Comments by "Ray Purchase" (@raypurchase801) on "The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters" channel.

  1. The best part was Harry being unable to watch properly 'cos Princess Anne's big red feather was in the way.
    165
  2. The only defence against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
    164
  3. Clarkson is my hero. He was in a Fiesta and got chased around a shopping centre at night, by baddies in a black Corvette. Then he, Hamster and the Captain drove some Interceptors and shot a bad guy who was wearing a fez, blew up a speedboat driven by a bloke wearing a different fez and drove in front of a business jet, to stop it from taking off with gorgeous bikini-clad babes on board. Plus Clarkson built the best motor home IN THE WORLD, only for it to fall off a cliff whilst he ate an ice cream. Clarkson is the hero we need but don't deserve.
    163
  4. Diane counted the GB Team's non-white athletes. Nearly three-quarters were black, which is only 2%.
    162
  5. "You're safe if you wear a condom" - Official govt. advice during the AIDS outbreak of the 1980s. I've worn a condom every day since, and I've never died in a plane crash or a car smash. So it works. I wore a condom in preference to a mask during the covid pandemic. Everything worked well, except for the fuss when I showed my condom to security guards at Tescos.
    160
  6. This woman spends years, earning a living by being good to look at. Then she becomes a dried-up middle-aged prune and nobody looks any more. Moral of the tale: Don't rely on pretty but nothing else.
    158
  7. Historians such as David Olusoga are brilliant. He keeps finding history about black people who never existed.
    157
  8. ADVICE FOR ANYONE CONSIDERING MARRIAGE: Observe how your intended spouse gets along with his/her parents and siblings. If they're gentle and kind, marry him/her. If they all loath each other, as with Meghan Markle and her siblings and father, walk away ASAP.
    147
  9. Brian Griffin: "I'm not racist. I watch tons of black porn".
    144
  10. Calvin is the Archbishop of Canterbury whom we need but will never get.
    140
  11. Rashid Snook is a far greater man than Richi Sunak could ever be. I agree with Brandon.
    139
  12. 30 years ago, South Africa generated more electricity than the entire rest of the continent combined. Now they have insufficient power to keep the lights on all day. 30 years ago, I considered migrating there. I'm pleased I didn't.
    132
  13. I'm waiting for Trudeau to ask Putin to send peace-keeping troops to dissuade the truckers. Politicians in New Zealand and Australia prefer Chinese soldiers.
    131
  14. Biden can't find the Ukraine on a map. Biden can't find the map. Biden can't find his trousers without a helper.
    129
  15. Socialists have never understood economics. "Let's be offensive to our core membership. That'll go well".
    128
  16. I'm white British. 200 years ago, my ancestors didn't have the right to vote. BLACK AMERICANS: "We didn't have the right to vote". ME: "Yeah, I know".
    128
  17. Imagine if the police had sided with Mosley's fascists at the Cable Street Riots.... Wrong, wrong, wrong absolutely regardless of the movement.
    126
  18. Met: Muslim Enforcement Team.
    122
  19. They claim the Falklands belong to Argentina. The Falklands have been British since before Argentina existed. This means Argentina belongs to the UK.
    122
  20. Why tolerate somebody who hates you? I don't know either.
    120
  21.  @kaizokujimbei143  Old saying: "If one religion takes over the world, you'd better hope it's Christianity".
    119
  22. Right now, MPs are considering how they can eat there and put the bill on their Parliamentary expenses.
    117
  23. The only people who needed the lockdown are the very elderly and the very ill. Everybody else should have continued working.
    117
  24. According to Lord William Haig, in the event of war, young men in Rochdale would undoubtedly volunteer to serve in the British armed forces. To defend Ukraine's borders, Israel's housing developments in disputed territories and safe navigation through the Persian Gulf. 'Cos they're British and diverse, right?
    110
  25. In Star Trek The Next Generation, set hundreds of years in the future, the internet wasn't mentioned once. The future is never what you expected. Consider the young men from northern cities who volunteered for the Pals Regiments during the great war. Imagine if those young men could see their cities today.
    110
  26. We've allowed this evil to happen on our watch.
    109
  27. The word "fascist" is derived from a bundle of sticks, bound tightly together. A symbol of the ancient Roman state, often repeated in the US and every other western country. One stick is weak. Bind us together and we're unbreakable.
    108
  28. Excellent video. Well-expressed views. Intelligent discussion. These two guys should have a slot on the BBC... oh hang on...
    106
  29. I demand reparations from Italy, following their illegal invasion and enslavement of Britannia from 50 BC. Ancient British Druid Lives Matter. I remain traumatised. Gimme reparations.
    105
  30. Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse made a series of skits about this. Posh southerners buying northerners and keeping them as pets. If your Ukrainian gets rowdy, take him to the vet to be neutered.
    100
  31. Also feel proud that so many Brits wish you well.
    99
  32. The fall of Kabul is like watching a movie about the sinking of the Titanic in slow motion. Plus everyone always knew the Titanic was going to sink, before the movie even started.
    98
  33. Conservative Central Office discusses with Labour and the Liberals about 50 years ago: "Hey, here's a good idea: Let's make the whole of the UK like the Balkans or Northern Ireland at the height of the troubles. Add the black-white antagonisms of the southern USA. Plus millions of Muslims. That'll be good for the UK, right? Right? Yeah, that's all good".
    94
  34. The UK should send loads of 40 year old tanks to Iran, as per the original contract.
    93
  35. These blokes are like mushrooms. They're fungis to listen to.
    92
  36. I loath and detest this government.
    90
  37. GUESS WHAT: Criminals don't comply with gun-control laws.
    90
  38. So Tommy is to the left of Keir Starmer. And the Conservative Party is to the left of Labour.
    89
  39. We Brits don't all speak like Stewie Griffin. You Yanks don't all speak like Yosemite Sam.
    88
  40. I don't regard Sargon or Paul Joseph Watson as "right wing".
    84
  41. Our electoral system is unfit for purpose. With a different system, the Tories would've recognised Enoch as the party leader who'd be most likely to win the 1970 general election. The UK would be a very different place today if Enoch had been in Number 10 during the 1970s.
    83
  42. REMINDER: Julian Assange continues to rot in a prison cell. His only offence is that he exposed criminals in high office.
    80
  43. The only problem with Florida is Disney World. Where being a nonce is expressed as a virtue by Mickey and Minnie.
    78
  44. Every time I write that statistic, the Al Gore rhythms delete it.
    77
  45. Unlike the WASPS, I expect some Puerto Ricans will go out looking for vengeance.
    77
  46. Q: I say I say I say, what's got 100 legs and eats cabbage? A: A queue for meat in Cuba.
    74
  47. There is no replacement for Boris who'd be any better. Farage, Swayne etc. aren't in the running. Sadly.
    74
  48. The Committee of Public Safety sent hundreds of thousands to the guillotine during the French Revolution. Give a law a nice name and nobody anticipates the danger. Imagine the the Emperor had used the name "Freedom and Liberty Star" instead of "Death Star". Nobody wouldn't have known the danger until their planet had been vaporised.
    72
  49. The right to bear hammers shall not be infringed.
    71
  50.  @jacquelinenix9035  From the River Thames to the sea. In every direction.
    70