Comments by "kxmode" (@kxmode) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. It's got what pope's crave. It's got electrolights!
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  2. The Elder Scrolls comes from your age after scrolling through all the options.
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  3. The hosts kept her things 🤨
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  4. Sums up perfectly the gear grind in all MMOs
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  5. File this under the Department of Redundancy Department
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  6. I used to play a video game called Reject Man's Sky, Two Of Kuni, Desire for Speed, Unnamed: Automata, Assassin Gaiden, and Stock Car Racing Heat
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  7. lumber > children
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  8. It could be worse
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  9. "NSA reports your computer is plotting to take over your life after Pootie Tang becomes too popular."
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  10. "BUSES TO BE EQUIPPED WITH A 'CAFE-PASSANGER' WHO SELLS TAMALES OUT OF A COOLER" 😄
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  11. De-bone your potatoes? Okay Julia, put down the weed.
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  12. In other news, Florida declares Rice-a-Roni a state bird.
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  13. In-N-Out makes the best tasting cheese burger. How do I know that? I don't have any data to back that up, but I feel it... deep down in my gut, that's it's true.
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  14. The jig is up, Mr. The Onion! The Robotic Police Officer isn't on IMDB.
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  15. Car-pe Diem!
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  16. When I grew up in the 80s a coin was the only way to play video games... in a room full of them!
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  17. DATA LAND MINING 💥💥
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  18. I liked when the seven foot man completed an overthrow
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  19. The baby's name will probably have a weird spelling like Tewpawk
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  20. Even when it was $5, I wouldn't eat at Subway. I used to work there, and the meat is not correct. For example, the roast beef changes colors. It can shift between purple and green depending on the angle you see.
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  21. and half-and-half sponges.
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  22. I want to take a vacation in my mind but the Grabbler keeps taking all my money. I can't afford to pay attention!
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  23. WTG Jeffrey. You're showing us all how to do it.
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  24. Joe Bailout
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  25. You're either Indiana or your not
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  26. I didn't get the point. I have a Corolla.
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  27. Maybe that Sleepy Chicken recipe on Tiktok is an Onion joke. 😳
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  28. If only we had known, we could have prevented this tragedy.
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  29. Do my questions stick to Facebook walls?
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  30. "Pizza Hut debuts Retirement Fund consisting of cheese and bacon to appeal to the investor demographic."
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  31. "Abracadabra!" - Chris Nolan
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  32. You forgot the most important ingredient… the onion 🧅
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  33. Is that a Chef's Knife? Sword. Whatever.
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  34. hooman re sus
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  35. Can I get the gluten-free vegan version of this recipe?
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  36. Is this the reason there's a massive gaping hole where Devil's Tower used to be?
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  37. What bearing did this have on the concentrated frozen orange juice market?
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  38. As a son with a parent afflicted by Alzheimer's, this hit me. I'll never see Dory the same way again. 😭
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  39. will this protect us from cannibals?
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  40. Don't they mean "Suspicious Package Industry Has Worst Al-Quarter Yet" ?
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  41. Sully 2: Geese Revenge "Next Summer, Honk for Justice!" PG-13
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  42. That is a broken man.
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  43. "Fine." Jake, it's never fine.
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  44. Let's throw caution to the wind and hope for the best.
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  45. The problem with this is that the speaker eventually refers to themselves in the third person.
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  46. Pretty sure she was in a bad relationship with Alabama
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  47. I don't know if anyone noticed this but the spinning globe in the beginning at 0:01 has words like: VATICAN CITY points to Italy CHRIST'S TOMB points to Israel OIL points to the Middle East BIN LADEN assuming it points to Pakistan TERROR ZONE appears to point to the Seychelles Islands ROBOTIC UPRISING appears to point to the Philippines GOOD AFRICA points to Namibia MONEY ISLAND points to San Juan Bautista PACIFIC GARBAGE MASS points to probably a random mass of floating seaweed ADRENOCHROME MINE points to Brazil UNGRATEFUL COLONIES points to the Gulf of Mexico VEGAS points to Seattle ARKON, OH points to Arkon, OH
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  48. Have you reached the indifference plateau? You might be back in 5 years to take back your upvote.
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  49. Pantene is a performance enhancing drug.
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  50. With the exception of the military and tech/game companies when something breaks, nobody works for a constant 24 hours... but somehow the news made it a thing.
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