Hearted Youtube comments on According to Nicole (@AccordingtoNicole) channel.

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  18. The destruction of the third place is intentional and malicious. The most dangerous thing for the ruling class is for the people to congregate and start talking to each other. coffee shops played a large role in fueling the French Revolution - people of different classes mixed, forming bonds of kinship, had an opportunity to see their similarities, complain about taxes, and eventually organize. I went to a coffee shop every day for 12 years. It had been a gathering place for at least 40 years. Every day by 3 PM there would be a cloud of smoke and several groups of people that would intermingle, drifting from one table to another. It was a tempting place to stop for strangers walking out of the adjacent movie theater. They were open till 2 - perfect for people leaving the adjacent bar to sober up before going home. Around 2012 that shopping center was bought by an out of state real estate company who raised the rent, built a chain coffee shop in the middle of the parking lot, and sneaked into city hall to pass a smoking ban that was only enforced at this shopping center. The tone changed over night and the vibe was dead; by 2014 there was no significant population of regulars. I spent the next couple years exploring public gathering places. As a home health nurse I spent A LOT of time working on my computer in random places so I had daily opportunities to loiter in public for hours (before covid). Maybe there's some dive bars that survived the last decade, IDK, I don't drink, and couldn't afford to drink at bars if I did. Maybe there's some active church communities that survived the last decade, IDK, I'm not religious. But I know for a fact that in the south silicon valley, there are no secular, class heterogeneous third places to just loiter at and meet strangers. I used to think this loss of third places was wholly a product of social anxiety's cure - social media. But as I become more politically educated I can't help but notice how devastatingly powerful this loss is for the ruling class. We may have been nudged towards isolation by the inevitability of technology, but public policy pushed to guarantee our isolation. I'm not claiming a huge organized conspiracy. Just a thousand little cuts - a real estate company here, a starbucks there, a news report about how unsafe we are, an anti-ergonomic bench placed by a city to move the homeless. Like Carlin says - there's no need for conspiracy when interests of the powerful converge. The opportunity to live a full human experience and connect to our community has been stolen in order to protect the status quo and keep people out of public unless they're rich enough to drop $100 minimum on a night out. Because I promise you - if you are so poor that you need to consider the value of $100 for a couple of hours on the town, then your interests are 100% counter to those who make the decisions; you are dangerous and can not be allowed to congregate. PS - one venue that seems to have survived is Vietnamese coffee shops. I didn't know this was a thing! The baristas wear bikinis and serve middle aged guys playing card/dominoes as they watch sports on TVs that cover every inch of the walls. If only they spoke English and played Magic: The Gathering I might still have a reason to leave the house :(
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  19. Wow 😮 I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. Stress like that can really mess up your body. I pray this is over soon and you can find joy again. I have many life choices that I regret. Our housing regret started in 2018 when I sold my condo as did my Mom so we could move to Florida. We moved 1000 miles south and everything went wrong. Our car that we had bought a week before moving was hit the first day in Florida. Then my job was not what I had expected and my husband’s job ended up not hiring him. So looking for work to keep our lifestyle was stressful. We were deathly afraid and decided to run back to our home state. After only living in Florida for 8weeks we moved back. We both were able to return to our previous jobs. We bought a house with my Mom. Life should have resolved itself but it didn’t. The nightmare continues even up until now. After living with mom for a period of time I knew we couldn’t continue. We sold that house and got her money back to her. We were now out of a lot of money. Mom has bought another house she can afford but it’s 45 minutes away. Not the just down the street location. We are still renting because we can’t afford a house in this market. It will be at least another year before we can buy again. The condo we sold for $140,000 now costs $225,000. We are renting one exactly like our old unit for $1500 a month and our previous mortgage was right at $1000 with taxes and HOA fees. So much regret and money lost. Living and learning hurts. Keep posting your story as it will hopefully help someone else make a better decision. If only we had stayed put in our last condo and not moved to Florida. But even after all of this we are thankful we still have a nice place to live and hopefully the next time we buy we will be content to never move again.
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