Comments by "RexFx" (@RextheRebel) on "Hakim"
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@user-tr9rw7ne8x relationships do require commitment and work, something which cannot be prioritized if we also prioritize the freedom of the individual. Relationships don't free the individual, they make like better and more functional for the pair and their offspring. The reason the individual is not as important as the family is because the individual doesn't exist at all without them. "society is not made up of individuals but the interrelations between them"- Karl Marx. Individuals obviously need to have their own individual identities but it's in connection to and in relation with their gender, their family, their work etc.
Gender roles are biologically influenced. Sure, some are pointless, some are socially constructed (which isn't inherently bad btw, we need social constructs for society to exist) but the majority if not so social constructs are at least somewhat rooted in biological science and evolutionary psychology. Relationships can only be realistically between a man and a woman because they can have kids and the point of a relationship is to bear children and raise them.
And I already explained why getting rid of gender roles hurts the family. It takes women out of the home, has them put off or completely forego having kids. It lowered wages for everyone because now the other 50% of the population was seeking work along with the other half. It makes men unattractive to women because they aren't economically viable partners, and the fact that women are attracted to masculinity. Men aren't attracted to masculine women either. We aren't supposed to compete for the same role. We have our own we are meant to fill.
Does everyone fall into it? No. But the exception does not make the rule. And there are several varying roles men and women and fulfill. Not all men are the same. But we all have common values and there are universal expectations that we all should live up to. If you dont want to meet those expectations, sell your house, your car and any other modern technology that comes from society, move into the forest and live like a primitivist. Cause that's the only place where you won't have to worry about society placing expectations on you.
Of course, the only reason we are questioning gender roles at all are because our society is so advanced and our lives so easy, that gender roles aren't as relevant as they once were when life was more difficult and we had to fit traditional roles or else perish.
People can have individual identities, but they should not put them before the family or community. And no, I'm objectively correct about monogamy being the most efficient and healthy form of relationship and has been practice worldwide for millennia. There's a reason homosexuality has not. And there is a reason men and women fit into particular roles no matter the civilization. They were even called hunter-gatherer societies for a reason. Men hunted, women gathered. Why? Because men and women are different, evolved to have different skills and traits. Gender is not real. Sex is. That's what matters. What you identify as means squat.
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@user-tr9rw7ne8x you need to look at this as a collaborative effort. There is no I in team. The individual only exists because of the family. Community only exists because of families. A community is literally a bunch of families who's children have married to strengthen regional bonds and ensure that groups of people look out for another. The sole purpose of marriage is to have kids. That's not a debate. Throughout history, if a woman could not produce children hs could divorce her or bring in another woman into the relationship, who would typically work for the wife as a servant. Not saying we should bring that system back, I'm merely acknowledging the historical practices. Social constructs are absolutely necessary. All customs, norms, traditions and expected behavior are simply constructs. You expect me to come to work everyday, sober and not allowing my private life to affect my productivity? That's a social construct. I don't want you to take my property, my wife, my home etc away from me, that's a construct. Women don't want to be harassed and expect men to engage with them in a particular way that benefits them. That's a social construct. We declare certain things to be illegal because of the harm it causes to others even if it does benefit the individual who commits it. Those are social constructs. Did you leave the house with clothes on? Congrats. Social construct. Did you get frustrated when a guy on the freeway cut you off? Probably because he was inconsiderate, aka he didn't fulfill an expected norm designed to keep people in line necessarily. It's not to preserve freedom, it's to ensure security.
We don't install freedom apps on our one to protect our data and information, we install security apps. We don't have a Department of Homeland Freedom, was have a Department of Homeland security. We don't purchase Freedom Systems to catch burglars entering our home. We purchase security systems. It's not called Social Freedom Benefits it's called Social Security Benefits. Freedom is a lie. What's important is to be functional, healthy and productive. To live a life and to champion a lifestyle that prioritizes the individual over all else leads to selfishness, a lack of commitment, the refusal to accept self sacrifice, greed, jealousy and aimlessness. We need to realize that we aren't the main characters in this story. We are the extra. Life doesn't revolve around us. We revolve around it. And IT only exists because of people coming together, having kids, raising them with discipline and respect then exposing them to get world with others who they will eventually work alongside, fight beside and marry to keep civilization alive. We value friends because we value closeness and secure bonds. We value closeness and secure bonds cuz we were raised in a healthy family setting. People raised in single parent households are much less likely to have healthy relationships later in life. They are more likely to do drugs, sleep around and distrust others.
Also, the reason poly relationships don't work is because people need to focus and devote as much time and attention towards one person and their children. Much like how a classroom looses it's effectiveness at teaching students when there are too many. Poly relationships are about sex, not procreating.
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@user-tr9rw7ne8x No. Agreeing to disagree is what weak people do who cant win an argument. I didn't contradict myself and people do not marry for love. Love isn't real. People who "love" one another stick together out of necessity and reliability. When the man isn't reliable enough anymore she leaves or steps out right? Its not love. People can appreciate one another and respect one another, desire the other persons company due to similar interests and values. But that is not love, its convenience. And that's ok. There is nothing wrong with that.
Polygamy, is no polyamory. And those men who had kids with a woman that wasn't barren, focused all their attention on the wife and the child, not the woman they brought into the home who did not become a second wife and had no legal protections like the wife did. The second the woman had his kid, she became the property of the wife. I never said that was necessarily good and i even stated that we should leave it in the past.
Not all ideas are created equal. But all ideas should be allowed to be spoken. Not necessarily practiced. Your attempted rebuking of the driving issue is actually embarrassing. Who cares why he cut you off? He did a reckless, dangerous thing that is against the socially constructed norms surrounding driving etiquette. It doesn't mean the government inherently has to enforce the cultural values of the community but it's best that the government, aka the will of the people, enforce the will that the people of that community have. Dont like it? Move to another community or attempt to convive the members of your own to change their position. Unsuccessful at altering the public's position? Too bad, so sad. Move on.
Thomas Pain explained it well. The more perfect society is, the less it needs regulation from authority and government, and the more perfect society becomes is because of its ability to self regulate. But when a societies affairs have broken down to a point where men cannot be relied on to supply to civilization their talents and competencies, a stronger hand must take shape to guide chaos back into order.
"When men, as well from natural instinct as from reciprocal benefits, have habituated themselves to social and civilized life, there is always enough of its principles in practice to carry them through any changes they may find necessary or convenient to make in their government. In short, man is so naturally a creature of society that it is almost impossible to put him out of it
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