Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "PsycHacks"
channel.
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
That principle goes against healthy romantic relationships. A woman wants romantic love from her man, not just any kind of love that she can also get from her child. If you encourage her to accept any kind of love from her man like she does her child, she will lose romantic attraction to her man because she begins to see him as her child, and not her man.
If a woman tells you to please listen for a bit without offering solutions, that means she acknowledges you as her MAN and she is only trying to help YOU help her feel heard, understood, and safe like her man should help her feel. A good mother will NEVER ask this of her child, but instead, will actually help her child feel heard, understood, and safe, because the mother is the leader and protector of the child. You see how the design works? This is showing love.
So the original comment was right. The doc just doesn't understand women yet or how to properly show a woman love as the leader of the relationship.
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
"What works to maintain won't work to attract." This statement of yours defies common sense. If you attract her from the beginning with who you are, you will UNNATTRACT her by not MAINTAINING who you are. So, in other words, if you stop maintaining the person you are from the beginning in which she had attraction for, you'll obviously lose her attraction.
Also, you FINALLY are understanding how masculinity and femininity create romantic attraction. It's refreshing. Now what you DON'T understand yet is that these things are due to BEHAVIOR. NOT superficiality. The more feminine a man acts, the more he loses her attraction, but that can be turned around with a BEHAVIORAL adjustment. Its that easy.
Also, you've spoken out against boundaries before which is why you are wrong so often. Well part of that "negotiation" is for a man to HAVE PROPER BOUNDARIES and maintain them. This makes him attractive. This takes self-reflection and humility. When you finally eventually talk about this, I'll believe you finally FULLY know what you're talking about. Because i can really see you learning and slowly changing your mindset, and it's so nice to see it happen.
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
I'd say love means kindness, upbuilding, respect, discipline, calm, teaching, and honesty. All of this is necessary from both mothers and fathers. Holding back any of these things or doing the opposite of them is what creates trauma wounds that must be healed. Its really that simple. Irresponsibility of either parent can cause the trauma wounds you speak of.
The main difference of mothers and fathers is really just about who leads the family and who the calm rock is and who the softer one to go to is.
Also, you really shouldn't teach that there is some kind of negative aspect associated with failing, because thats teaching fear. That may be an insecurity or fear that you personally have. In reality, failure is simply a means to learn and adjust. Its important that we teach kids AND adults that we must give ourselves permission to be a beginner. This mindset takes the pressure off and allows us to focus 100% on learning and improving with no fear to get in the way.
We teach our own values and beliefs and boundaries to our children, even if we don't realize it. It happens no matter what, so the most important thing to do is to humbly self-reflect, so we can make sure we have things right with ourselves before we go and teach things to our kids.
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
3
-
Not bad. One major issue, though. You MUST already believe in yourself and know that you can do it. This is how you can be much more likely to pass the test and know that even if you don't, you'll still be ok. Waiting until you've actually done it to know you can do it is to remain uncertain, and uncertainty is low confidence, which results in not getting what you want and being less likely to pass those tests.
Also, the notion of having to "prove yourself" is approval seeking behavior. That results in a lack of confidence and needy behavior. You should already know that you are capable. There is no need to go out of your way to show off. If a job asks that of you, maybe, but definitely NOT in a relationship. This is why relationships and business are not the same.
Also, tests from women are things like to see if you can keep your cool, making sure you don't have a short temperature, seeing if you are really interested in her, and checking if you can handle not hearing from her for a little bit or if you'll flip out. Women do this so they can feel your calm masculinity so they can feel attraction toward you. These things have to already be developed in you as a man. If you go LOOKING to get her approval, that will show, and you'll come off as a little boy, and a woman can't be interested in little boy behavior.
This is why all your talk about status and money and success is awful and misleading advice, because thinking you need that to be attractive is another form of seeking a woman's approval. One day, I hope you finally understand this and have the courage to admit that for a long time, you really didn't know what you were talking about.
3
-
3
-
3
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2
-
2