Comments by "Robert Morgan" (@RobertMorgan) on "Better Bachelor"
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It's also because older generations were fucking terrible at documenting their stuff! I work in a water plant that's 25 years old, I even still have original employees, and ALL THE TIME we run into shit that's not right, why is it like this, oh look this equipment was installed in 1999, failed in 2003, was replaced with a new spec item, the manual was never replaced, the serial not recorded, now it's failed again 15 years later and we have zero info, no specs, the original and as builts don't match, so you start over and respect everything because of course the replacement is no longer manufactured, it was discontinued 10 years ago, so spec a replacement, cool, now it's a 25 WEEK lead time because COVID. No shit, I'm waiting YEARS on critical, need it today equipment.
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That's why as a man you REDEFINE success.
She's successful, that's great, can I meet her husband and kids?
Oh she doesn't have those, then she's a failure. The point of a career and all that IS GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS.
Why would I buy a car if I don't want to drive?
I feel like a failure all the time, high powered career, wealthy, everyone likes me, but I'm 41, single, no kids, I have nothing I VALUE.
They need to think about what they value.
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Stories like this are why I'd love to be wealthy enough to have life on autopilot and just wander the country randomly helping people. Like coming across this guy on the side of the road, seeing his make and model, and coming back with a new radiator, some jugs of water, and a six pack, because why not?
Something small to me but huge to someone else. To me it's a Monday, to them it's the first day of a new life, not just because their material situation Improved, but because they now live in a world where sometimes, people DO help each other, and that's a better world.
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I've been saying this to anyone who will listen since I had the thought:
The only people who can have power over you are those you WANT something from. So if I want nothing from you, you have no power over me. No leverage, nothing to offer. All you can do is threaten, and that's a no-go for me.
In my work, I'm topped out at my organization, I've achieved all my goals there, and I'm maxed out on the pay scale, and there's nowhere to promote me, so when my boss gives me static, I remind him there's nothing here for me to be ambitious about, you have nothing to offer me, all you can do is try to threaten me with my job, and that's always losing strategy for someone who doesn't NEED said job.
They're locked in here with me, not the other way around.
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Men cry not for validation, but for TRUST.
If I cry in front of you as a man, that's probably the most trust I can ever place in you, as someone who does permitted confined space work where I literally rely on my coworkers for my life.
It'll either drive that person away forever, or forever bond you for life.
I still remember my best friends dad's funeral, huge event, and him as the eldest son had to portray absolute strength, and he did.
And after, when he broke down to me, and we cried together because his dad was my second dad, we'll never forget that, and he'll be there when my dad passes for me. After that, one night when he randomly called me for help because of a family situation, I let him move into my college condo, he lived there in a new city for a year, started a new career, met his new wife and has two great kids with her...and he has that life because I made the decision to pickup the phone and repay that favor that night, so think about that.
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Years ago I called it living my life by the Triple F Policy:
Unless you're one of my Fs, and those are family, friend, or someone I'm fucking, I have nothing for you, not a crumb of food, not a single round, not a milliliter of water, I have nothing for you. You're on your own.
Now, if you want to become part of my F list, there is a place, let's talk.
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