Comments by "David G" (@davidg3944) on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" channel.

  1. Jenny is so adorably weird. Not repulsively weird like a trumper, but the best sort of weird...
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  2. Concentrated yuk (yuk, yuk).
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  3. It's the gabbard nomination I worry about most. Now putin will have TWO lines of contact for US secrets
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  4. YT is autoblocking, it's not LNwSM.
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  5. But not too still. That has unpleasant aspects that could make your day worse...
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  6. If he's fried, change the oil afterwards, gotta keep the Freedom Fries sanitary.
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  7.  @yasuke9317  As he should, father of the country and all that.
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  8. The Emmys will never be a legitimate award until they've recognized the unfathomable greatness that is "Cirrections"! I mean "Carrections". Wait, is it "Cowrections"? And wouldn't that properly be "Bullrections"?
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  9. This American won't put you in the penalty box for slashing...
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  10. Do the trees get nervous when you walk among them?
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  11. "Contender"? Or "competitor"? [Jackal to the bone]
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  12. What are you going to do for work once donny is behind bars? Or will you still be polishing his tool as always?
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  13.  @chadd990  Your pun was bad and you should feel bad. [/Zoidberg]
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  14. One of these days, Meemaw's going to respond back and really lay into Miss Lindsey...
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  15. Brad's daughter has 'tude! As soon as she's done doing all that other important stuff (like dissing Seth), I'm sure she'll do great things...
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  16. I don't know if I can hold out for four more years. I better move to Canada to... What, trump wants to annex Canada?! Well, I guess I'm moving to Mexico, for sure the US won't be making moves on it!
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  17. Yeah, that's where I thought the joke would go. I can has disappoint...
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  18. There's no reason to live! [for at least three weeks. Is suspended animation a real thing yet?]
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  19. I live for Corrections. No really, there's nothing else worth sticking around for...
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  20. Great comment, I definitely read the first word.
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  21. Sincere question - do lesbians actually think of a potential partner as "husband" material? Not what I would (wood?) have expected...
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  22. If you want to get technical about it, the spider was stationary and Seth's desk, chair, and set was hydraulically jacked up to reach the eight-legged (and two pedipalped) critter.
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  23. No "Surprise Inspection" needed today, all the lines are zingers!
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  24.  @TheUluxian  I'm trying to get reclassified from merely antique to collectable.
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  25. What if the vessel is spinning very fast to create an accelerative simulation of gravity? I guess that doesn't work with the depiction of floating astronauts. Perhaps the suit was made from magnetic material and the floor is ferrous?
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  26.  @DennisLynch-k5u  Points for using the correct form of "You're". Points removed for being wrong, and only accurately assessing yourself.
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  27.  @motorblade  Oops - sorry to hear that. Always a risk when making such a joke, that it turns out to be "not so jokey"...
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  28.  @sherinameless1618  Yes, although it's now behind other tchotchkes.
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  29. He's heartless and brainless, but somehow a lot of words tumble from his mouth hole. It's almost like he's a dummy, and there's a ventriloquist somewhere pulling his strings and moving his jaw.
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  30. "Leave him alone!" guy left out the punchlines, but that made the bit even better. Spare change, sir?
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  31. Schwinn! I am not worthy...
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  32. A few bricks shy? Nope, they're a single pebble in totality.
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  33. Please tell me you have a cat - it's a Federal mandate, you know...
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  34. There can be no end to something that is immortal. Wait, autocorrect typed "immortal"? I typed "immoral", I swear it!
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  35. Resentment flub? No, Animal Flub!!
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  36. What is wrong with the nearly half of America that wants this damaged brain back in the White House? Do we have a death wish for Democracy?
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  37. [Whispers] But I like pineapple on pizza. But then, I also enjoy walnuts, raisins, tuna, and other toppings too. Now I wander the hills, banished from town because of my pizza-peculiarities...
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  38. Technically, the ferrets were not harmed during the production of this Corrections, but clearly they were forcibly rendered quiescent beforehand and staged most callously for the amusement of decadent Jackals. [yes, decadent Jackals is redundant].
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  39. The worst man ever is now president. And we also have djt to worry about. What a world...
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  40. Thanks to all the gods (especially Bacchus) that I didn't buy a Tesla.
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  41. You may have started a pun-chain that'll get milked for more than its worth.
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  42.  @wgooetrik  Thioacetone says it won't attend parties if trump will be there. Can't blame it, if you claim to be the stinkiest compound why get upstaged?
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  43. The horrifying news that the NBC overlords may pressure Seth to end "Corrections" is the true sign that the Apocalypse is near. Or is the Bird Bane mask a sign that there is a way out of this sad expiry? If we convince these higher-ups to apply all the licensing revenue for the masks to the Corrections budget, surely it can continue? Or actually put the googly eyes mugs for sale?
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  44.  @Stevenisbelieven  I did. Now I'm unable to retain my dinner...
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  45.  @sandy120  Agreed. What's the point of trying to communicate with anyone? It's pointless, there's just dumb people reading and writing these comments. Right?
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  46. The sequence of "looks" at the end was a nice dessert.
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  47. It's not entirely fair, but where were America's women on November 5th? How could any one of them look at this man and say: "yeah, I'd like more of that"? What the hell, ladies??
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  48. I give it three out of five Frisbee's.
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  49. Also: CORRECTION! That's obviously a panda, not a ferret in the Pocket Circus. BTW, "Pocket Circus" was also called "Pocket Pool" back in my day.
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  50. I spend a lot of time saying "No" to Republicans, but then I actually love America. Whatever Republicans love, it's sure not this country...
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