Comments by "Jack B" (@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing) on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" channel.

  1. The collective bargaining power of the Royal Jackals Union leaves something to be desired
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  2. Mayor of Swindleville, NJ.
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  3. And a Brain Scientist!
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  4. 9/10 Jon was committed 100% to the bit, but his dad lost his head, so I deducted 10% as well
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  5. These are, after all, the people who admired Roy Moore's game of being a mid 30's district attorney combing the high schools for Mrs Right. And then in the next breath, constantly claiming, inexplicably, that the other party has all the Chimo's. Almost like they were obsessed with underaged sex....because they keep bringing it up like they have a guilty conscience.
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  6.  @Jmp5nb  I won't lie though...when I lived in Killeen and San Antonio I got drive-through margaritas all the time. It was like using a carpool lane. You had to have a passenger and hand the drinks to them, the idea being that what you did with it from that point was none of their business. Also, I scored my first fake ID in San Antonio at a tattoo joint. They had a big sign in the window that said "Novelty Drivers Licenses", and had a picture of one with a back half that said "Novelty Only". But go inside, buy it for $25, and it sure as hell DID have a real Texas license back half added to it, despite the picture in the window. And there was even a cop in there yacking with the clerk when I walked in. I proceeded to get super drunk on the River Walk at 19 for the rest of the weekend. Texas is the very model of corruption hiding behind a flag they don't believe in, and retcon versions of the Bible that they do.
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  7. LOL, "Soul"
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  8. Writers just riding a bubble destined to burst
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  9.  @parha123  And why I got to enjoy 2 all-expenses paid vacations to Iraq and read the dog tags of 5 friends there. Hold up, let me grab a chair, this should be good... Come on Mr Smarty Pants, lets hear it. I remember having to sit 25 feet from Bush Jr while he made a show of eating an MRE in a giant circus tent with us at Ft Polk in '04. Real cute little display he put on before shipping us out and killing some of us off for his re-election strategy. I seem to recall 2 decades ago we had this problematic narrative about no exit strategy...
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  10. @Damien Vryce Capitalism has always been better suited to Feudalism than Democracy. There's a reason some folks still insist on being called a Land LORD, not a Retail Housing Provider
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  11. "And they PAY us to do this?!?"
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  12. You just know they've been saving these gags up for a while now.
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  13. For real. And sensible, clear rules about the burgeoning eBike movement. It should be encouraged but positively regulated. Not a DMV item. Some people can't have cars, and for many of those, buses, light rail, unassisted cycling, and walking won't cut it when you have to get from Point A to Point B to survive, and the DMV is a for-profit organization who's sole function is to prevent you from using a motor vehicle unless you pay up. I've seen a lot of ebikers have work ops open up because now they can get the 7 miles upslope to a job despite not having a license or bus route.
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  14. Stephen Miller looks like the Vegan version of Putin
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  15. When Google News still pimps Fox towards the top of your recommendations list, but not the Onion, which has a better record of reporting the facts, there's something wrong with the world
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  16. You don't tip him. You pay him protection money.
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  17. "He's gonna go through some things" Yes, yes he is.
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  18. Not to take the opposite side, BUT..... I don't buy most of the reports coming out of nations with competing economies in the Pacific Rim. Especially the 4 tigers. Saving face is everything not just to their trade and pride, but also their heads of state who wish to stay in power.
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  19. I shoulda known. Wally was a RealDoll sexbot this whole time. Nothing that handsome occurs in nature.
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  20. Most outrageous costume at the White House this year: Donald Trump as the POTUS
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  21. Seth: Rusty, did you just speak? Rusty: No. Seth: Wut? Rusty: Wut?
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  22. But Lewis, I always take a nap after having a nice stroke. That's just Bedtime Dude 101.
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  23. She looks like a good Joe.
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  24. The top 3 moderates added together in Nevada: 45% The Genghis Sander's Horde, all by themselves: 47% Your're terrible at math, Establishment Black Sabbath was right: The mob does, indeed, rule
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  25. You have to wonder how sick he gets of being asked for an autograph because someone just loved PeeWee Herman as a kid.
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  26. Reported for spam. Repeatedly copy-pasting the same comment everywhere is spam. So...reported for spam. If others do too, Algorithm will agree and OFF YOU GO.
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  27. I sat within shoe throwing disance of George Bush Jr twice in 1 day. I didn't boo him. He deserved it, but I didn't. I was simply happy to see him finally leave office after burying 5 of my friends because of his family grudge with Saddam. I would definitely boo Trump anywhere from in his face all the way to back here, thousands of miles away. In point of fact, I still am.
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  28.  @silencedogood5766  Get back in your cage, zombie
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  29. Welp, it took 155 years, but the South rose again, I guess
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  30. Season 9 of Portlandia could be better
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  31. And it feels like when Arsenio Hall would drag Eddie Murphy out
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  32. That Battlestar Galactica pull was completely fracked, yo
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  33. Hail Hydra, Y'ALL! - Doug Collins
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  34. I think that hat shot Tupac
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  35. When watering holes like Beulahland, The Acrop, and Star Bar get replaced with more overpriced condos, that will be the last nail in the coffin for The Dream of the 90's.
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  36. Is it wrong that I feel my social standing as a man is threatened by his Bon Scott alto & sotto voce? It's REALLY enjoyable
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  37. I would remind everyone the GOP are the people who proposed in the 80's that everyone with HIV be rounded up and put on an island to die Because they thought gay men were the source and wanted to 'protect their families' from a disease vector Edit: FYI, one of the most vocal advocates proposing the idea to congress was Ex Governor Mike Huckabee and his senate fanbois. Big shocker.
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  38. Agreed. Jennifer Lawrence getting wasty on Colbert's show was a complete giggle fest
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  39. It's a strange species of the Beiber genus, and part of the Kanye family of invertebrates. Extinct since late Paleo-Obama era due to overpredation by the Rebecca Black species and erosion of it's natural web habitat
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  40. I owned and sold two small businesses. And I'll never understand how people still fall for the Republican notion that a corporate chain is somehow a "small business". A family Bar, Restaurant, Barber, Garage, Thrift Shop. Those are small businesses. You can generally find the owner on the premises doing something like actual work. Just because the store front of your local Starbucks isn't very big, it doesn't make it a small business, and they had no need for our "small business struggle" taxpayer bailout. Neither did the coal company Hallador Energy.
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  41. Well, I'll be darned. Turns out I do kneel before Zod.
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  42. 3rd place, Copper Medal...Booby Prize. Ohhh, Boobies!
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  43. I should be upset about Super Tuesday 2020, but nope. Still hurting and Sleepless in Seattle.
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  44. Greetings, Child. Welcome to the pack.
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  45. Trumps the kind of asshole who parks his cart on the green
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  46. Trump completed his full 4 years. So don't cheer too much. It means we have serious problems, and won't survive a sequel.
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  47.  @peterwilson542  One of the more typical profiles they try to build around some counterfeit ethnic identity. In this case: the "Latinos for Trump" schtick. These guys have all the same signifiers. Generic white person name pulled from a phone book + inability to speak actual english or understand American idioms and pop culture references, a "playlist" of some music genre or video gameplay clips, etc etc They're all the same
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  48. It wasn't Banksy?? Man. Am I behind the times or what
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  49. Bro....
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  50.  @apseudonym  BRUH....ouch.
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