Comments by "kxmode" (@kxmode) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. I'm CERNtain they're wasting time.
    1
  2. So is he you insensitive person you!
    1
  3. You can still visit Aül today but need the seventh chevron for its Stargate.
    1
  4. Orange county doesn't mean the citrus variety.
    1
  5. Drowned from the water on your face! RIP Kirk
    1
  6. on the flip side: "every body every crime"
    1
  7. Watching this while wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt
    1
  8. YouTube Archaeologists Finds Video of Internet Archaeologists Finding Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization
    1
  9. 0:43 "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious."
    1
  10. It's probably because it works 24/7.
    1
  11. Do you have your voucher?
    1
  12.  @tygster22  Nah. I'm good. You have fun.
    1
  13. That horse trained in a holy field of magic hay.
    1
  14. That was Eerie, Indiana.
    1
  15. Literally every cooking show
    1
  16. That intro doesn't look like a war; it looks more like a bunch of Ninjas throwing stars at one another.
    1
  17. "I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me the honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?" "Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. We really don't..." "Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary, just... The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?" "Not good." "You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?" "I'd say more like one out of a million." "So you're telling me there's a chance. YEAH!"
    1
  18. That is, indeed, a Guacam-ystery.
    1
  19. I really enjoyed Stephen's decision to use practical effects. He could have easily CG'ed the trees and kids.
    1
  20. Did you hear the one about the boy who cried, Wolf Blitzer?
    1
  21. They did. He's on the cover of that Android book.
    1
  22. Who's Chloe?
    1
  23. I like pie
    1
  24. "doing so.... . ....................... ironically"
    1
  25. 1:28 People call those ASMR videos
    1
  26. Justin Timberlake discreetly removes 'N Sync from resume
    1
  27. Now we know Daisy is Taylor's favorite flower.
    1
  28. Disabled Pea 😄
    1
  29. Not sure if parody or a report on modern travel.
    1
  30. It must be hard eating chili with a silver spoon
    1
  31. Does this come in vegan options?
    1
  32. I guess 12-years ago 480p was "HD"
    1
  33. Looks like he lost his social media job. Speedstick found out 99% of their followers are bots.
    1
  34. What do you call a ginger who drinks ale?
    1
  35. Whatever you do, don't send onion pot pies. They're cantankerous and gamey.
    1
  36. Peter Jacksaw
    1
  37. Is this a metaphor for debt?
    1
  38. If it's not made with Rich Corinthian Leather, it's not THE briefcase.
    1
  39. Androids and Doppelgängers confirmed! Hide the Ziploc baggies!
    1
  40. Dafur Lightfur
    1
  41. People need to be prepared for seasonal climate change!
    1
  42. In other news, sales for Ted's cookbook have plummeted, while sales for fast food places have skyrocketed.
    1
  43. What about all the handicapped scooters who need humans to help them travel for location to location?
    1
  44. Is Jim the King of Jamaica?
    1
  45. I especially like the Dr Seuss crossover
    1
  46. Every talk brings tears to my eyes
    1
  47. Basically, every guy has potatoes and BBQ sauce in their kitchen. Best recipe ever!
    1
  48. I don't have facts about cheetahs, but I know a couple things about cheatahs. Here's a freebie: "they never prosper."
    1
  49. "I thought the movie was dope." - Abraham Lincoln
    1
  50. "Climb the Cinnamountain!"
    1