Comments by "kxmode" (@kxmode) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. Disney produced a documentary about this back in the day. It was called "Old Yeller."
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  2. You would have seen them if anyone dressed as a pirate.
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  3. I really blame the house for creating the confining conditions that caused Jake "The Snake" Roberts to succumb to its wild ways—a genuine tragedy for all involved.
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  4. 1:41 2 points if you spottted the typo
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  5. It cost $2,954,010 for a 30-second Super Bowl spot in 2009. At $650 per 1993 Taurus, Ford would need to sell 4,544 to break even.
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  6. Zac Skingone
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  7. And in related news, this week, Amazon announced "Prime Wallet," a virtual bank account that always shows you have a million dollars in your account. When asked if it would show purchases, the chief innovator engineer cheerfully replied, "Absolutely. We will periodically fill your virtual account with random purchases including scarce products like PlayStation 5."
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  8. Was she swiftly taken into custody?
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  9. I think John McCain was a big fan of H. H. Holmes and secretly wanted to mimic his modus operandi.
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  10. The government covered up the "Girl at Borders Books" mission by forcing Borders Books into bankruptcy. They no longer exist... by design.
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  11. Can I put The Onion on those potatoes?
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  12. Can't be undone! o_o
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  13. When death's pillow is staring you in the eyelids, the only thing to do is lay there and take it like a man.
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  14. Jason Copeland is standing in for Clifford Banes, who just realized he left his keys in the door of a submarine somewhere in the Pacific.
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  15. Blue splotch in Africa... the Andorrians... it all makes sense now.
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  16. Ironic moral of the story: a tee doesn't hide a person's celluloid when swimming.
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  17. I think it ironically mocks those who criticize the diamond industry.
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  18. Whenever she said coin, think "Bitcoin." Okay now rewatch and laugh. :D
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  19. They'd learn about whales if they back Star Citizen
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  20. He took a bullet for humanity. Thank you, Dr. Kearns.
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  21. MAKE 7-UP YOURS
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  22. A good example of ego and narcissism.
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  23. I starting to believe The Onion exists to throw aliens into confusion. Then we'll be ready for them when they do come.
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  24. Hard hitting news coverage like the sweet sweet embrace of an aged mahogany slugger.
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  25. 15 years later, Cary Cahill is writing about this interview and how it defined Tracy Gill's life going forward. He's calling it an epic end to his triopic.
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  26. Gamers have been doing this for decades, especially in MMOs.
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  27. I used to watch NASCAR but gave up because it went nowhere.
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  28. I never deleted my Facebook account. I’ve just ignored it for 7 years.
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  29. "Jeff Bezos invests 2.3B in Amazon Androids after U.S. Government threatens to take away his toys."
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  30. "On-scene reporter Jim Miles has an update to this breaking story. Jim?" "Yes, I'm standing on a Californian beach, and it appears the dogs are running in circles. Back to you."
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  31. Has anyone checked out the build quality of a guacamole burrito?
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  32. Now we know DAD is an acronym for Death And Destruction
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