Comments by "Jack B" (@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing) on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" channel.

  1. President Trump: Innapropriately touching your inner child
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  2. He's Jim Jones, but without the tan
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  3. I find it amazing that garden-variety Americans still have no idea what the Paradise Papers are, or that it links to ALL of these Dollar Store Bond Villains around the world and at home
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  4. New Yawk superhero.
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  5. If you think this is bad, wait until 10 years from now, when the bell tolls and the bill comes due.
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  6. I can't wait for The Onion to not be so literal anymore
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  7.  @ricky18redblack31  Stop. Just stop. The moment a Conservative spouts off about Values, what they mean is what they value is unspeakable, and they know it. They're not stupid enough to define that what they're valuing is apartheid, oppression, power, supremacy doctrine, social darwinism at gunpoint, and feudalism. So long as they are the Lords. They cry for 'small government' only when they are up to no good, to the ruin of all others.
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  8. The Royal Buggy had a license plate that said "Fresh", and it had dice on the mirror
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  9.  @mv80401  It's the Conviction part he always dodged, because Republicans gonna Republican.
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  10. Wait til he tries the Bagpipe Bong
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  11.  @guacamolekid3899  No one wears 'body armor' slacks, much less a repurposed circus tent. GTFO with that garbage
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  12. Florida: The further North you go, the more Southern it gets
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  13. If there's one thing I can't forgive, it's the way he's convinced so many people to roll around without the slightest concern. I'm seeing it all over the streets right now, and businesses, who doubtless figure he's on their side, literally having employees not wear masks. Just saw that when I took my truck in for services at the Dealership. Every customer: Masks, trying to keep distance, not buying Trumps deadly BS Every employee: No masks, kept inviting me and everyone to get a cup of coffee, have some popcorn, and hang out in the lounge. And their desperation to upsell was at an all time manic level.
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  14. I feel like hippies didn't even to put up with Nixon's bullshit this long, and he had 2 terms.
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  15. Trump: Gets COVID Majority of America: If he dies, he dies
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  16. You must be in Austin. The Southern Portlandia.
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  17. This is the one case where I would say we should not bring them ALL home from the 'Nam.
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  18. The Sky is not real because Birds aren't Seth. Grow up.
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  19. Republican mouthpieces: You must adapt or die by rolling the dice with your life with the disease. Only the strong should survive. We won't think about the children. Also Republican mouthpieces: We cannot allow businesses to fail because they cannot adapt in this time of disease. Won't you think of the cash registers?
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  20. 'Muricans are so rebellious that the harder you try to give them good advice and education, they harder the mass of them will try to be "rugged individualists" fighting back against the evils of the Edumacation Macheen. Like if you get 20 80's Goth kids together in a room, and they proceed to tell you about how they're "expressing their individuality" while looking identical
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  21. This whole segment was nothing but low brow potty humor. I salute it.
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  22.  @daveroberts6884  There's a reason his supporters are such fans of the Dixie flag: They want to destroy this country. The flag says it all. And he was the perfect agent for them, for hostile foreign powers, and for those who could see wealth & opportunity in picking the bones of a dead America.
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  23.  Jay Bee  And still none of them were commander in chief. You're not getting around this one, Poindexter.
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  24. Bird World Problems - When your family totally implodes before the Turkey is even served StalkingStuffer - That cousin who lurks the kitchen, plate in hand, trying to gyp all the stuffing before Dinner Grandma Got Run Over by a Wine Truck - Pretty much self explanatory, and usually followed up by a.... HeBrewHaHa - When the family Matriarchs get sauced up with enough wine to start sharing what disappointments you all turned out to be, aka The Drunk Jewish Mom Speech
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  25. Dear Germany: Can we please borrow Angela for a few years? Just a couple, we swear. Until 2020. Maybe. We will see how it goes.
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  26. I got a grandkid now, and it's funny because he actually snoops around my house, and touches all my toys (snowboards, surfboard, skateboards, BMX bikes, dirt and street bikes, SCUBA gear, paintball guns, etc.) and all my old Army uniforms and stuff hidden in the closet. HE actually think I'm cool, and calls me teach them him to do all this stuff. But he always...sneaks around my daughters to do it, because they are still stuck in "My dad is embarassing" mode and say it loud and often around him. They are very fond of reminding me I am "Immature" because I still got hobbies and am in no way sad about being divorced. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Go nuts with your grandkids, and teach them to live life and not be a bunch of squares. It's the best revenge against your kids.
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  27. These crossovers have gone insane and we're about to have a time-space rip of s**tcan proportions. Fun fact: S**tcan alley is a UNESCO world heritage site.
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  28. "What's the greatest John Carpenter Movie" Mine, Seth. Obviously.
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  29.  @tyinva1212  Well, you don't sound smart either, just nasty and basic. Because he's right. The responsibility for determining when fire prone areas need preventative measures like backburning and identifying fuel risks IS the job of interagency cooperation between Land Management offices and fire departments. Sincerely...a Type II firefighter
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  30.  @jackintheville  The Halal one
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  31. It always starts with Blood and Soil with them, but their real lebensraum is a full 1.6 Gallon Flush & some Triple Ply
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  32. You know why Colin and Michael are so popular right now? They explain their jokes. Because that's the kind of audience America has become in this century. An audience that needs jokes explained and an alibi provided.
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  33. That we think being banned from one of many social media platforms is some important measure of justice worthy of intense public scrutiny just hightlights how completely fu**ed our priorities have become. We shouldn't be talking about his Twitter. We should be talking about whether or not he will be serving his sentence in Guantanimo for leading a terror movement caught in the act of treason.
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  34. We deserved to be lampooned, and Carrie and Fred did it well.
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  35. She can't get enough of me.
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  36. The likeness between Goebels and Stephen Miller is uncanny, as is Ted Cruz's doppleganger impression of Joe McCarthy
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  37. Good. Alex Jones will finally get The Chair.
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  38. That someone like Tucker Carlson losing his job is massive news speaks directly to how F'd up the world is right now.
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  39. I'm almost sad she didn't throw in a 'You all look the same to me' just to throw Seth out of the saddle
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  40. Damning with faint praise. You should see the shitshow that is his fridge. Who keeps all their taco bell sauce packets and McNugget dipping sauce? Honestly.
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  41. I originally misread that as dismemberment. Curiously, I felt it was just as valid a thing to say.
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  42. It just amazes me how someone who clearly failed high school Health class could be a Senator with a legislative opinion on the subject. Apparently they can't remember the definition of a Carrier.
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  43. I left Britney alone once. And look how that turned out.
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  44. I've always said Trump was a Ballchinian. But nooooo, none of you wanted to listen to me.
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  45. Jackals have to graze SOMEWHERE on a Sunday, after all.
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  46. He had almost 3 fewer million votes, yet he won in a "landslide" of 227 to 304 electoral votes. Add to that conservatives literally believing Fox that an outbreak is a "hoax" and take great pride in flouting any quarantine. If Biden does manage to edge him out in the EC, it will be by the slimmest of EC margins and will result in ConspiracyPalooza by Right Wing Media and Trump engineering recounts.
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  47. His base thinks Trump is revenge for a black guy being president, and they will burn the country down before letting it happen again
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  48. Define "Alive"
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  49. Murdoch is running out of English speaking countries he can flee to.
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  50. I suggest the DNC hire the Lincoln Project to run their 2022 election messaging. TLP is not afraid to call a spade a spade, and they sure as hell ain't afraid of hurting the feelings of traitors.
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