same women a man that they truly admire and respect? They soften and happily accept his leadership. That was the first thing that struck me when I first heard my sister talk about the man she ultimately married…there was this tone of admiration in her voice that hadn’t heard in YEARS when she spoke of a man. My reaction was, “Wow, this is different.” He leads with a gentle and respectful hand, and she is happy as a clam. Been married going on 4 years and that admiration is still there. Because she isn’t trying to change him or turn the relationship into a power struggle.
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  38.  @Vannabee13  Again. Distinction where there shouldn’t be a difference. We all find more people attractive than we’d want a long term relationship with. So there is a natural sorting that goes with the dating process. But men do not mislead women as to what we consider attractive. Whereas misleading men about what women find attractive has the benefit of keeping men in her orbit based on the “possibility” of sex, who would otherwise move on and give that time, attention and resources to another woman. It’s an effective—if underhanded—-strategy. No different than a man stringing a woman along with sex in the vain hope of relationship (situationships).
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  39.  @Vannabee13  Thank you for telling me what I learned on my own decades ago. I stopped listening to what women say about love and sex, and I simply watch what they do. Their actions speak the truth. But the fact is that women—-as a groups—have numerous strategies that are geared towards gaining resources from men. Namely, time, attention, food, money, services, etc. Unless you have dated women and been on the receiving end of them, you just don’t get it. Some women it is probably intentional, for others, I believe it is instinctual and they aren’t even consciously aware they are doing it. Like you seem to be where misleading men about what women want is concerned. Misleading men is an effective mating strategy because men will try to deceive women about having those attributes. So it prevents men from gaming the system and leaving women vulnerable to that deception. Therefore making it easier to identify those men who genuinely have those traits.
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  40.  @ShimmerBodyCream  You just made my point for me. That it’s not in a woman’s self-interests to give a straight answer. Especially to a man she does not find attractive. “When you want to see a woman’s true nature? Watch how she treats a man who she feels has nothing to offer her.” Oh, and I’m not chasing anything. I’m just revealing the game for what it is, and that men can save themselves a lot of headaches by plugging their ears and instead opening their eyes. Women’s actions reveal the truth.
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  41. Not necessarily. Sometimes women simply want the dopamine hit of being made to feel attractive by an attractive/high-status man. So they may simply want you to flirt back, not have an affair with them.
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  42.  @Vision-dd8fl  Sounds familiar….and you did the right thing. Someone like that is emotionally damaged…and the behavior never gets any better unless there is a LOT of therapy involved. In fact—-without help—their bad behavior often escalates. Especially if they start to feel secure in the knowledge that you will tolerate it from them.
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  43.  @popejaimie  “But whatabout!!” Stay on the topic or stop posting to me. I’m not here to answer for everything some broken man with a broken character has ever done. Want better men? CHOOSE BETTER.
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  44.  @TheColourSplat Yes. A leader has a responsibility to be a good leader…and there are no leaders without followers.
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  45.  @lorrilewis2178  Missed the point completely. The individual woman that I’m speaking of is just an extreme example of how a lot of women handle conflict: shifting blame. Instead of simply apologizing, she tried to rearrange reality so that she was no longer responsible for her own actions. As is what you’re doing, in trying to muddy the waters and distract from the issue being discussed: “Well whatabout…” A red herring, and not relevant to the point I’m making about group dynamics.
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  46.  @Vannabee13  The problem isn’t that I don’t understand. The problem is that I DO understand what is going on and WHY it is happening. Misleading men reduces the chances of a woman being deceived about those attributes she finds attractive. Thus making it easier to identify those men who have them (better signal-to-noise ratio), and protect the investment women make in bearing and raising a child. IOW, the cost associated with choosing a poor partner is significantly higher for women than it is for men. So women have developed a number of safeguards against picking one (from an evolutionary standpoint). Which is why so many women pick the men they find attractive (good genes)….and then try to turn those men (so often unsuccessfully) into “relationship material” (stable parental investment). This is pure evolutionary psychology.
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  47.  @BB-te8tc  Then you aren’t really interested in the person. Which is exactly what a coffee date is supposed to expose. It’s not a flex to refuse such a date. It’s telling on yourself…
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  48.  @josealexi5141  No. That’s not how I roll. I’m old school. I won’t report you for yelling at me. Put your hands on me in a manner that is disrespectful? Different ball-game. She left a few weeks after that anyway. She’s someone else’s problem now.
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  49.  @popejaimie  No. But your welcome to keep trying to get out of the corner you’ve painted yourself into. I won’t be letting you out of it. Not will I be taking ownership of your baggage. Deal with it.
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  50. The difference on masculine vs feminine psychology. Men know they are disposable and carry a burden of performance. So if we don’t get the results we want, we try to figure out how to get better at the game. Many women do the opposite. When they don’t get what they want, they cry out their distress in an effort to get the game changes so that they get the results the want. But as women step into more roles that are traditionally male, that tendency becomes more dysfunctional. Because the stability of the society as a whole comes into play.
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