Comments by "" (@modickens1272) on "PsycHacks" channel.

  1. I will sum this phenomenon up in the simplest terms possible. A woman would rather share a ride in a Rolls Royce than have her own Kia. And as long as this is the case, there's going to be a lot of cars not driven.
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  2. They don't apologize because they truly don't believe they did anything wrong and the reason is because they base decisions on feelings and in their mind feeling a certain way is never wrong, even if actions or outcomes based on those feelings are.
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  3. Covert disrespect by women usually is most common in passive aggressive behaviors. The " I forgot's" or " I didn't realize " or gaslighting to make you believe you're making a mountain out of a molehill for a legitimate complaint. In my experience if it's not nipped in the bud ( and sometimes it will be necessary to leave to do that) what will usually occur is the man will start to have a brooding resentment of the woman. And as Freud said about unexpressed emotions never going away and just coming forth in uglier ways, this will usually cause the man to be overt in his reprimands and comments. Believe it or not, this was the womans goal. Because it simultaneously allows her to leverage your " monstrous " temper as an issue, while also getting to play victim. The best solution is to leave. If a woman doesn't respect you, she most likely never will, and if she does, only under duress. And then your implied demand for respect will breed resentment in her, and magnify her passive aggressive behavior. Its basically a circle of dysfunction. Only solution is to leave. When a woman respects you as a person you could be drunk in an alley and though she may pity you, worry, she won't disrespect you. If she doesn't respect you, she'll be ungrateful by the pool in your mansion.
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  4. Indifference makes a person question their value. Once a person questions their value they will try to prove their worth, only if your opinion matters to them. If they have 0 interest, your indifference will be met by their indifference. Not caring or forming emotional attachments is the best way to go. Life is a lesson in letting go. So indifference facilitates this. Most love, infatuation, and obsession is ego based. The easiest way to seduce someone is to create doubt about their worth. They will use you to stop the doubts , however this doesn't mean they love you. It just means their ego needs soothing. The reverse is true as well. If you want to avoid emotional attachments, reduce the ego. This will allow you to not be upset if they don't respond soon, if they don't show gratitude, if they date someone else. Your ego will just shrug it shoulders because it won't take it as a blow to self worth. Just view it as business, limit as best as possible to taking things personally and that includes rejection especially. Your mind will trick you into thinking someone else should love or admire you for who you are. That's ego talking, ignore it to get ahead.
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  5. " A person is only motivated by two things, self interests and fear" -- Napoleon Bonaparte
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  6. I agree I also think it applies to men with women also. Ive noticed in my own life the women's behaviors that annoyed me most was the women I liked, yet if it was some woman I had no feelings for, I not only didn't care if she ever texted, I didn't care if she was mad at me for not texting her. I didn't realize until later I was being hypocritical and applying double standards. Classic example, if some woman I didn't like posted some provocative picture I might roll my eyes and think she was sad. Yet if it was a woman I liked, even if I didn't say anything I'd feel jealousy and also a much more judgmental attitude towards her. And you're right, it will push that person away. Ive noticed this aspect with even friends versus strangers. If for example some random person you barely know buys a new house or car you might think cool, looks great, etc. However often with friends we become judgemental. " how'd you afford it" " you should save for a rainy day" " looks like too much house for me to clean" " I never was into shiny things " its been said but we do hurt the ones we love. It's a difficult but necessary step to overcome on the path to self awareness because nobody wants to be the villain in their own stories.
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  7.  @kevalan1042  how they make others feel is irrelevant to them. It's only how they feel that concerns them.
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  8. I agree this would be the best route to go and as you pointed out its difficult to do when we've been hurt or not felt appreciated or love reciprocated. There's always a sense of hurt when a relationship ends unless we are the ones that wanted it to end and I think that's also a part of the secret to letting go. We also should tell ourselves it should've ended not because of the good times , not because of the loving moments of course, not because of who they were, but rather what they've become. And often for reasons out of our control they have become someone who's changed and that change is someone new internally and someone we are no longer compatible with. I've been hurt, angered even obsessive when someone I loved ended it, even in friendships at times. But with time I learned to say it was for the best because just as the years change so do people. The woman I loved in 2018 no longer exists, just as 2018 doesn't. Yes technically she's still living, looks mostly the same, but 2022 is a different year, and she is not the same as she was in 2018 either. Excellent video. Love is often the answer and forgiveness from afar , yet so hard to do at times. When love is replaced with indifference than the heart is usually healed.
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  9. Dating for women is like eating out, the longer they wait to choose, the more limited options. Yes, they can still land a meal at 3AM but it'll be out of a gas station and not a 5 star restaurant.
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  10.  @anitago  a man doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. He chooses to, and its foolish. He can rent it cheaper and less stress. Any man in this modern society trying to prove his worth to a woman is a fool and deserves to be used.
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  11.  @anitago  fair enough which reemphasizes my point.
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  12. Anne Frank once said " more flowers are given at funerals because regret is stronger than gratitude " I think this is the problem with most interpersonal relationships. The people we often respect or admire often don't appreciate us in the same manner, and there are people who look up to us or value our presence more than we value theirs. Ive often wondered why this is the case, and have not arrived at any reasonable conclusions. It seems any relationship with two people one will always like one more than the other likes or appreciates them. There's an element of power involved. And power takes various forms. A person's power can be beauty, intelligence, money, charm, fame, social skills. And whatever a person admires the most, they will be subjected to being the " fan" to whoever has that quality. Celebrities can love their fans, appreciate them but beyond an ego blow, the fans absence will not be as missed as the celebrities absence. And it seems in all interpersonal dynamics one person is more the fan, and the other is more the celebrity.
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  13. Very true. This also applies to friendships as well. Ive seen myself when one friend does better it increases the feelings of inferiority in the one who has remained stagnant or unchanging so to speak. Over time this breeds envy, resentment and a desire to see the other person fail. This is one of the reasons people read gossip magazines. They like seeing celebrities who seem to have perfect successful lives knocked down a notch because of scandals. Gore Vidal once said " I die a little each time a friend succeeds" and another saying is " people don't mind you doing better, they just don't want you doing better than them" both are sadly all too real.
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  14.  @sarahrobertson634  nobody can say you're not honest.
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  15. Ive rarely rejected women overtly and the reason being is it's not necessary. Just act in a way that let's them dump/reject you. Whether it's being neglectful, offensive humor, bringing up an old flame constantly, acting too needy, etc. There's a million ways to get a woman to reject you to where you never even have to reject at all. The go to classic: ask to borrow money, or claim you lost your job. Trust me, you wont have to learn a skill to reject women. They'll find the exit themselves.
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  16. Manners should be genderless. If a man or woman is coming in behind me, I hold the door. It doesn't imply a helplessness on their part, it implies manners and empathy on my part. if you see someone struggling and can help them, do it. If you're struggling or someone holds the door open, don't feel entitled or let pride obstruct it, just be grateful and thank them. Manners: it's not a Male or female, young or old thing, it's a people thing, practice it and it'll take you further than intelligence, hard work, or looks ever will. Why? Because it's much more rare.
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  17. Its the equivalent of a stripper in a club chatting with you and then asking if you want a lap dance. If you say no, she'll usually tell you she can't waste anymore time chatting and trawl for a new mark. Men need to get it through their thick heads, women are not about love and romance. They are about money and getting resources. They view men as props on their movie set. If you're thirsty do you care what type of cup the water is in? No, women view men and money the same way. As far as kids, they're an extension of narcissism and ego and also another way to secure income, via the father or government subsidies.
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  18. Haha I could write a book on the horrible dating profiles Ive seen. " not into games" " not into drama" " hate liars" " my kids come first " most of the profiles just cause eye rolls because they all are from the same script. And most often scream red flags. I think the biggest problem is often the profiles come across as defensive and nagging right out of the gate. Just combative. Plus there's usually the issue of them having the attention span of a gnat. And nowadays women primarily use Instagram as a dating app. I call " dating app for those in denial about online dating " so if she has Facebook, Instagram and dating apps rest assured she's getting countless messages. She in theory doesn't even have to write a profile. Just post a few pics and the " good morning beautiful " messages will start hitting her inbox. The problem is that too many choices and options are not good for mental health in my opinion because it causes indecisiveness long term.
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  19. Totally agree with this. Ive known guys that live in the gym and want to act like they're tough yet some C grade woman at home bosses them around and if she initiates a breakup, they beg and plead. The gym is often an external overcompensation for internal weakness of some kind. Charles Manson shows dominance is psychological. He was 5'2", skinny, didn't go to the gym for " gainz" yet had plenty of women and much bigger men doing his bidding. Jim Jones another example of psychological dominance. Women though, if also dominant will tend to avoid such a man. Her gaslighting tactics and guilt trips won't work on him, which work on most men. So she'll seek prey in greener pastures so to speak. And with such women I have learned, that when arguing with them the best course to take isn't to use logic, reason, or defend yourself. These will all be ignored by the dominant woman and manipulated into gaslighting. The best course is to insult her ego in some way, bruise her pride, cleverly if possible. She'll quit speaking, but she'll respect you, albeit from afar.
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  20. Absolutely. It'd be like saying " a study discovered most men suffering from depression have large penises " you'd see a bottle of prozac or zoloft on every night stand, or casually saying they've been depressed while at the bar or club.
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  21. Evil can exist with one person in a room. But evil cannot thrive without a captive audience that denies reality. Evil's biggest assest is confirmation bias, and obedience and its greatest adversary is an open mind and a questioning mind, and moral standards .
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  22.  @lillyCfields  oh absolutely Lily. They often do this frequently to other female friends and acquaintances. Underhanded comments, passive aggressive excuses, etc. I use to have a few female friends but eventually lost all of them because I'd call them out on their BS/hypocrisy etc. and needless to say they quit speaking. Ive had more peace since then. They mainly just use you as an emotional dumping ground to vent to. And lord help you if something good happens in your life. A lot of fake " congrats" and secret sneers of envy. Overall, just lousy one sided " friends "
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  23. Just don't believe everything you see on Instagram. Envy is an issue but the bigger issue in my opinion, is the trend of trying to invoke envy. Those people showing off, don't need to be envied, they need pity because no matter what it is they have or done it still is evidently leaving them empty inside if they have to have the public validate it. To be human is to have problems no matter how wealthy or attractive or skilled. Nobody you envy is without problems. Just remember that. No matter what they display.
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  24.  @elchucapablas  because a womans emotions are always fluctuating its possible to gain it back but only momentarily. Meaning it's not true respect as a person, but rather respect based on temporary circumstances that you will eventually lose should the circumstances change. In other words it's not respect for you as a person, but rather respect for the current moment/circumstances
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  25.  @Eans_urban_jungle  I understand. And ironically those are usually the most successful relationships in my opinion. When a man is in a relationship with a woman he's infatuated with it usually turns the woman off and she sees herself as above him. When a womans in a relationship with a man shes infatuated with it keeps her in a submissive role and more feminine. In either case someone won't feel as passionate but when it's the woman that isn't passionate about the man it rarely will last.
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  26. What Ive observed in my experience, is even if a woman went through an awkward phase or felt ugly or was not as attractive at one point in her life, once she becomes attractive, the humbleness often goes. Its like a guy with no experience once he visits a brothel he usually comes out strutting. A woman who's not use to getting attention, once she becomes attractive usually becomes addicted to the new attention and often doesn't know how to handle it strategically for a promising relationship. Similar to giving a poor child 10 new toys at once.
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  27. Many women on apps are not actually wanting to date except for the occasional food call if bored. Technology has made it to where she doesn't have to show up in person to get what she craves which is attention. She can be a 4 wearing sweatpants, hair in curlers, eating ice cream, post some filtered pics and she'll get men of all calibers sending heart eyes and flame emojis. Does this make her less lonely? No, does this give her a relationship? No but it does give her the sense she's all that. The ego confidence boost. A woman that's C grade can get a 10 man to sleep with her, he may not want a relationship but while shes sleeping with him she feels beautiful. She'll carry this attitude and false sense of confidence with her because even though realistically she'd be a better fit for an average man, because she got James bond to sleep with her on a slow night she will wrongly conflate that as her long term value. She only screens guys she's not interested in or she feels she's settling for. Rest assured she's not screening Elvis circa 1968 when he wants to meet up. She's not asking about his 401k or opinions on blended families, and 5 year plans, she's just shaving her legs, getting waxed and hoping he's pleased with her.
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  28. Excellent video and logical points. It all boils down to standards and self respect. There's a saying " apologize when you're wrong, not when you tell the truth." I've lost friends because I wasn't always tactful, and had no problem apologizing when my behavior conflicted with my own standards. However, there are people who gaslight and when called on their behavior, or given a proper tongue lashing will play victim, say you hurt them, demand an apology, etc. Those don't get an apology. Why? Because respecting myself and telling the truth doesn't conflict with my morals or standards.
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  29. What Ive observed, based on my own experiences is a combination of things. I actually went to a female therapist once and when she asked the purpose of my visit I told her " Ive been told I'm crazy and if so, I want it in writing" I noticed after the once a week visits for two months that there were drawbacks and also insights into it. I would observe her and ask her questions occasionally and most times she would either try to avoid answering or give vague answers at best. At any rate we became intimate at some point outside the office and when I moved we remained friends occasionally writing, I learned 5 years after my encounter with her she was murdered by her only son. The drawbacks I observed was its almost impossible for either patient or doctor to remain objective. The doctor can often point out problems but only the patient can truly fix them. I also think it can lead to self absorption on the patients part, talking so much about themselves can cause them to neglect others in their orbit, and self fixation long term is never good in my opinion. The insights I came away with was aspects of my personality that was always there but I never fully saw them. Such as antisocial tendencies, paranoia, contempt for authority etc. We often tend to think our behavior or outlook is rational but sometimes it takes an outside observer to point out things we can't or don't want to see about ourselves. So therapy was good for that. I asked for tests to be administered such as IQ and personality tests to get insight into myself. I learned things from it, and though some may argue she was unethical I didn't see it that way. I think the only time it would be unethical is if the patient was unable to make their own decisions due to mental illness. This was not my case. I think men avoid therapy because it's a vulnerability, and also men tend to want to solve problems on their own. Also there is an aspect in society that people don't care about the problems of others. What's that saying " don't tell people your problems, 80% don't care and 20% are glad you're having them" women in general don't care due to evolutionary reasons. Briffaults law explains this. And most men in society are competitive with other men so subconsciously they're not going to be too interested in helping someone who is a competitor for resources and mating options. Another aspect rarely brought up is the " don't you have friends that can listen?" So just by paying a stranger they often feel like a loser in the eyes of society, the same as getting an escort. The stigma of paying to have emotional needs or physical needs gratified lingers even if on a subconscious level with society.
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  30.  @alexeysamokhin9629  duty and responsibility are aligned with either fear of being rejected by others or the self interest of being praised and approved of. Start thinking deeper on things instead of superficially. Napoleon put it in simple terms but even then you can't grasp it.
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  31. Excellent points. People usually don't change their opinions about someone barring something shocking or drastic, and also people in general would rather hear negative stuff about a person than positive if coming from a neutral position. People enjoy feeling superior and gossip momentarily allows that. My attitude ( and it's not easy to develop because we all can be hurt or angered by people's opinions) unless you're paying me, or sleeping with me your opinion of me is irrelevant. It's not easy to develop this because we want to operate cohesively within society, but sometimes we have to ignore emotions and apply logic. Always ask yourself " does this persons negative opinion of me have repercussions beyond hurt pride and bruised ego or reputation?" If the answer is no, and usually it is, then just say who cares. 50 years, or most likely less, we'll all be dead so other people's gossip is a blip on eternity.
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  32. I believe a person should always ask themselves why they do certain attention seeking things ( desire for fame, adoration) but not just ask, they must answer sincerely. That's where the problem lies, because lying to oneself causes most of the problems. If they say " so people will want to be like me, or tell me how great I am" they'll realize it's a futile goal. Fame should be a byproduct not a goal in itself. I'm 43 and I've noticed that no matter intelligence or talent or looks, ones recognition excluding a few exceptions slowly evaporates. This is why top music sellers from 10 years ago are often reduced to playing casinos in middle America even if their voice is still as good. Getting older is a slow process in invisibility and the key to having everything you want in life is to not want much. A soft bed, good physical health and emotional well being, enough to eat, an occasional dirty joke, a good book, that's good enough. And truth be known, most people just aren't worth impressing even if possible. And impressing people is fleeting anyhow. How many people in divorce court at one time were really impressed by each other? That says all you need to know about impressing people or their approval. It's all momentary
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  33.  @sammyb1651  That's a good point and you are correct. They will go out of their way to celebrate a lackluster female friends birthday party, yet forget the mans birthday all together. As an example. If another woman criticizes them, they'll do things to appease her, yet if a man does he's dismissed. However its paradoxical. Women on a deeper level hate other women, yet they outwardly exhibit much more care to each other in their common dismissiveness of men in general.
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  34. After the new wears off, most romantic relationships though started from lust and sexual desire , end up being primarily financial in their motive to continue. With inflation on the rise most folks are probably together to slay bills easier. And are getting their sexual needs met through porn, occasional liaisons, and alone time in the shower. It's not entirely due to technology, it's also a case of familiarity breeding contempt. You can love pizza but not want to eat it every day. I do agree that there is no romantic relationship without sex, and that's why I believe most modern long term relationships are not romantic in nature, but rather the equivalent of two roommates/friends with the common goal of avoiding eviction. And when they do the horizontal two step they're usually imagining someone else.
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  35. I understand the concept , but I think it's more complicated. The chess board is a good example, however there's less mastery wisdom required for many things that still would go unrecognized. A person may not know how to compose a piano solo but can audibly tell if it sounds good to the ear. A person may not be able to paint, yet still know they find something beautiful. Yet in these examples the musician and painter still may go unrecognized. Why? In my opinion, envy and jealousy play a role as you alluded, but also because self absorption is so rampant nowadays that society at large views it as a burden to compliment or recognize another person's achievements/abilities, because it takes away from self preoccupation. Life has become one big class reunion so to speak. " oh you climbed Mt. Everest on one leg? So cool! Now let me show you pictures of my dog skippy and son Kermit" essentially, even when recognition is given, its usually on a superficial level. Not that they don't recognize your ability, nor are they always envious. It's far sadder: indifference, if it's not about them, they just don't really care.
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  36.  @jovani3  right, it's like that old joke headline " male suicide rate is on the rise: how it affects women more "
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  37.  @alexeysamokhin9629  let me try this one last time. Even when people help others, self interest is a motive. To feel good about themselves or to be recognized. To think otherwise is naive.
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  38. I'd say your female " friend" said more than just you were interested. My guess, the friend got jealous and told the other woman either something really filthy contributed to you, or she told the woman you were tired of her flirting and it needs to stop. Because she didn't want someone else potentially getting your attention/ time
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  39. The only time people want the truth is if its positive. In my experience, the truths that conflict with a person's desires or self image, will be met with staunch resentment and often, total avoidance of the person who told the truth. You want to see a young child angry and mad at you tell them Santa claus doesn't exist. Adults are no different , only the subject matter has changed. People are way too feelings based and objective analysis is gone in regards to the truth. Any unpleasant truth will almost with certainty be viewed as a personal attack on them. You tell someone that perhaps ted bundy or Charles Manson might not be the best boyfriend material and if she's in love, she'll quit speaking to you. Tell someone it probably wasn't wise to buy a house they can't afford and you'll be met with the " you're just jealous ". Why do you think the first two stages of the 5 stages of grief are denial and anger? Because first they don't want to believe it's true and second, the truth causes anger because it's not a good kind of truth. Its painful. So any truth that causes grief will be met with denial and anger and rest assured that anger will also be towards the messenger.
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  40. Excellent analogy. I tend to view it similarly. More like a movie, we decided on our characters, sometimes we play the villain sometimes the hero, sometimes the killer, sometimes the victim, but no matter the role, we are all apart of the film, and whether or not the film is worth seeing, or playing in, is subjective . It is up to each viewer, and participant to decide that.
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  41. I find that self respect being prioritized above the other two does lead to isolation. I am considered friendly when interacting with others briefly but in general I have no long term friends. The reason being is self respect/standards mostly. I had a former friend tell me once " you're destined for loneliness with your attitude, I'd rather have friends than be right" the thing is, if you are someone with specific standards as to what you will or will not tolerate from people it is of utmost importance to cultivate being happy alone with your own company, because it will eventually occur. Accountability is not something most people want to be confronted with long term unless they too have standards towards themselves. I don't have really any friends but few people actually do. Most have acquaintances, coworkers, extended family etc. And these are usually superficial relationships at best. Friendships mean a lot more when younger. As I am in middle age now, I would rather read books on a Saturday night than hear a bunch of chatter. In reflection of my life I have concluded the less people one has in your life, the fewer problems and more peace you have. Nothing beats a genuine bond and connection with someone, but except in rare instances does anyone have it. What we believe we perceive and most people believe they mean more to others than they actually do.
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  42. The problem is men take women and love way too seriously. They strive, work long hours, fight other men, go in debt for big houses and cars etc. Because their ego wants a wife and kids in most cases. A mans ego is his own worst enemy. If you view women as prostitutes, you'll become indifferent to their behavior and certainty won't jump through hoops to placate it, nor will you get hung up on if she loves you, if she leaves etc. I learned this in my 20s. Yes, you may still have emotions, but part of being an adult is not reacting to them. I'm 44, never married, no kids and most of my relationships have been drama free. Even the ones that ended usually ended amicably. Why? Because I never took them seriously. And had 0 desire to have kids so there was no bargaining chip there for her. Once again, reduce ego and expectations through practice and life is easier.
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  43. Ive always said anyone who claims to love unconditionally is either lying or has no standards and neither premises are good. This doesn't just include romantic relationships, this includes family, friends etc. Standards have to come before anything else. Show me a parent who loves their kid no matter how evil they are and you'll see a parent with no standards which probably contributed to the child's behavior. Theres no honor in unconditional love nor should there be. Gloating over a lack of standards is nothing to be proud of.
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  44. I believe women in general know this so they've learned to lie about it. Unless she's honest and admits to it, you'll rarely if ever get the truth if asking such question. In my experience I assume they've all been around, so I rarely if ever have fallen in love , even in a relationship. Even if they have high physical desire for me sleeping together on the 1st or 2nd date, that means nothing really because her moods change so much. That woman doing all those nasty things with you on Saturday night, might hate your guts Wednesday and ghost you. In the words of the late Sam Kinison on relationships: " lies keep you together " trust me, you don't ever want a woman to be completely honest because if they were thered be a lot of disappointment and disillusionment.
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  45. Or as Gary Gilmore said before execution by firing squad " let's do it" the ultimate eat the frog moment. Hesitation often makes the inevitable harder. Risk aversion is an innate part of survival, but to live and progress , risk and life's sometimes unpleasant circumstances cannot be avoided. The " what if's" usually cause more stress than the actual action.
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  46.  @sammyb1651  that's true. Its like two sharks in the water. They may get along but its only because they both know they're sharks. They may truly have no care for their female friends, but yet outwardly she'll show it only as a form of unity in her disdain for men.
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  47.  @viditbatta2434  you indirectly or directly insult what she's most vain about. For example if she takes pride in how smart she is, you make a comment implying she's dumb. She takes pride in her looks, you make a comment she's not as pretty as some other woman or as young. The goal is to hurt their most vulnerable area. Now as I mentioned above, she may quit speaking for awhile or permanently, but I promise she'll respect you because she'll not want her ego damaged any further so she'll learn to avoid conflict with you. Even if that means avoiding you period.
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  48. I think the amnesiac aspect also applies to bad relationships. People forget the bad aspects of the person and only remember the good , when craving some emotional void filled by the person. Hence the reason people will go back to toxic exes. Their vice is that particular person so to speak.
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  49.  @wyleecoyotee4252  not always. Sometimes they will continue to fight for approval. It depends on their attachment style and parental dynamics growing up.
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  50. ​ @annesmith9181  boyfriends have no financial obligations to their girlfriends either. AKA buy your own dinner and drinks
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