Comments by "Shipoke (Dn Wybn)" (@inconnu4961) on "PsycHacks"
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You are EXACTLY right: you certainly did not understand his point! Lets use the sex analogy. Would you rather talk about sex, or do sex? Obviously, you and the other person must be on the same page about if and when sex could happen, but must you both sit down, with each your own lawyer and draw up a business agreement on who, what, when, where, why, and how of sex? Do you need to write up the contingencies should the biz agreement not be fulfilled as written? When you finally did get to do sex, how good do you think it will be after you have just about talked it to death at that point? have you ever been with a person where you didnt even talk about sex, but it seemed to spontaneously happen? Wasnt that a lot more fun, then negotiating it out? I realize this seems like an extreme example, but there are people who are neurotic like this, and often times women are neurotic like this about their relationships! So i think the short answer is: do the least amount of talking one must do to make necessary things happen, then let things play out organically on their own. Dont feel like you have to feel like a sports commentator, where you have to give a play by play, or an in depth analysis, replete with charts, bar graphs and win probabilities.
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